ThursdayThinks: Navigating Family Through the Holidays

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It’s no secret that family knows how to push your buttons. And when they’re all gathered in one place, asking you the same drilling questions or making remarks that are unfair, it could make you want to lash out, drink heavily, or leave.

During this holiday season, use these tips to navigate a family get-together in a peaceful,  copacetic way. It doesn’t have to be a disaster if you’re prepared!

  • Get a buddy- Ok so there’s at least one family member you ADORE right? Make it a point to stick with them, and minimize time with those family members you know will cause a headache.
  • Make yourself useful– Helping out in the kitchen not only makes you look good, but gives you an excuse to busy yourself when you don’t want to answer why you’re not married yet. Being of service to your family while staying out of pressuring conversations is a great way to navigate Thanksgiving dinner.
  • Write a script– If you know there are certain questions coming your way, be prepared with some stock answers so you can be polite, but also not feel overwhelmed.
  • Set boundaries– Following suit, find an exit strategy. When the questions get too drilling and you start to feel bad about yourself, find a way to politely and discreetly exit the conversation with a few things you’ve prepared, like “Oh, there’s Aunt Blanche, I haven’t said hello to her yet!” or “I should really help Dorothy in the kitchen,” or “Rose, I heard you remodeled, would you give me a tour!”
  • Be grateful you have them– This last one is the most important. It’s easy to get annoyed and overwhelmed by family, but the holidays are for being thankful that they exist in the first place. Yes, they might drive you a little nuts, but each one of them has contributed to your life in one way or another, and it would serve you to not only be patient, but grateful.

So, this holiday season, be merry, be prepared, and stay witchy ( *)

 

ThursdayThinks: Bringing Your Shadow to Light

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Shadow Work is work to be done in the murky depths of your soul, but one to be unjudged and untamed as you trudge through the trenches. It is very deep and emotional work, but once you get into it, you’ll see incredible results manifesting in your life!

Essentially, when you find certain behavior distasteful, it is because there is a piece of you that connects with it, and you’ve shunned it into your shadow. Disowning it. And at the most inopportune times, it will show up and wreak havoc.

So in order to tame the shame, we have to show our shadow some compassion. A way to recognize this is by doing the exercise below:

Watch a movie or TV show in which you absolutely hate a character and try to identify with them.

Sit with a piece of paper and make a log of every single behavior you have a reaction to, and try to dissect it.

Why does that face make you annoyed? Why does that response anger you? What is it inside you that reacts to their reaction?

Keep a log of this and try to identify with the negative, and when you’re done with the movie/ show, read your findings aloud. Reading aloud honors them and shows attention.

Read without judgement and acknowledge that this is a part of you.

Then, if you feel so inspired, start an inner dialogue, devoid of judgement, as to when these were cast to the shadows. Understanding your shadow is the best way to heal it.

Happy hunting, and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 10

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 10 is live! Here you’ll meet Lydia Georgantzi, a sweet young actress from Greece who practices self defense. If you’d like to follow up with Lydia you can find her on Facebook or Instagram!

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Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 6

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 6 is live! Here you’ll meet Nyeelah Lewis, a New York based event planner, who shares about her early family life, unhealthy relationships, and struggling with confrontation, all while raising children. If you’d like to follow up with Nyeelah you can find her on Instagram.


Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: How to Meditate

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Welcome to a new segment, witch babes!

Since the My Trending Stories series has come to a close, I decided to implement something very useful for my readers. Welcome to WednesdayWisdoms!

Today I’m going to teach you how to meditate, because it has helped me in incredible ways!

I usually do it from 2-5 minutes a day. It really helps to sit with your back up straight, and to set a timer on your phone so you aren’t focused on how much time is going by.

And from here you just focus on your breath! I try to imagine the air flowing through my nostrils, filling my lungs, and exhaling out of my body. Then I continue the cycle.

If your mind flows in and out of thoughts, don’t beat yourself up! This is why it’s a practice. But every time you feel your thoughts slipping away, return it to your breath. And pretty soon, you’ll find yourself in a calm space away from clutter.

Instead of picking up your phone first thing in the morning, set a timer. Or, instead of watching that last TV show before bed, get meditating to relax. It is super easy to fit in 2-5 minutes, I promise!

The benefits of meditation are vast, and help to cultivate a sense of peace. It creates this space in your brain you can return to when you experience anxiety, fear, depression, etc.

Make it a part of your daily practice and you’ll start seeing a difference in a few weeks.

Stay meditating and stay witchy ( *)

 

 

Energy is Input/ Output: Manifesting Your Fears

 

In the past, when I started to date someone new, I wouldn’t tell anyone about it in the beginning. I was terrified that it would end and I would look dumb for being excited. I originally put out into the universe that the relationship would fail.

Here I was bringing all of the anxiety of the Moon with me. The energy of my fears was more powerful than my excitement, so what manifested into reality? The fear, of course.

I was so married to the outcome that I just couldn’t enjoy the ride. As the Magician, who upright suggests careful planning and action, reversed displays a lack of direction. Because I was too focused on my fears and the “inevitable” fail (because at this point I didn’t think I deserved love) my anxieties would take the wheel and steer me off course. My lack of clarity and inability to pinpoint what I wanted and how to get it allowed my fears to push me over to the side and take center stage.

So if you are stuck in this place where you are constantly failing in relationships, try to look at your involvement in them. Are you putting out a palpable energy out into the universe, or constantly picking partners with an expiration date? If so, it’s time to switch gears and turn that Magician right side up. Stay witchy ( *)

Building A Case Without A Crime

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The Nine of Wands reversed denotes paranoia; a point at which you are using your own boundaries against yourself to create a cage. Instead of letting yourself experience and blossom, you are finding it hard to trust others because of your past experiences.

When you are hurt and you look back on the situation, whatever it may be, you’ll cherry pick the red flags and start to beat yourself up for having not noticed them before. Looking in retrospect, it’s totally obvious that this given scenario would blow up in your face.

Let’s take my last relationship, for example. This was a guy who never followed through on anything that he promised, always borrowed money from me, mooched off of me, disappeared in the bathroom for hours at a time, and couldn’t make it to important outings because he was too “sick.”

Looking back on that relationship, knowing what I know now, it’s super easy to see the patterns of a heroin addict. But as someone who was in love, and a person who was codependent, it took a lot longer to get out than I’d like to admit. And without shaming myself, there were actually many good times that I enjoyed. It was far from all bad, because if it was, it wouldn’t have gone on for so long and hurt so much. When we’re trying to prove a point to ourselves we forget the big picture. But I digress.

So in taking my experience and using the tools I gained through the work I’ve done internally, I can rectify some of my past behaviors within a new relationship. However, there is this sneaky little monster in the back of my head that wants to collect nuggets of evidence that stack up in my ex’s case to use against someone new. Not only is that wildly unfair, but it’s self sabotaging.

It is easy for me to sit back and create a world in which every guy that I date is no good because he did something like my ex did years ago. But that has no basis in reality. What that is doing is isolating myself from ever getting to feel true vulnerability and happiness. While I would love to sit here and say that I’ll never be a sucker again because I can predict the future, I can’t. You are innocent until proven guilty. The only difference is, I have many resources and a solid team to help me decide when something isn’t working for me anymore. I can show up fully and honestly, but when crossed, I can also leave respectfully and swiftly.

Giving someone new a chance after being badly burned is scary. But staying locked in a lonely bubble because you want to protect yourself is even scarier. Allow yourself the chance at love and happiness and stay witchy ( *)