Manifestation vs. The Need to Control

In my early manifestation days, I ran into a lot of blocks wondering where the object of my desire would come from. Where am I supposed to get this cash flow? Where will I meet my soul mate? Maybe if I do this, or play the lottery, or stay at this bar later, everything will work out because I’M making it happen.

Well, boo boo, I was certainly wrong.

When you try to co-create with the universe, control is like using Google maps to a destination you’ve been to before. It takes you totally out of the way, and if you just had a little faith, you’d get there a lot quicker.

The need for control is very common. It helps us feel like we’re DOING something. But you can actually take action without controlling an outcome. You can move forward, be determined in your goal, and let the universe do the rest. It’s called surrender. And when you just get the hell out of your own way, the magic starts to happen.

Surrender feels the most impossible when you feel out of control. As the Chariot reversed suggests, worrying about that which is out of your hands can only lead to blockages. It is time to let go and let God (or universe.) Because when you start questioning the universe, it says, “Forget it, you do it then,” and watches you struggle from a distance.

You know how everything, up until now, has worked out? You know the feeling of the Four of Wands? One of harmony and completion? Even if it was fleeting? That is the universe doing it’s work. Don’t fight it, and don’t try to work against it. I know things in life pop up constantly, and it gets frustrating and tiring, and we feel like if we don’t make moves we are utterly powerless, but it’s actually quite simple: just show up, do what you gotta do, and let the universe take care of the rest. Cutting in front of the universe and trying to one up it doesn’t hep you AT ALL.

And I’m not saying don’t do your taxes and hope the universe takes care of it. No. Do what you gotta in life. But don’t question. Don’t worry. Surrender to the fact that this will all work out, and stay witchy ( *)

The Rocking Chair Epidemic

49c9ac29396791b64d12f0e8c56350a7

I heard this saying a while back: Worrying is like a rocking chair, it passes the time but doesn’t get you anywhere.

I personally find this poignant because worrying has always been my go-to. With lots of practice, it is a fraction of the size of the problem it used to be, but, we are all a work in progress.

The Five of Pentacles is a major indicator of worry and desolation. But here’s the thing, going through a tough time is not going to be made easier by worrying about the future. The most important thing to do in times of hardship is to pick yourself up from your boot straps and do whatever necessary to get you back to a comfortable situation.

If you lost your job, instead of worrying about money, get on Craigslist and find a temp job until you can get something you love. Boyfriend broke up with you? Go out with your girlfriends to get your mind off of what he’s doing. Worrying about how you performed on the job interview? Get back out there to get more interviews, even if it was a slam dunk. Being proactive is going to help you get your mind off of things that are completely out of your hands at this point. You do not control them now, the universe does.

Another thing that helps is the repetition of mantras. I have had many upsets with dating, as you may have read, and when things start to go good, or bad, or hell even the same, I’m quick to worry. So to keep my head on straight and to put up a safety net in the rabbit hole, I repeat to myself a couple key mantras that work for me. Mostly they are reminders to have faith, go with the flow, and continue to be proud of how I show up. This is how I stay proactive in my mental health.

So you can sit in that miserable rocking chair all night and obsess over every detail you’ve made up in your head, or you can put all of that excess energy into something productive. Have some faith, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Tackling Obsession

07669edda18dc083a9fbd175e7b6ea88

Uh oh. Here’s that scary Devil card again.

However, today, we’re going to use it to illustrate obsession.

This card is not “bad” by any measure, but it is truly enlightening. It is the perfect metaphor for obsession. Being bound by mental chains of fixation on one thing or another is quite debilitating.

When we obsess, we lose sight of everything else around us. We are the horse with blinders on, only staring ahead at the thing we desire most. And that thing may even change routinely, but when the obsession is present, nothing else is.

I have a problem with obsession. From the tiniest of things to large scale life goals, obsession is something I have struggled with for most of my life. It stems from my need for control: if I put this in the forefront of my minds eye, it can’t go anywhere or do anything until it is achieved. It cannot change or be forgotten if all I do it think about it.

As unhealthy as that is, in earlier years I convinced myself that the obsession begat ambition. That it was fuel for the fire. And in my rationalizing my obsession, it became ok to do with everything in my life.

However, the stark difference between obsession and goal setting, is that goal setting doesn’t interfere with the rest of your life. Goal setting makes room for many aspects in it, while obsession demands full attention.

The way I deal with my obsession is by using an exercise tailored to the root of my problem. I fixate because I’m afraid I will forget, and therefore fail. So in order to not forget, when I find myself becoming fixated on whatever it is, be it a healthy diet, new pair of jeans, a morning routine, or even the pursuit of love, I write it down. Once it is written down in a list or a notebook, something I regularly look at, it cannot be forgotten. It now exists in stone, and frees up my mind from all of the worries and anxieties associated with obsession.

So if you find yourself fixating on something, try to figure out why it is so important, and try to soothe your mind based on what you find. Obsession is wasted energy, and there is so much out there that deserves your attention. So be frugal with the amount of energy you spend, and stay witchy ( *)

Worrywart

5 of pentacles web copy

Two days in a row, the five of pentacles makes an appearance! However, today we are working with an upright version of this card. This suggests insecurity and worry.

One of my favorite sayings in the world is “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It passes the time, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”

That being said, those of us that are control freaks can’t help but passing the time in that fateful rocking chair.

Worrying is an art that is cultivated and nurtured over time. We weren’t born with this skill, but it almost makes us feel better to think about solutions or outcomes to things over and over and over again in our heads. It makes us feel like we could be prepared for any situation. Or at least, like we weren’t caught off guard. That’s why we keep doing it.

However, it is just taking up space in our brains. It doesn’t actually help us, it distracts us. It sabotages us. What is, is. And what will be, will be. Uncertainty is terrifying, and worrying helps us to wrap our heads around possible outcomes.

Think of your mind as Mrs. De Winter and your worry as Mrs. Danvers (I just watched Rebecca last night, if you don’t get the reference the film is on YouTube.)

Your mind is naive and so verklempt by the situation at hand that it is easily malleable. And your worry is doing mental gymnastics so decorated that Simone Biles would flip her shit. Your worry is convincing you into a deeper and deeper hole until you’re at the bottom of a well looking up at Buffalo Bill.

Your worry doesn’t serve you. It traps you. It might make you feel comfortable in the moment, because if you think about it constantly you have a handle on it. But in actuality, it serves as your coffin, being slowly nailed.

I worry about most things. But I’ve since thought up a way to escape from my worries. Now, when I find a thought persistently entering my mind, I write it down. I feel as though I haven’t lost it that way. Like it is safe. But at the same time, it doesn’t poison me anymore. It’s almost as if I have set my demon free.

This blog helps me as well. Whether it is a list, a diary, a blog, or even vocalizing to a friend, setting a thought free rather than hiding and fixating is a healthy alternative. You end the sabotage, and regain control over your brain.

So let it go, and stay witchy ( *)