Manifestation vs. The Need to Control

In my early manifestation days, I ran into a lot of blocks wondering where the object of my desire would come from. Where am I supposed to get this cash flow? Where will I meet my soul mate? Maybe if I do this, or play the lottery, or stay at this bar later, everything will work out because I’M making it happen.

Well, boo boo, I was certainly wrong.

When you try to co-create with the universe, control is like using Google maps to a destination you’ve been to before. It takes you totally out of the way, and if you just had a little faith, you’d get there a lot quicker.

The need for control is very common. It helps us feel like we’re DOING something. But you can actually take action without controlling an outcome. You can move forward, be determined in your goal, and let the universe do the rest. It’s called surrender. And when you just get the hell out of your own way, the magic starts to happen.

Surrender feels the most impossible when you feel out of control. As the Chariot reversed suggests, worrying about that which is out of your hands can only lead to blockages. It is time to let go and let God (or universe.) Because when you start questioning the universe, it says, “Forget it, you do it then,” and watches you struggle from a distance.

You know how everything, up until now, has worked out? You know the feeling of the Four of Wands? One of harmony and completion? Even if it was fleeting? That is the universe doing it’s work. Don’t fight it, and don’t try to work against it. I know things in life pop up constantly, and it gets frustrating and tiring, and we feel like if we don’t make moves we are utterly powerless, but it’s actually quite simple: just show up, do what you gotta do, and let the universe take care of the rest. Cutting in front of the universe and trying to one up it doesn’t hep you AT ALL.

And I’m not saying don’t do your taxes and hope the universe takes care of it. No. Do what you gotta in life. But don’t question. Don’t worry. Surrender to the fact that this will all work out, and stay witchy ( *)

Reaching Out vs. Attention Seeking

img_3108As someone who previously felt shame in asking for help, I have a lot of experience in this area.

I used to think that if I couldn’t conquer something on my own, I was a failure. And not even just day to day tasks. In fact, I would internalize my emotional problems to the point of many sicknesses, because I thought that if I needed help dealing, I was crazy.

This, in turn, manifested in a lot of “acting out.” Crying when drunk, doing a bunch of drugs, easy sex, the list goes on. I was seeking attention because I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.

But here’s the secret: Asking for help isn’t shameful. Everyone needs help at some point in their life.

And now, that’s why I do what I do. I help those in need. I help rectify bad judgement and steer clients away from dangerous behavior. Because that was me.

So, are you acting as the Knight of Swords reversed? Acting out in a hasty and impulsive manner? Are you noticing that you are creating drama in order to get noticed? Is it because you can’t ask for help and are hoping these outlandish behaviors will force you into it? Is that really easier?

Or are you so ashamed that you’d rather impose your own isolation, as in the Four of Cups? Is there so much guilt involved in whatever you need help with, that you’d rather vanish all together?

I’ll say it again,  because it needs to be written in stone. Asking for help ISN’T SHAMEFUL.  It is actually an act of courage. It means you’d rather not walk around the subject in tragic circles, and instead point directly at the problem. It means that you are willing to stand up for yourself and do whatever it takes. It means there is too much bullshit in the world for you to create more that doesn’t need to be there. It means you’re a fighter.

So, if this speaks to you at all, I’m calling on you to reach out. Pick up the phone, and call a friend and talk. Spill your guts out and have a conversation about whatever is bothering you. This is not your cross to bear, and friends are there to listen. Friends don’t want you to struggle alone. And hopefully your friend can point you in the right direction for the help you need. And if that happens to be a life coach, you know where to find me. Stay witchy ( *)

 

 

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 11

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 11 is live! Here you’ll meet Catarina Carlson, a very old friend of mine who sheds some beautiful light and insight on loss and love. If you’d like to follow up with Cat you can follow her on Instagram ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Positive Reframing

Today we’re going to practice an essential skill for life in general, but more specifically, those really tough times.

Like mentioned in the previous blog post, it can be really difficult to look at the positive in trying times. But that is why we have a tool called positive reframing.

Positive reframing takes your current situation, asks you to look at it with an objective viewpoint, and then find the positive amongst the difficult. If you are going through it right now, ask yourself some of the questions below and see if you come out with a new outlook.

  1. How will this make me stronger?’
  2. What can I learn from this?
  3. How can I best show up in this situation to have it align with my values?
  4. What are the benefits?

I know it’s difficult, and what we really want to do is wrap ourself up in our pity blanket, but if you practice positive reframing on a daily basis, you will literally change the way you brain works! You are actively programming your brain to focus on the positive. And it will get easier the more you practice.

Get positive, and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 7

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Episode 7 is live! Here you’ll meet Alma Golemi, an international student who shares about her struggles with balancing work and school, all while facing a language barrier. If you’d like to follow up with Alma you can find her on Instagram.

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Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 6

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 6 is live! Here you’ll meet Nyeelah Lewis, a New York based event planner, who shares about her early family life, unhealthy relationships, and struggling with confrontation, all while raising children. If you’d like to follow up with Nyeelah you can find her on Instagram.


Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)