37777199_10157749527189498_7220090107636744192_nAriella Upton is a solitary eclectic witch who was raised by a Christian kitchen witch. She has a wealth of knowledge about herbs, crystals, natural remedies, gardening, history, religion and is currently studying astrology. She works as a PA & manager on Maui, and spends her free time with her magickal family in the forests and beaches they call home. Her shop is on Instagram as @the.celestial.rose where she sells jewelry, artesian smudge sticks, antiques, books and more.


Ahh, Venus, how we adore you!  She rules over our relationships, our concept of beauty, our love style and everything we associate with being “nice” in our opinions.  So what do we do now that Venus is in Scorpio? Do we bang anything that moves? Do we cut out everything unpleasent in our lives? Do we change how and who we love completely?

I recently had a discussion about this shift with another astrology-curious friend, and I mentioned to her that since Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, which is associated with sex, death and transformation, that many things ruled by Venus would be experiencing these shifts.  

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Like what?  Well, all relationships are a matter of Venus because she shows us how we display affection and appreciation.  You may find old friendships, lovers or maybe even a long-term relationship is no longer aligned with your life.  Scorpio is working in your life to transform you from tolerating your existing paradigm to THRIVING. The old relationships that were waiting to crumble will likely be expedited by this Scorpion energy, and you may find it intolerable to associate with these people who need to GTFO of your life.  Let them go in peace, as they are probably experiencing a similar perspective shift about you.

It can be a painful time, and though these people are not physically dead, it may still incite a period of greiving of what has been lost, and that is totally ok.  Greive for the loss, go through the stages, but MOST IMPORTANTLY you must heal and become better than you were before. Don’t bother dumping toxic relationships if you are just going to find new ones.  Have the courage to listen to your intuition and act accordingly from now on.

Venus is also associated with our self-worth, ability to earn and even jewelry or fine clothes.  Positioned in Scorpio, she helps us to reconcile our sexualities and material worth by aligning to what truly feels right and good for our highter selves.  Scorpio is a pretty intense energy, and you are not going to win over her insistence to transform. Allow yourself the space and compassion to eliminate the old baggage weighing you down, which in turn will leave more room for the things we love and are truly passionate about (hey-o, Venus!)  This may include a physical purging of things taking up space in your home… might be a good time to have a garage sale or donate your unwanted goods to a charity/thrift store. It can also bring about questioning your self-worth… maybe you don’t charge enough for your goods and services. Maybe you don’t accept praise without doubt.  Whatever is holding you back is getting chucked; just do it!

 

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Welcome back to the WAYIYJ Podcast!!!

Season 3, Episode 7 is live!

I’m coming to you today with Rachael Maddox, Sexual Trauma Resolution educator and healer, to talk about healing with integrity! We discuss how your niche calls to you in unforeseen ways, where trauma hides in the body, and being a Secret Bad Girl.

Find her on:

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

Theme song by Cody Valentine

Season 2 Episode 7

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Season 2, Episode 7 is live! In this interview, I get acquainted with Rhian Kivits! In this episode, we get intimate and talk about S E X. Find her on Instagram, Facebook, or on her website!

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

Theme song by Gramatik

Eliminating Shame from Sexuality

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When there is shame surrounding a topic, it takes something that should be beautiful and makes it seedy. It strips away all of the magic. It creates a dark air around it. And this is just as true for sex as any other taboo subject.

So, what can we do to eliminate the shame surrounding sex? How can we embrace our sexuality and live as sacred sexual beings day to day? Follow these tips to replace shame with confidence:

  1. Watch porn that suits you: 
    • A lot of the reason why people feel shame around sex is because they can’t relate themselves to feeling sexy. It’s almost as if it’s off limits because they subconsciously can’t see themselves as deserving. If this is part of your problem, I suggest watching porn with people that look like you that do what you like. There is so much on the internet with people of all colors, sexual preferences, body types, etc, that empowers the art of pleasure on every conceivable level. Watching realistic porn, instead of overly aggressive porn-star-porn, might help to add an inclusionary ideal to your own sex life.
  2. When appropriate, talk about it:
    • There’s nothing that takes the air out of a shame-tire like plain old words. Start talking about sex freely. Ask your girlfriends what their experiences are like. Ask your partner what they enjoy between the sheets. Open the dialogue and ask questions. Secrets are the main food source for shame, so take away it’s meal plan and start talking about it!
  3. Masterbate:
    • Getting acquainted with your body and learning what sets you on fire is a great way to eliminate shame. Our bodies are wired to react a certain way to stimulation. It’s natural! So learn what get’s you off and be proud of it!
  4. Confront what makes you uncomfortable: 
    • Do you shudder when you hear the word “vagina?” Do you want to run and hide at the idea of anal? What makes you want to duck for cover? Start taking note of your reactions to sex-related things and then do your research. I find that the more educated you are on a subject, the more comfortable you’ll feel about it.
  5. Allow yourself to feel sexy:
    • Dressing sexy is a big thing for me. I feel empowered when I can flaunt my sexuality and own it. However, that may be too bold for some. In that case, there are a myriad of more subtle approaches. Wear a new shade of lipstick, challenge yourself to wear a pair of heels, or sport some lingerie under your jeans and t-shirt. There are many undercover ways to embrace your inner goddess, and implementing them into your daily life will start to push shame out of the way.

Follow these tips at your own pace and you will start to see a shift from guilt to acceptance. Sex is a natural and beautiful thing, and as long as you do it with respect and consent, there is nothing to be ashamed of! Get your sexy on and stay witchy ( *)

Great Sexpectations (and the Shame Game)

When we’re talking about something as taboo as sex, we (as a society) tend to get a little uncomfortable. When we include shame in the dialogue, things get thrust into the shadows and we can’t celebrate our kinks. And what fun is that??

As a major proponent for open communication, I think it is equally as important in the bedroom as anywhere else. There is a 50/ 50 chance that your first time with a partner won’t be mind blowing, and that’s ok! True intimacy is a deep knowing of another, and that comes with time, and, plainly, opening your mouth (no pun intended.)

It is much more of a process for women to orgasm than men, and because of a conditioned shame towards sex and pleasure throughout our lives, some of us find it hard to communicate to our partner exactly what gets us going. Instead of empowering ourselves sexually, we’ll get in our heads and predict that it’s going to be “weird” to talk about, and then we live in an unfulfilled romance. We just expect things to get better magically, without thinking that you have to put forth some effort for the magic to happen.

To be honest, I am appalled that there are still women who fake orgasms. You’re not only doing yourself a wild injustice, but your partner is going to falsely walk around thinking they’re the shit. And every subsequent partner they have is going to fall victim to super disappointing sex. That’s just poor community service.

Instead, channel the Queen of Cups and gently express your pointers. Just as there are women who have shame surrounding the mere fact that they can’t get off easily, men have shame surrounding the fact that they aren’t Casanova straight out of the womb. By effectively communicating, you and your partner (whether it’s a one night stand or a ten year marriage) can have an incredibly connected experience. You’re both dedicating the time, so why not do it right?

The Two of Cups represents a point of intimacy that is unified. It takes two to tango, so why not be all inclusive? Your partner isn’t feeling the same sensations that you are, so clue them in. Talk them through it, and listen to what they have to say as well. When you are supplying pleasure for each other, there becomes a circulation of energy that is out of this freaking world, and sex becomes so much better than you could ever imagine.

Have you ever been lying underneath someone as they were tediously plowing away and all you could do was think about all of the laundry that was piling up in your closet? Well, consciously or not, your partner receives that message that you aren’t present. So one person is doing all of the work (poorly) and the end result is lackluster and boring. If you took initiative and consciously created a safe space where you two could be open, communicative, and wild,  you could reap the benefits of an incredibly cosmic experience. Don’t commit yourself to a life of bad sex; you deserve all of the pleasure in the world. Speak up and stay witchy ( *)

 

WednesdayWisdoms: Break Out of the Breakup

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Breaking up is hard to do, but with these simple tactics, you can get through it so much easier.

Earlier this week I talked about why letting go of heartbreak is so hard, and today I have some tips to ease the pain, including a special invite to my Masterclass starting next Tuesday.

  1. CRYING:
    • This tip is my favorite, because I am a BIG crier. Honestly, I believe that crying, no matter what triggered the tears, helps to wash away what is really bothering you. So, if you can’t cry on cue, I suggest turning on a sad movie, or even a really sad song. Anything that will get you going. Because I promise, you will not stop once you start.
  2. Kickboxing or any other physical activity:
    • If you are angry as fuck, there is nothing better than punching or kicking something. Even running or HIIT works too. Anything to get your body moving, heart pumping, and that negative energy out. Put on some empowering lady music, like Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter,” and get moving!
  3. Meditation:
    • This is a great tip regardless of if you’re going through a breakup or not. Meditation helps to clear a space in your brain, free from anxiety and safe from his name. This practice is a vacation from your sadness and worry. And it doesn’t have to be super traditional, either! Guided meditations from Simple Habit help to focus on someones voice. I like listening to white noise machines that play heavy rain. You can even listen to music and focus on the notes, which also helps to heal your heart chakra. There are plenty of ways to meditate that will suit your needs.
  4. Stop Obsessing (aka BLOCK)
    • This tip is essential, guys. Even if you broke up months ago, if you keep checking his/ her Facebook or Instagram to see if they’re dating someone yet, you’re obsessing. That space, that energy, that you’re using to think about him/ her, could be used to focus on yourself. So, just do yourself a favor and block. It doesn’t have to be with malicious intent, you’re just doing it for your own protection.
  5. Understand frequencies
    • When two people vibrate at the same frequency, an attraction forms. And when the attraction is strong, they form a relationship. Over time, people’s frequencies change. Sometimes for the better, or worse. It just depends on the direction of their growth. When this happens in a parallel motion, the relationship is sustained. However, when the frequencies are mismatched, there is a break in the relationship. And this is a GOOD THING. If you’ve outgrown your partner because you are vibrating at a higher frequency, then great! Appreciate what that person has given you, and move forward. And if you are the one that has been outgrown, take this gift from the universe and use it to focus on yourself. These are both blessings.
  6. Enroll in my workshop
    • Last, but not least, I want to invite my loyal blog readers to the Masterclass I am hosting for the month of August. From August 1st – 31st, join a Facebook group, led by me and my friend Rachel Spencer, with rituals, affirmations, journal exercises, and support from fellow women with heartbreak. Learn more about the class here and register via the link at the bottom.

Heartbreak is hard, I know, but these tips will make it easier. Be well, and I hope to see you all in August. Stay witchy ( *)