Surrender isn’t Losing

thehangedmantarot

The Hanged Man can suggest that it is finally time to let go. And I don’t know of a word people are more afraid of than surrender.

When I first walked into the rooms of various support groups, I used to cringe at this word. And they throw it around A LOT. See, in my head, as a struggling perfectionist, surrender looked like waiving the white flag because you gave up. Because you were going to lose. And I wasn’t ready to live with that connotation.

However, surrender is quite a powerful idea. No, this is not a theme of war and tragedy, but rather relinquishing the tight reigns of control. You see, when you try to control outside forces that you just cannot, you are hurting yourself by obsessing. And when you surrender, you free yourself from that obsession, because you’ve given it up to something bigger than yourself.

And something bigger than yourself can be anything really. God, Goddess, energy, light, your kitchen sink. The point is that you have a metaphorical symbol to give your control over to. It helps to visualize. It helps to personify. It helps make it easier.

So when you think about surrender, don’t demonize it and make it weak. Because there are not many things in this world harder than realizing you can’t control everything. But when you accept this fact and practice this act of freedom, you will feel the weight of the world lift from your shoulders. Stay mindful of your control, and stay witchy ( *)

Grief

MG3Swords

To bereave quite literally means to deprive or to rob. Anyone who has dealt with grief will know that this is exactly how one feels. Robbed.

Be it a death, a divorce, the loss of a job, really anything that a person can become saddened by, we all have our own ways in which we grieve.

Some cry, some don’t. Some want to be alone, while others choose to be around loved ones. What is important is that when we grieve, we do it in a healthy manner.

Support can come in all different forms. If you don’t know what to say to a grieving person, that’s just fine. Grieving can be awkward for those not involved. But dancing around the subject of loss, rather than being present and accepting that you have no idea what to say, can actually harm the relationship you are trying to preserve.

The truth is, nothing will make a situation better. There is no magic wand to wave and “fix” reality. To best support a grieving person, offer a kind word, a hug, or even a smile. Let the person know that they can come to you for a chat if they want to. That they are in your thoughts.

Grief is never fun. But it is a necessary vehicle towards healing. The grief never really goes away, but it lessens over time. When you are a friend trying to help, you can always do so by just being there.

Stay supportive and stay witchy ( *)

Finding Your Tribe

four-ofwands-fenestra-tarot

The Four of Wands signifies celebration, harmony, and community. It represents the completion of a milestone and the festivities to follow.

This is a very positive card, and exists when things are in full balance. This card exists with a basis of a strong community, i.e. your tribe.

Finding your core people can take a lifetime. Many people will come in and out of your life on a daily basis, but finding those that support you, help you grow, and love you for all that you are is no easy task. When you find these people, you hold on to them dearly.

I am fortunate enough to have quite a few core people in my life. Some people come into your life only when you are ready for them. Some people appear when you need them. But the appreciation for their friendship comes with maturity. I had to burn some bridges to figure that out. I, unfortunately, learn things the hard way. That meant a few lost friends along the way.

Through spiritual growth, I met some very strong women and appreciate them for the qualities they possessed. They inspire me. And the overwhelming support I have received through my many ups and downs in life has been unparalleled. I am very fortunate to have such an amazing tribe. Stay appreciative and stay witchy ( *)