WednesdayWisdoms: Break Out of the Breakup

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Breaking up is hard to do, but with these simple tactics, you can get through it so much easier.

Earlier this week I talked about why letting go of heartbreak is so hard, and today I have some tips to ease the pain, including a special invite to my Masterclass starting next Tuesday.

  1. CRYING:
    • This tip is my favorite, because I am a BIG crier. Honestly, I believe that crying, no matter what triggered the tears, helps to wash away what is really bothering you. So, if you can’t cry on cue, I suggest turning on a sad movie, or even a really sad song. Anything that will get you going. Because I promise, you will not stop once you start.
  2. Kickboxing or any other physical activity:
    • If you are angry as fuck, there is nothing better than punching or kicking something. Even running or HIIT works too. Anything to get your body moving, heart pumping, and that negative energy out. Put on some empowering lady music, like Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter,” and get moving!
  3. Meditation:
    • This is a great tip regardless of if you’re going through a breakup or not. Meditation helps to clear a space in your brain, free from anxiety and safe from his name. This practice is a vacation from your sadness and worry. And it doesn’t have to be super traditional, either! Guided meditations from Simple Habit help to focus on someones voice. I like listening to white noise machines that play heavy rain. You can even listen to music and focus on the notes, which also helps to heal your heart chakra. There are plenty of ways to meditate that will suit your needs.
  4. Stop Obsessing (aka BLOCK)
    • This tip is essential, guys. Even if you broke up months ago, if you keep checking his/ her Facebook or Instagram to see if they’re dating someone yet, you’re obsessing. That space, that energy, that you’re using to think about him/ her, could be used to focus on yourself. So, just do yourself a favor and block. It doesn’t have to be with malicious intent, you’re just doing it for your own protection.
  5. Understand frequencies
    • When two people vibrate at the same frequency, an attraction forms. And when the attraction is strong, they form a relationship. Over time, people’s frequencies change. Sometimes for the better, or worse. It just depends on the direction of their growth. When this happens in a parallel motion, the relationship is sustained. However, when the frequencies are mismatched, there is a break in the relationship. And this is a GOOD THING. If you’ve outgrown your partner because you are vibrating at a higher frequency, then great! Appreciate what that person has given you, and move forward. And if you are the one that has been outgrown, take this gift from the universe and use it to focus on yourself. These are both blessings.
  6. Enroll in my workshop
    • Last, but not least, I want to invite my loyal blog readers to the Masterclass I am hosting for the month of August. From August 1st – 31st, join a Facebook group, led by me and my friend Rachel Spencer, with rituals, affirmations, journal exercises, and support from fellow women with heartbreak. Learn more about the class here and register via the link at the bottom.

Heartbreak is hard, I know, but these tips will make it easier. Be well, and I hope to see you all in August. Stay witchy ( *)

Why Your Sexual Fruit is Sacred, but There’s No Shame in Sharing Some of the Juice 


My relationship with sex has been a complicated one. It must have started out with the pressure of losing my virginity, because I slept with a boyfriend of four days “just to get it over with.” This kind of set the pace for devaluing my body, and I didn’t even know the power and sacredness of my sexuality.

It also didn’t help that I caught that boyfriend cheating on me with his neighbor. This incident created a haphazard idea of sex. That it just didn’t matter.

The road became more and more cluttered when I realized that I so desperately wanted, NEEDED, male attention. I was craving love of any kind, so I would drunkenly throw myself at men and then become puzzled as to why they weren’t in love with me. Like, why isn’t this like in the movies???

Further down the line, I would try to pretend that my unsuccessful tactics, and the inevitable outcomes, didn’t bother me. I was just going to Samantha Jones myself through life and hope someone respected me along the way. But sex or not, I didn’t respect myself. See whats wrong with this picture?

Then, as you know, I was raped. What a freakin doozey that was in my sexual landscape. That turned everything upside down, flipped it, and reversed it (thanks Missy.) Now fear was a factor. How was I supposed to land a man if I couldn’t let him touch me?

And lo and behold, who is there to pop up? But my infamous ex. I felt comfortable around him, got drunk, and took him home on the first night. He stayed for the next three days. And rather than questioning if he should be at his job, I let our insecurities click and the rest is history.

So all of this leading up to my turning point was synonymous with the message of The Devil. I was ruled by obsession and trauma, rather than intuition, respect, and just plain logic. I gave away the whole fruit and couldn’t satisfy myself.

Nowadays it’s a whole different ballgame. I have done the work and thoroughly respect my body, but let’s be honest, we all need a little pleasure in our lives. I do not want a relationship right now, but I’m not above a hookup. The difference here is that I understand what I want, I communicate effectively with a potential partner, we are both 100% consenting, and there is no grey area of sadness and depression.

The Lovers describes a union and an alignment of values. That is the important part, and what I was missing the whole time. Trying to drunkenly (and half-assededly I might add) seduce a man into loving me and then cry when he doesn’t is idiotic. Being up front about what you need in a partner and seeing if your values align gives you a choice, and if you choose to give your body over to someone who doesn’t want what you want, you’re putting yourself in a compromising position. You’re setting yourself up for hurt. And to do it over and over and over again expecting different results is insane. You gotta revolutionize your sexy little world to find that happiness. Cuz it’s hiding on the other side of the bed.

Sex might be a plush display of love in a steamy relationship, or a taboo icon that is used for selling t-shirts and hamburgers, but it is also a necessary way of life. Sex is sacred, yes, but it is also fun and pleasurable and NATURAL. You don’t have to wear a chastity belt for the rest of your life in order to protect yourself. You just have to get to the root of your needs. If your needs consist of a sweet and quick release, then by all means sugar, get yours (while staying safe.) And if your needs consist of a relationship, get to dating! Communicate that you are looking for a partner and don’t settle for less. You can’t change his mind with sex. It has never happened and never will. Align your values before you get busy.

So sex wisely, my kittens. You’re worthy of a good time. Just be sure you protect your heart first, and stay witchy ( *)

My Trending Stories

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Hi Witches!

I’m starting to switch gears a bit here. I’m looking to change up my posting schedule with the addition of my podcast and the new project I’m working on for My Trending Stories. As I have been regularly posting three times a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, and will continue to do so, I will be adjusting some blog posts to allow myself more freedom to pursue my new projects (and potential clients!)

So looking forward, you’ll be seeing my traditional blog posts appearing on Mondays, an upload of my new project (coming next week!) on My Trending Stories on Wednesdays, and the Podcast appearing in the feed on Saturdays.

So, that being said, I have posted a link to my page with all of the fictional stories on My Trending Stories that I have written so far. Please enjoy and get ready for a new set of writings that I just know you’ll enjoy! Stay witchy ( *)

Fictional Pieces on MTS ( *)

Why My Mother Means So Much to Me

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In honor of my mothers birthday today, I’d like to explore the ups and downs of a mother-daughter relationship. Such a unique bond is special, and whether you weren’t, aren’t, were or are close with your mother, this is a story I think we can all appreciate.

My mother and I have had quite a ride together. I was always searching for attention and affection, and through my teenage years that kind of behavior turned destructive. I was not your typical teenager, with changing hormones and training bras. I was all of that, but I was also a drug addict suffering from depression.

My relationship with my mother at this time tore apart at the seams. And of course it did. I was crying out for help because of psychological disorders, but instead of accepting the help when it was offered, I ran into the arms of a drug dealer and decided to worsen the problem.

From the first sign of trouble, my mother brought me to a psychologist. I was deep into a punk rock phase at the time, rich with music and creating fashion, but I was horribly sad. I walked into the doctors office and immediately hated this woman because she couldn’t possibly understand me. She made me do this exercise where I was supposed to guess what the potted plants behind me looked like and I rolled my eyes so hard that I gave myself a headache. I told my mom I didn’t want to go back. She said OK, and we talked.

My mom always tried to talk to me. She always extended her arms. But I just wasn’t having it. I liked to isolate and I found solace in drugs. Not shortly after that first therapy session, I found cocaine. Which turned to meth. Which turned to complete and utter destruction.

I was extremely young when I found drugs. And I am not blaming my teenage self for how I acted. I was a child from 13-17 who was totally lost.

I sure as hell don’t blame my mother. She tried with all of her compassionate and motherly might to help me. But what do you do with a wild animal who is constantly getting arrested? I sure as hell don’t know.

So through all of this, as soon as she saw some light in my eyes at the beginning of my recovery, she was right there. She was also there to pick me up from jail and to bring me to court appointments, but when I came home from being kicked out with real sincerity in my eyes, I had my mother back.

She let me sleep in her bed when I went through withdrawals. She supported me in every way that she could. But even after being clean, I just kept getting into trouble.

At some point, it was time to take responsibility for myself and get my shit together. Getting older and getting through college gave me some wisdom enough to do that. But even still, as I’m sure you’ve gathered from previous posts, it was not all rosey.

I put a heavy strain on my relationship with my mother. I have accepted full responsibility for that. At the time I was convinced that it was because she didn’t love me enough and that I had terrible parents. But now, knowing about that symptom of codependency that breeds manipulation and projection, it is clear to see that she loved me more than anything. It was me who didn’t love me.

When I first left for New York, I had my shit pretty tight. I saved up 10 grand to move, I graduated college, I set up an apartment in the city. Things were looking up. That was really my new beginning, and boy has it been a journey. But what the real amazing part was how much my relationship with my mother strengthened.

As I started to find myself, little rays of self love started to shine through. Anger turned into forgiveness. Blame turned into accountability. And hate into love and appreciation. I started to call my mother every day. I started to listen to her advice. I started to hear the compassion in her words that was always there, but ignored by self sabotage.

When she came to visit me when I was still with my then-boyfriend, we had more fun together then we ever had. And when I took her to Grand Central, my favorite site in NYC, we sat under that beautiful, sea green astrological mural and had one of the most important conversations of our relationship.

She asked me if I used to hate her.

We both started crying. I mean, how could a mother think her daughter hated her. And to the best of my ability at the time, I tried to explain that I’m sure I thought I did, but who I really hated was myself. We hugged, dried our eyes, and realized that we had crossed a threshold into a real bond. We were in an adult mother-daughter relationship.

I call my mother every day. She is the single most important woman in my life. And while I still stand by the fact that we aren’t the best roommates, I would never trade that I am able to stay so close in contact with her even though I am 3,000 miles away.

Boundaries and respect are important in any relationship. And once we were able (or I was willing) to do that for us, we have become closer than ever. She is the epitome of the Empress in my eyes. Happy birthday mom, stay witchy ( *)