Living Intentionally vs. Floating Aimlessly

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This concept was pretty revolutionary to me, because after digging around I found that floating aimlessly was triggering my anxiety and depression. I was trying to control while spiraling out of it, and it wasn’t until I started to live intentionally that I found direction. When I started to put an intention towards my actions, first small, then big, I started to feel a major shift in my energy and people’s reactions to it.

So what do I mean by this? Well, first, it’s important to find out what your core values are. Once you have uncovered what it is that you truly believe in, you can live your life in alignment with your values.

Is one of your values loyalty but you have a cheating boyfriend? Get rid of him. He doesn’t suit you and will only veer you off course. Do you believe highly in creativity, but are stuck in a cubicle answering phones? Get out there and find a job that challenges you. Live with INTENTION.

Now, living intentionally is not a means of control, but rather, pouring meaning into your actions. It’s living WITH purpose, instead of for it. It’s molding a life around your highest beliefs, and honoring them with follow through.

This can be done on a really small scale day to day as well. Is one of your values respect? Give your seat to an elderly man or woman on the train next time it’s packed. Do you have money anxiety but value abundance? Clean out your wallet and make it a sad haven for cash. The possibilities are endless, and the reason why most things tend to spiral out of control is because we simply aren’t paying true attention to them.

This new journey will make you feel like the Fool, just starting out on a whole new view of your world. But I promise, that once you exercise this daily and get it down pat, you’ll feel the victory and control of the Chariot. The world is an abundant and beautiful place, and it is time to reap the benefits. And it starts by living life with intention. Stay witchy, friends ( *)

When You’re Stuck in a Negative Energy Vacuum

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I have been in a situation that I will allude to cryptically, but it is not one I can easily walk away from. There are a lot of personalities that I’ve come across lately that include entitlement and plain disrespect, and it’s kind of turned my entire world upside down.

When faced with a barrage of negativity as a generally positive and peaceful person, I get affected. And lately I have started to question my core beliefs because of this. Is the universe echoing to me what I’m putting out? Is manifestation even real? How is it possible that I can let this get to me so completely?

Which is why this situation is affecting my world around me. I’m absorbing and regurgitating these bad juju’s and I’m having encounters with people that I’ve never had before. Negative, awful, run ins. When I thought I had reached the light at the end of the tunnel, I was dropped into quicksand. Everything is cycling around me and it’s hard to see past the spiral.

Before I go on, let me be clear, as an empath, I understand what being sensitive actually is. It is not being dramatic, it is not flipping out or being easily offended. It is exactly what it is defined as:

adjective quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences; (of a person or a person’s behavior) having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings.

Which is why, when I am disrespected, talked down to, and belittled, I get affected. No, it is not because I believe I am unworthy. I’ve been through that before and no one can tell me I am not good enough anymore. But it’s because I sense the place that the other person is coming from, and it is a point of pain and insecurity. It is a small and infantile energy that pokes and prods and I want nothing to do with it, yet I’m somehow confined to continue dealing with a toddler that keeps flipping the back of my neck.

So…

Which do you choose? The blue pill, or the red pill?

As a seeker of knowledge and truth, the red pill is not only attractive, it’s necessary for survival. I choose not to see a situation as an isolated interaction, but rather what it says about the entire environment. And because I choose to not live in ignorance, I have the power to step out of the matrix and redirect in a positive path.

I see the person who belittles as the small child that they are. Yes, it is annoying, but there is always a way out. It’s not my responsibility to parent the child, but it’s my responsibility to take care of myself. I ultimately can leave the playground if I choose to.

This involves Strength to see past the chaos of the Tower. Inevitably, the dissolution of this entire situation will bring more positivity than negativity, but it is up to me to dig myself out of the rubble. When something is not working, you either fix it, or accept that it is beyond repair.

So, witches, I have bad days too. I’ve had many in a row, actually. But I can get past them, and so can you, Stay strong, and stay witchy ( *)

 

WednesdayWisdoms: Dream Journaling


Do you have recurring dreams? Or do you just want some more insight into what your mind is trying to tell you?

Buy a pretty dream book and let’s get journaling!

I like to keep crystals and a dream journal on my night stand. I suggest that if you have recurring dreams you should, too. Having your dream journal handy when you wake up is essential for remembering what you dreamt.

Write down every single detail you can remember. Don’t worry about making sense of it now, just write it down.

Try to write a summary of the dream the best you can. Writing a storyline can also help you to figure out exactly what’s going on in there.

Once you’ve written down everything you can remember, I suggest just putting the book down until you have a weeks worth of dreams. Then the fun starts.

When you have a weeks worth, try to connect the dots. Is someone wearing a specific color? What do you associate that color with? Is someone saying something to you? What did they say? Can you see faces? Try to pick out themes from these observations.

Remember, dreams don’t have specific meanings. Your dream is like your own made up universe: you have created all of the language and metaphors. So if you look up in a dream book what a bridge means, it won’t mean the same thing to you, because that author hasn’t lived your life and collected your memories. This is an exercise in authenticity.

So what did you find? Did you explain some unexplainables? Or is there more exploring to do? If you need a helping hand and can’t figure out what your brain is trying to tell you, let me help you. Otherwise, keep journaling and stay witchy ( *)

When Not Engaging is the Best Self Defense




When someone is acting childish, hurling insults, and just plain not seeing your side of the story, it’s easy to get frustrated and argue in order to “win.”
But what are you actually gaining from this behavior? Is it really worth it to throw some insults back at them? Because that almost always ends in regret.

As we see in the Five of Wands, everyone is shouting to no avail. No one wins because everyone wants to. And at the end of the day, is it about winning? Or is it about being heard?

What we should remember, instead, is to take the high road and not engage. When you do this, you’re actually forcing the person to look at their outlandish behavior, and, generally, they will shrink up and scurry away. And if this is someone worth having a discussion with, they will return once they have calmed down.

Embody the Queen of Cups and turn to compassion over reaction. Politely disengage from the argument until the other party is ready to communicate effectively. Have control over your emotions and remember that “winning” is not the desired result. Rather, showing up honestly and gracefully is the goal.

So next time a significant other is throwing a temper tantrum, or an uptight boss has a meltdown, take the high road. Not engaging in their fit will force them to see how ridiculous their actions are, and nine times out of ten they will reflect and apologize. Stay grounded, and stay witchy ( *)

 

From Survivor to Thriver

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Since I have been hosting my podcast, I have asked my guests a final question that is always the same: When you look in the mirror today, who do you see?

And almost every single time they answer: a survivor.

All of my guests, and all of the women in the world, are survivors. At least to some degree, every woman has beat the odds to be in the position she is now. It’s an extraordinary thing.

But when I think of a survivor, I think of someone in tattered clothes with a burning wreckage behind them that they’ve just escaped. I think of a beautiful woman with a look of determination on her face as she walks away from the flames. She did it. She got out.

But how do we fast forward to a day where that same woman is prospering and showered?

Survivor–> Thriver.

Staying stuck in the parameters of a survivor is limiting. The memories of what you have survived are in the near past, and are still defining you as a human.

As the Chariot suggests, you have overcome an opposition. You are victorious. But now what?

To move in the direction of thriving, to feel the warmth, radiance, and abundance of the Sun, we need to heal and forgive. We need to put those memories behind us so we can move forward in our journey. We will never forget them, they are part of our story, but they no longer are the asterisk next to our name. They are at the very bottom of our Wikipedia page, below the many successes we have conquered due to the skills and knowledge we gained from those fateful tests.

We all move at our own pace towards thriving. It takes a long time to heal and reach forgiveness. But holding on to pain holds us back. Get thriving and stay witchy ( *)

When to Stay and When to Walk Away

When you turn around and see the Devil leering over your shoulder, it is time to get the fuck out. The chains of lust are not enough to keep you safe, and your safety is your main concern. To ignore him hiding in the bushes is denial, and he will inevitably bring you down. 

The Devil shows obsession. Codependency. Impulsiveness. All of the quick-fix-sick-personality traits that are meant to fill a void in our heart but never will. And when we couple the Devil with the Lovers, we tend to care for our partner in a seemingly selfless way, but actually one which is purely selfish. They are the air we breathe, and we need to give them anything we have to keep them enabling our sickness. 

When the relationship is toxic, and it generally is when it’s foundation is codependent, when do we know for ourselves when to stay and when to walk away? 

I think realistically, one never knows concretely, black and white, when to walk away. It is not going to be written on a sign, in a textbook, or in a blog. Rather, it is a feeling in the gut, through your blood and rattling your bones. It is more than a decision on paper; it is a matter of life or death. To ignore our bodies responses to something toxic is spiritually irresponsible. 

When I was in my toxic relationship, riddled with (rightful and deserved) paranoia and sick feelings, I ignored it. I shoved it down way deep inside because it was far more important to hear the words “I love you,” than to take responsibility for where I was in that time. I would have rather been an empty shell than alone. That was the state of the matter. 

In fact, I knew I had to walk away. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was not only that I felt trapped in the matter, but I also didn’t want to leave. I was comfortable in tragedy. I felt at home in despair. Crying was my normal. 

It’s easier said than done to extract yourself and have an out-of-body experience that pulls you out of the unnecessary nonsense. To realize that melancholy isn’t the end all be all. But the sadness is your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. I invite you to look at the ratio of bliss to sorrow. Make a list of pros and cons. And don’t cheat yourself; make an honest list. Your spirit will thank you. Stay witchy ( *) 

Standing By Your Shit

 

The Moon symbolizes fears and illusions within the subconscious. A lot of the times these fears will come up in interpersonal relationships, because if you critique yourself too harshly, more often than not you will project these illusions on other people. Judgement and shame will do that to a person.

Living with shame is not the way anyone wants to go about their life, and yet, it is all too common. Shame is consuming, and it’s a by-product of people pleasing. When we go around trying to depict a perfect version of ourselves to others, rather than living in authenticity, we usually do it in the avoidance of shame. We all have pasts, some more sorted than others, and we need to stand by our shit in order to maintain our truth.

Standing by your shit is important because it comes from valuing yourself and your accomplishments. It means that you are secure in who you are and what you do, because you have the ability to forgive yourself and also to congratulate yourself.

Strength plays a key role here. And inner strength works across the board: in forgiving yourself for your past, accepting yourself in your present, and trusting yourself in your future. These tasks are not easy, but they are vital for growth. And, darlin, it takes strength to grow.

Looking in the mirror and automatically loving ourselves doesn’t come so easy to most of us. But standing by your shit, recognizing that it isn’t all pretty, and giving yourself permission to have a past as a human is humbling and strong. So stand up, be strong, and stay witchy ( *)