Season 3 Episode 9

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witchywisdoms.com

Welcome back to the WAYIYJ Podcast!!!

Season 3, Episode 9 is live!

I’m coming to you today with Dana Suchow, activist behind Do the Hotpants, to talk about being vulnerable! We discuss how your brand evolves with you, fear behind vulnerability and growth, and allowing space for others.

Find her on:

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

Theme song by Cody Valentine

Why I Always Romanticized the Word “Tragic”


I remember being 13 and wanting to be miserable. 

You know the saying, “misery loves company”? 

Misery loves familiarity. And romanticizing tragedy was so aligned with my state at that time. I needed tragic to be romantic so I could feel a sense of worth. 

There was something about the skinny, miserable, cigarette smoking girls I would see in movies that was glamorous to me. It was like validation. But I wasn’t looking at the big picture. I was looking to feel comfortable, instead of getting UNcomfortable and completely changing my state. 

My perspective was looking across the floorboards to find loose change under couches, instead of standing up and seeing the entire room. My view was low and targeted, instead of vast and abundant. 

This was very reminiscent of the 8 of Swords. Blindfolded and bound, unaware of the way out that was right in front of me at the time. Tragedy wasn’t the answer, opening my eyes was. 

I needed to see the World. I needed to view the fulfillment you can achieve by waking up. I couldn’t feel whole without getting out of my own head. And once I did, the magic happened. 

If this sounds like you, and you love tragedy, and negativity follows you, it’s time to step back. Every time you feel down, think of your mental state. You are your own prisoner; you can open the cell at any time. Get out of your head, and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Standards, What?!

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To continue this weeks theme of creating standards and boundaries in love in order to reinforce the positive beliefs in yourself, we’re going to do some writing exercises and watch some movies.

First, pick three movies or tv shows in which you absolutely adore one of the characters romantically and make a profile for each one. Write a list of pros and cons for each character and from there, we’ll pick out the things you’d like to look for in a potential mate.

For example, if Mr. Big is your type, you need to create a list for what you find so attractive and be HONEST. If his womanizing ways turn you on, we need to explore that and find out why. For the most part, we need to dismantle old, unconscious beliefs before we create new and healthy ones.

If you love his sense of fashion, or that he finally stepped up in the end, then write that down too. Your pros and cons are subjective, but each quality needs to be explored.

So for each of the three characters, write three qualities in each column. Notice any overlaps. Try to find out what something seemingly negative or unhealthy lights your fire. Get CURIOUS.

This might come to a bit of a shock, because this is perhaps the first time you’ve even looked at why you’re attracted to certain kinds of men. And it might be scary, but remember that the future hasn’t happened yet, and you have the ability to change it! Stay aware and stay witchy ( *)

Recurring Dreams


I get asked about recurring dreams all the time. I even used to struggle with them myself. But the funny thing about recurring dreams, or dreams in general, is that they are just metaphorical manifestations of our greatest fears and hopes.

One reader wrote to me recently that she often dreamt of a “frail, depressed girl” who was constantly out of reach. She kept trying to grab and help her, but the girl kept slipping away. And every time she woke up, she was frightened.

I asked her a few questions about her upbringing, and she had faced some neglect in her life. I asked her if she knew how to care for herself and give herself the attention she deserved, and she said not really. Then I asked her if the little girl in the dream could be her, and she didn’t know how to respond.

After she came to the realization that she so desperately wanted to save herself, but did’t know how, she started a healing process. You see, our dreams force our unconsciousness into light. It is in a cryptic, somewhat creepy manner, but it’s enough to grab our attention and make us curious.

The Moon illustrates fears and anxieties coming up from our subconscious. Sometimes we don’t know what is buried there, nor are we willing to uncover it. But let me tell you, if it wants to be heard, it will be.

In this instance you must embody the Fool. You must embark on this journey to find the pain that is plaguing you. And if it is so unconscious that you need help to discover what it is, I am always only an email away.

Get dreaming, and stay witchy ( *)

Why a Job Won’t Give You A Sense of Purpose If You Aren’t Living Purposefully

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To piggy back on my WednesdayWisdoms exercise, I want to dive a little further into my experience with career:

Throughout my life, I had always put pressure on finding a dream job. I have worked in the service industry since age thirteen, and worked full time through college, but it never fulfilled me. I always dreamed I was destined for more.

In the search, over time, I lost my path. I knew I needed certain things out of a job, but I lost my creativity. And to a point, I would take any job that had a fancy title.

When I got the chance to work as a general manager in a restaurant, I thought that that was it for me. I thought that one day I would take over and have a couple of restaurants in New York, but then, as with the crumble of my life at the time, I lost the job, and felt that I had lost everything.

I poured all of my energy into this job and into my toxic relationship and none of it into ME. I was not living with purpose because I felt I had none. I tried to find it in a man and a job, and when I lost both I felt that my purpose was taken from me. But, on the contrary, it was inside me the entire time.

Much like the Hermit of the Major Arcana, it was time for some serious soul searching. My purpose was in there somewhere, I just had to find it.

And my purpose, as with I believe all women’s purpose, is to live an authentic life. My authenticity stems from my intent to help. And once I carved out some boundaries around it, I’ve made it my career. My purpose has given me what I so desired. And it runs deep. Deeper than any title that wouldn’t, or couldn’t, serve me.

Now, like the World card shows, I feel a sense of fulfillment. And it’s because I’m listening to my body and my soul. I’m living out my will. I am not hushing my creativity or silencing my innate need to nurture.

So what is your soul screaming? What is the purpose you seek out to live? Who is the woman inside of you trying to be? If you listen to her and live with purpose, purpose will live with you back.

Live purposefully, and stay witchy ( *)

 

From Survivor to Thriver

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Since I have been hosting my podcast, I have asked my guests a final question that is always the same: When you look in the mirror today, who do you see?

And almost every single time they answer: a survivor.

All of my guests, and all of the women in the world, are survivors. At least to some degree, every woman has beat the odds to be in the position she is now. It’s an extraordinary thing.

But when I think of a survivor, I think of someone in tattered clothes with a burning wreckage behind them that they’ve just escaped. I think of a beautiful woman with a look of determination on her face as she walks away from the flames. She did it. She got out.

But how do we fast forward to a day where that same woman is prospering and showered?

Survivor–> Thriver.

Staying stuck in the parameters of a survivor is limiting. The memories of what you have survived are in the near past, and are still defining you as a human.

As the Chariot suggests, you have overcome an opposition. You are victorious. But now what?

To move in the direction of thriving, to feel the warmth, radiance, and abundance of the Sun, we need to heal and forgive. We need to put those memories behind us so we can move forward in our journey. We will never forget them, they are part of our story, but they no longer are the asterisk next to our name. They are at the very bottom of our Wikipedia page, below the many successes we have conquered due to the skills and knowledge we gained from those fateful tests.

We all move at our own pace towards thriving. It takes a long time to heal and reach forgiveness. But holding on to pain holds us back. Get thriving and stay witchy ( *)

Tales From My Bedroom Floor: Volume 5, The Victim

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Volume 5 is now up on My Trending Stories! Go read here:  https://mytrendingstories.com/article/tales-from-my-bedroom-floor-volume-5-the-victim/

 

In this six part series, I go through times that were pivotal in collecting my personal and detrimental belief system, all while crying on my bedroom floor.

And if you like my writing so far, please share and comment. I’m working on a new and long term project and would really like some feedback on my writing style. Thanks ya’ll and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 1

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I’m SO EXCITED to bring the first ever podcast! Here you’ll meet Hannah Fuller, who shares her story about body image, competition, and carving out an identity in an image-driven industry.

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http://www.itsafullerlife.com

Please enjoy here, on Soundcloud through Shawn Engel, and on iTunes

Trauma Resolution

 

After rape, feeling safe isn’t easy to come by.

And through some interesting research and my favorite podcast, an idea was brought to my attention. You feel unsafe for surface reasons that are obvious, but also a deeper biological reason that isn’t so: you haven’t finished your fight or flight response, and so discomfort is an underlying feeling in similar situations. And this covers all forms of trauma.

The Tower can symbolize trauma. A card of disaster and upheaval, this card from the outside looks like doom. However, like all things in the tarot, and all things in life, there is ALWAYS a way to move through.

Trauma stores in your body like a parasite. And your fight or flight responses, your mammalian brain, always tries to rectify that. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I personally have slept with many a drunk stranger trying to correct what I thought I did wrong. And I always woke up feeling guilty because I couldn’t remember if the choice was mine or not. I was trying to rectify a sexual trauma with promiscuity.

In my case, my trauma (having happened while I was near to black out drunk) lives in my body and tries to mirror my traumatic situation in order to complete its fight or flight response. That means that, when out partying when I was not getting help, I would go up to strangers and flirt, using my mammalian brain to recreate a similar situation so I can fully act out my fight or flight, quenching the animalistic need to do so.

It’s almost like when you reboot a computer, but an application is still running so it won’t let you do so. That application is still trying to finish its job, but can’t move forward because you’re trying to shut everything down. By ignoring the application, you’re actually doing harm to the system and slowing down the progress, aka, your end goal.

What needs to happen, on the other hand, is addressing the situation head on. If you have lived through any kind of trauma (and that could look like anything, be it a divorce, rape, death, or something that isn’t textbook traumatic but simply made an impression on you) there needs to be an acceptance of what happened before you can move through it.

But what if you don’t know if you have trauma? What if something is holding you back underneath the surface but you don’t even realize it’s there? You don’t even realize it’s traumatic? Well I suggest this first: if you are engaging in unhealthy behaviors consistently, I ask you to dissect the context. When do you reach for that drink? When do you shop to numb out? When do you clean excessively? When you get curious about your habits, you will embark on a new mystery: solving the case of the root and not the symptom.

This is where you are guided by The Star. This is a card of transformation and healing, a reminder that you will always have the universe surround you and that you will never be alone in this world. Use this as your guide through the pain and into a lighter and brighter future.

Get curious. Address your feelings. Do not be afraid to indulge in your sadness, pain, or fear. They exist because you are human and you are a survivor. But in order to heal and move through, in order to rectify your trauma, you must ask the tough questions and accept the truth you find. Find your truth and stay witchy ( *)

 

How to be Wrong with Grace

 

Being wrong is just the worst, isn’t it?

The Five of Wands signifies conflict that is far from constructive. Everyone is shouting and no one is listening, so nothing gets accomplished. All the feelings are valid, but everyone is too self absorbed and focused on being “right.”

But what is the point of being right if nothing gets resolved? And what if, by some stroke of misfortune, you’re actually wrong for once?

Well it’s surely a hard pill to swallow, and as a struggling perfectionist, I never want to be wrong. But we are all human, and sometimes it just happens. Whether it be at work, at home, in a relationship, or with a friend, our human interactions leave a lot of room for hurt feelings. However, you can be wrong the right way.

If someone comes to you to address a problem they have with you, opening your ears and heart is the right way to receive the conversation. Reaching for combat to prove that you were right will get you nowhere; it almost always ends in a stalemate.

This is where you reach for Temperance. Balance, patience, and harmony will be your guide. You may not agree with everything the person is saying, and you have every right to stand up for yourself, but remember that being receptive to another persons feelings will get you much farther than shutting them down. Everyone wants to be heard, and an apology wouldn’t hurt either.

So next time conflict arises, don’t fuel the fire. Being right isn’t that important. Strong relationships and showing up as best you can means way more in the long run. Stay compassionate, and stay witchy ( *)