Using Rage Constructively

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So, you’ve got fire in your eyes and rage in your belly. What now?

Here’s what you can do to help:

  1. DONATE:
    • You can donate to the victims of the Charlottesville attack via multiple GoFundMe pages. The victims of the car attack can be reached here, to donate to the man beaten by Nazi’s in a parking garage here, and to Natalie Romero, a victim without health insurance, here. You can also donate to the local NAACP chapter here, the Black Lives Matter chapter here,  Charlottesville’s only synagogue here, and the Charlottesville Pride community here.
  2.  Protest:
    • It is terrifying out there right now, and with the recent events in Charlottesville, people are afraid to protest white supremacists. Unfortunately, now more than ever, we need to gather peacefully to show that we are not afraid and will not be intimidated. There is power in numbers, and you can be one of them by joining here.
  3. Stop hatespeech:
    • When you hear an employer, coworker, parent, teacher, or racist uncle say something that is discriminatory, CALL THAT SHIT OUT. Silence is violence. It is perpetuating that it is ok to use hate speech. People will do whatever they want so long as no one says anything, so SAY SOMETHING.
  4. Use the words White Supremacist and Nazi frequently:
    • This is not “alt right” or “nationalism.” Nazi’s hide behind terms like these to cloak what they actually are. Using the correct rhetoric fights denial. Call it out whenever you can.
  5. If you are a parent, educate your child:
    • Beliefs start at home, and preaching love and acceptance to your children will instill a moral compass that deters them from this scary, repugnant hate. Keep an eye on your young ones and educate, educate, educate.
  6. Write your representatives:
    • Are you outraged? Write the right people here. Demand equal and fair police protection. Update them on what is going on in your district. Complain about the president. Whatever it is that you have to say, tell them. They are called representatives for a reason; tell them who and how to represent.

There is a lot we can do, as a community, to start making change. Nothing gets done by sitting idly by. Get active, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Why Rage is Essential

I want to make one thing abundantly clear to all of my coven RIGHT NOW: Rage is not just ok, it is essential.

If any of you have this idea of me that I sit in my room with sage and crystals in perfect peace and harmony 24/7, you are wrong. I am human, with many nuanced emotions, and rage is one of them.

There is a lot to be angry about in this world. Especially now with the growing numbers of Nazi groups and white supremacists creating fear and threatening minorities. With privileged males taking sexuality away from women. With our gay and trans community getting stripped of their rights. With poverty. With hunger.

Social change starts with rage. Rage is a constructive, funneled emotion that fuels the need to end discrimination. It is not hate. It is not cowardice. It is a channeled fury that promotes activism.

The difference between rage and hate, is that rage comes from a well thought out philosophy. It challenges social constructs. It is a retaliation of our values being jeopardized. It is the effect of being threatened to our very core.

Hate, on the other hand, is a byproduct of cowardice and fear. Instead of learning, growing, evolving, and accepting, there are those that choose to block themselves off from the world and use fear to create fear. That is not rage. That is not anger. That is gutlessness.

Rage takes Strength. Rage takes courage to let the lions head lay on your lap, and to combat fear with knowledge and tenacity. Standing up for what is right is imperative, and those of us with an innate privilege in our DNA have the highest obligation to use it for change. Strength and privilege are not synonymous.

As symbolized in the Nine of Wands, we must persevere in times of conflict. We must stand up for our communities and make this world a little safer every day for those who live in it. Now is not the time to be silent. Silence makes you complicit.

Take the recent Taylor Swift case, for example. She was sexually assaulted and took it to court, and everyone stayed silent. Even those she had donated money to and supported in their sexual assault cases didn’t say a word. Just because she really isn’t very likable.

Standing up for what is right IS NOT CONDITIONAL. Sexual assault is not ok just because the victim isn’t your favorite person. Racism is not ok just because it doesn’t affect you. Using the word “faggot” is not ok just because you didn’t mean it like that.

I can’t stress this to my community enough: What is happening right now is NOT OKAY. And as reasonable people with voices, we must use them to start AND CONTINUE the dialogue. If you see a friend, family member, employer, whoever, who is being discriminative and blindly abusive, CALL THAT SHIT OUT. Collective change starts at an individual level. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Because they will find others who think like them, and light IKEA tiki torches and march in the name of hate.

I’m begging you, witches. Use your voice. Use your big, beautiful, bold, strong voice to make a difference. Even if you don’t think your voice will promote change, because you are just one person, if everyone thought like that we’d be in majorly deep shit. In fact, that’s pretty much what’s happening now. Stay woke, and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Eclipse Season Survival Guide

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This eclipse season is INTENSE witches!

With the full moon eclipse in Aquarius and the upcoming solar eclipse in Leo, we’re headed for an emotional and full throttle ride.

Since I had no post on Monday, I’ve decided to just craft a mini-survival guide for the next couple weeks, in lieu of a self help exercise according to the topic of the week.

Within all of this big big energy, we’re going to encounter three major things that will throw us for a loop. Here they are and how to keep your head on straight through it!

  1. Feeling vulnerable: 
    • This eclipse season is going to crack your soul open in a deep way. This may leave you feeling unsafe or scared. Just remember to not shrink up. Change is amazing and transformative, and the epiphanies at this time can help to lead you on a new and vibrant path. Use your judgement and proceed with caution in your day to day, and remember to be gentle with yourself, but ultimately embrace the tide.
  2. Acceleration: 
    • Life is MOVIN ladies! Quickly, I might add. In the face of a fast pace, I suggest taking a step back. Take things slowly, carefully, and deliberately. Try not to get swept up in anxiety and make impulsive moves that may land you in hot water. There is always time to breathe.
  3. Confusion:
    • With a period of night and day becoming one, there is a lot of confusion running about this season. A great way to find clarity is to journal journal journal. If you use a notepad to structure your thoughts, you will find more ease in your days. This is a great time for regular meditation as well.

All in all, I wouldn’t go into eclipse season feeling afraid. Just prepare yourself with the right tools and stay cognizant of why certain feelings may be coming up. Stay level headed and stay witchy ( *)

 

WednesdayWisdoms: How to Reach Out

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It’s hard to reach out to friends or family when you feel guilt or shame surrounding your situation. Those kinds of self-inflicted emotions can hinder your ability to speak up and reach out for the help you need.

So today I’m going to move, step by step, through how to pick up the phone:

  1. Notice your habits:
    • Make a journal or a list of things you tend to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed or down. Do you notice what your go-to actions are? Are you keeping a drinking log of how much you drink and when? Are you sleeping until 1pm instead of getting up at 8 and running like you used to? Has the small bag of chips turned into the family sized bag? What is falling off balance, and why? Is there a reason?
  2. Imagine your best friend called you for the same reason, and play out what you’d say in your head:
    • Would you judge him/ her? Would you scold them? Or would you be kind, loving, and supportive? Chances are, your phone call will go exactly the same way.
  3. Use the 5 second rule:
    • Feel the urge to call? Need help? Don’t give yourself more than five seconds to think about it. Literally count down to 5, and on 1, dial. If it is over 5 seconds, the brain will automatically start to create excuses. This tip is courtesy of miss Mel Robbins 🙂
  4. Reciprocity:
    • Friendships, the real good ones, are not one-sided and hollow. They are deep, nurturing, and loving. If you develop the kind of friendship that serves as a sacred safe space, you will always have support in your time of need. That means when your friend needs a pick me up, you’re there like you want them to be there for you. Being able to cultivate a friendship where you both lift each other up is priceless.

Don’t be afraid witchies. Reaching out is more rewarding than scary. It takes courage, but I know you’ve got that in spades. Get bold, and stay witchy ( *)

Reaching Out vs. Attention Seeking

img_3108As someone who previously felt shame in asking for help, I have a lot of experience in this area.

I used to think that if I couldn’t conquer something on my own, I was a failure. And not even just day to day tasks. In fact, I would internalize my emotional problems to the point of many sicknesses, because I thought that if I needed help dealing, I was crazy.

This, in turn, manifested in a lot of “acting out.” Crying when drunk, doing a bunch of drugs, easy sex, the list goes on. I was seeking attention because I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.

But here’s the secret: Asking for help isn’t shameful. Everyone needs help at some point in their life.

And now, that’s why I do what I do. I help those in need. I help rectify bad judgement and steer clients away from dangerous behavior. Because that was me.

So, are you acting as the Knight of Swords reversed? Acting out in a hasty and impulsive manner? Are you noticing that you are creating drama in order to get noticed? Is it because you can’t ask for help and are hoping these outlandish behaviors will force you into it? Is that really easier?

Or are you so ashamed that you’d rather impose your own isolation, as in the Four of Cups? Is there so much guilt involved in whatever you need help with, that you’d rather vanish all together?

I’ll say it again,  because it needs to be written in stone. Asking for help ISN’T SHAMEFUL.  It is actually an act of courage. It means you’d rather not walk around the subject in tragic circles, and instead point directly at the problem. It means that you are willing to stand up for yourself and do whatever it takes. It means there is too much bullshit in the world for you to create more that doesn’t need to be there. It means you’re a fighter.

So, if this speaks to you at all, I’m calling on you to reach out. Pick up the phone, and call a friend and talk. Spill your guts out and have a conversation about whatever is bothering you. This is not your cross to bear, and friends are there to listen. Friends don’t want you to struggle alone. And hopefully your friend can point you in the right direction for the help you need. And if that happens to be a life coach, you know where to find me. Stay witchy ( *)

 

 

WednesdayWisdoms: Break Out of the Breakup

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Breaking up is hard to do, but with these simple tactics, you can get through it so much easier.

Earlier this week I talked about why letting go of heartbreak is so hard, and today I have some tips to ease the pain, including a special invite to my Masterclass starting next Tuesday.

  1. CRYING:
    • This tip is my favorite, because I am a BIG crier. Honestly, I believe that crying, no matter what triggered the tears, helps to wash away what is really bothering you. So, if you can’t cry on cue, I suggest turning on a sad movie, or even a really sad song. Anything that will get you going. Because I promise, you will not stop once you start.
  2. Kickboxing or any other physical activity:
    • If you are angry as fuck, there is nothing better than punching or kicking something. Even running or HIIT works too. Anything to get your body moving, heart pumping, and that negative energy out. Put on some empowering lady music, like Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter,” and get moving!
  3. Meditation:
    • This is a great tip regardless of if you’re going through a breakup or not. Meditation helps to clear a space in your brain, free from anxiety and safe from his name. This practice is a vacation from your sadness and worry. And it doesn’t have to be super traditional, either! Guided meditations from Simple Habit help to focus on someones voice. I like listening to white noise machines that play heavy rain. You can even listen to music and focus on the notes, which also helps to heal your heart chakra. There are plenty of ways to meditate that will suit your needs.
  4. Stop Obsessing (aka BLOCK)
    • This tip is essential, guys. Even if you broke up months ago, if you keep checking his/ her Facebook or Instagram to see if they’re dating someone yet, you’re obsessing. That space, that energy, that you’re using to think about him/ her, could be used to focus on yourself. So, just do yourself a favor and block. It doesn’t have to be with malicious intent, you’re just doing it for your own protection.
  5. Understand frequencies
    • When two people vibrate at the same frequency, an attraction forms. And when the attraction is strong, they form a relationship. Over time, people’s frequencies change. Sometimes for the better, or worse. It just depends on the direction of their growth. When this happens in a parallel motion, the relationship is sustained. However, when the frequencies are mismatched, there is a break in the relationship. And this is a GOOD THING. If you’ve outgrown your partner because you are vibrating at a higher frequency, then great! Appreciate what that person has given you, and move forward. And if you are the one that has been outgrown, take this gift from the universe and use it to focus on yourself. These are both blessings.
  6. Enroll in my workshop
    • Last, but not least, I want to invite my loyal blog readers to the Masterclass I am hosting for the month of August. From August 1st – 31st, join a Facebook group, led by me and my friend Rachel Spencer, with rituals, affirmations, journal exercises, and support from fellow women with heartbreak. Learn more about the class here and register via the link at the bottom.

Heartbreak is hard, I know, but these tips will make it easier. Be well, and I hope to see you all in August. Stay witchy ( *)

Letting Go of Heartbreak

When love ends, there is always an undeniable hurt.

Even if you’re the one doing the ending, there is still an unshakable sadness. On the one hand, you don’t have the person around that you spent so much time with anymore. and on the other, there’s just plain disappointment.

I think the biggest reason why we hold onto this sadness and heartbreak, is because we were so attached to the hope that this person could be the “one.” And whether it came as a surprise because you were broken up with, or you sat with the decision to make the break, it’s never an easy reality to come to.

And that’s the thing that makes heartbreak so gut-wrenching. Because our society puts so much pressure on us to find that one special person to be with forever, when you end a relationship, it almost feels like failure. Like you’ll never attain your fairy tale. Because of an attachment to the outcome and what it means for you.

But when you look more closely, objectively, at the state of the relationship, you can start to make sense of why it ended in the first place. Do you want to live in something that clearly isn’t working, just for the sake of not being alone? Or, even, to prove that you did what you were supposed to do?

Consider The Lovers, who signify an alignment of values. What I’ve come to learn in my short life, is that, over time, peoples values change. And if your values are not running parallel with your lover’s any longer, it is time to sever the ties.

In fact, it’s time to embody the Fool. With whimsy and hope, it is time to embark on a new journey to find a soul with a new alignment of values. It’s time to let go of what is no longer serving you and to find what will for however long that lasts.

Love and heartbreak are difficult to navigate because of the emotional investment. But when you recognize that staying with someone who isn’t right for you isn’t helping anyone, it may be the push you need to finally let go. Take care of your heart, and stay witchy ( *)