WednesdayWisdoms: Self-Forgiveness Ritual

img_2631On Monday, we spoke about forgiveness and spirituality when it comes to trauma. But instead of focusing on forgiving who harmed us, I think it’s more important that we forgive ourselves for the emotions we feel as we go through the healing process. It was not the clothes you were wearing, how much you drank, what you said, or how you said it. Abuse is abuse, and nothing will change until we make that abundantly clear.


So, to promote SELF- forgiveness, I’ve concocted a special ritual for victims of abuse (sexual or otherwise.) I think it will help to stimulate growth and strength.

Be well and be strong, for you are a survivor.


  • Black Salt
  • Rose Quartz (for unconditional love)
  • Rose incense or Sage
  • A journal
  • White Candle
  • A water basin
  • A mirror



Use sage or incense to purify the area. If you wish, smudge in a pentagram formation to call in the elements to help you through this. Also, use the smoke to cleanse your rose quartz of unwanted energy.

Sit in a comfortable position on the floor, with your white candle in front of you. This signifies purity. Sprinkle the black salt completely around you in a circle for protection, light the candle, and take out the journal.

Write down everything you can remember about your assault. I know this is difficult, but in a clear and objective manner, write down what happened. If you start to cry, it’s ok. Just feel through the emotions. Once you are done. Fold the piece of paper in half away from you and set it down,

Stare into the blue light of the flame and call in it’s power. Call in it’s passion and will for survival. Stare into the blue flame until you, yourself, become hot.

Take your piece of paper and set it over the flame, watching it burn as the memory becomes part of your past, and not who you are as a person. Before the flame grows out of control, throw it in the water basin.

Take the mirror, and stare into your eyes. Find the deepest part of you, and repeat three times:

“My body is merely a vessel, and no harm can come to my soul unless I allow it. I call in strength, power, and forgiveness to propel me forward into healing.”

Then put the mirror down, hold the rose quartz to your heart’s center, and imagine a pink light emanating from the stone and connecting with your heart. Imagine it slowly enveloping you in it’s radiance, and chant “forgiveness” as it grows.

Sit in meditation with this illuminating light for as long as it feels comfortable, and when you are ready, snuff out the candle, thank the elements, and break the circle.

I hope this proves to open the gate of healing for you. Stay witchy ( *)


From Survivor to Thriver


Since I have been hosting my podcast, I have asked my guests a final question that is always the same: When you look in the mirror today, who do you see?

And almost every single time they answer: a survivor.

All of my guests, and all of the women in the world, are survivors. At least to some degree, every woman has beat the odds to be in the position she is now. It’s an extraordinary thing.

But when I think of a survivor, I think of someone in tattered clothes with a burning wreckage behind them that they’ve just escaped. I think of a beautiful woman with a look of determination on her face as she walks away from the flames. She did it. She got out.

But how do we fast forward to a day where that same woman is prospering and showered?

Survivor–> Thriver.

Staying stuck in the parameters of a survivor is limiting. The memories of what you have survived are in the near past, and are still defining you as a human.

As the Chariot suggests, you have overcome an opposition. You are victorious. But now what?

To move in the direction of thriving, to feel the warmth, radiance, and abundance of the Sun, we need to heal and forgive. We need to put those memories behind us so we can move forward in our journey. We will never forget them, they are part of our story, but they no longer are the asterisk next to our name. They are at the very bottom of our Wikipedia page, below the many successes we have conquered due to the skills and knowledge we gained from those fateful tests.

We all move at our own pace towards thriving. It takes a long time to heal and reach forgiveness. But holding on to pain holds us back. Get thriving and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 3


Episode 3 is live! Here you’ll meet Kia Graves, a New York based producer, actor, and writer, who shares about her rape trauma and journey through healing as a single mother. If you’d like to follow up with Kia you can find her on Instagram, Facebook, and through Mountain Moving Studio.

Kia Graves Headshot