Balancing Your Shadow Self With Your Outward Self

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Your true desires are often carried out by impulses, which don’t think of the big picture. Acting in this way lands you in hot water, and then scars you because you’re afraid to take another leap. So, what do we do to take careful steps around achieving what our shadow self wants the most for us? See the examples below on how to achieve balance.

Family

  • The desire: To have a path of clear communication and understanding in your family.
  • The impulse: To snap at a family member when you don’t think they understand you
  • Why that doesn’t work: Fighting a misunderstanding with a lack of compassion of your own is counter-productive.
  • The solution: When you’re sensing an escalation of sorts, try to understand from their side by asking questions. Approach the situation in a well rounded manner, and ask that they do the same for you. Set boundaries around what you will allow into your life, cut a conversation short if nothing is being achieved, then revisit later.

Work

  • The desire: To make more money, get a promotion, and flourish in your position.
  • The impulse: To take any and all extra work to prove that you can get it all done.
  • Why that doesn’t work: Overloading yourself will almost always mean that you are spreading yourself too thin. You work will not be as thorough as if you only took on what you could actually handle, and you run the risk of burning out.
  • The solution: Only accept what you can physically handle. Knowing your limits commands respect, and so does quality work.

Relationships

  • The desire: To have a happy and healthy relationship.
  • The impulse: To choose the first person who pays attention to you.
  • Why that doesn’t work: An ideal mate is not just anyone. You have to consult a careful observation before jumping into something serious.
  • The solution: Create a list of values your mate must have and do not make excuses. If loyalty is a value, don’t make excuses for him texting another girl, just because he’s also texting you. These values are non-negotiable. This approach takes time, and you deserve to be with someone who not only respects you, but is who you truly desire.

These examples are obviously not one-size-fits-all, but they are good jumping off points to consider when we act impulsively. It is hard to be patient, but that is essential for us to live our ideal life. Patience and discipline will lead to a high reward from the universe. Channel the desires of your shadow self in a healthy way, and stay witchy ( *)

Letting Go of Heartbreak

When love ends, there is always an undeniable hurt.

Even if you’re the one doing the ending, there is still an unshakable sadness. On the one hand, you don’t have the person around that you spent so much time with anymore. and on the other, there’s just plain disappointment.

I think the biggest reason why we hold onto this sadness and heartbreak, is because we were so attached to the hope that this person could be the “one.” And whether it came as a surprise because you were broken up with, or you sat with the decision to make the break, it’s never an easy reality to come to.

And that’s the thing that makes heartbreak so gut-wrenching. Because our society puts so much pressure on us to find that one special person to be with forever, when you end a relationship, it almost feels like failure. Like you’ll never attain your fairy tale. Because of an attachment to the outcome and what it means for you.

But when you look more closely, objectively, at the state of the relationship, you can start to make sense of why it ended in the first place. Do you want to live in something that clearly isn’t working, just for the sake of not being alone? Or, even, to prove that you did what you were supposed to do?

Consider The Lovers, who signify an alignment of values. What I’ve come to learn in my short life, is that, over time, peoples values change. And if your values are not running parallel with your lover’s any longer, it is time to sever the ties.

In fact, it’s time to embody the Fool. With whimsy and hope, it is time to embark on a new journey to find a soul with a new alignment of values. It’s time to let go of what is no longer serving you and to find what will for however long that lasts.

Love and heartbreak are difficult to navigate because of the emotional investment. But when you recognize that staying with someone who isn’t right for you isn’t helping anyone, it may be the push you need to finally let go. Take care of your heart, and stay witchy ( *)

Intimacy…?

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“The Devil is a passionate, hedonistic and lust-filled card indicating great sex but where there is something amiss. The relationship may be bordering on the side of obsession or it has become angst-ridden. You might also be involved with someone who is not fully available to you, yet you keep going back for more.” Biddy Tarot