Letting Go of Heartbreak

When love ends, there is always an undeniable hurt.

Even if you’re the one doing the ending, there is still an unshakable sadness. On the one hand, you don’t have the person around that you spent so much time with anymore. and on the other, there’s just plain disappointment.

I think the biggest reason why we hold onto this sadness and heartbreak, is because we were so attached to the hope that this person could be the “one.” And whether it came as a surprise because you were broken up with, or you sat with the decision to make the break, it’s never an easy reality to come to.

And that’s the thing that makes heartbreak so gut-wrenching. Because our society puts so much pressure on us to find that one special person to be with forever, when you end a relationship, it almost feels like failure. Like you’ll never attain your fairy tale. Because of an attachment to the outcome and what it means for you.

But when you look more closely, objectively, at the state of the relationship, you can start to make sense of why it ended in the first place. Do you want to live in something that clearly isn’t working, just for the sake of not being alone? Or, even, to prove that you did what you were supposed to do?

Consider The Lovers, who signify an alignment of values. What I’ve come to learn in my short life, is that, over time, peoples values change. And if your values are not running parallel with your lover’s any longer, it is time to sever the ties.

In fact, it’s time to embody the Fool. With whimsy and hope, it is time to embark on a new journey to find a soul with a new alignment of values. It’s time to let go of what is no longer serving you and to find what will for however long that lasts.

Love and heartbreak are difficult to navigate because of the emotional investment. But when you recognize that staying with someone who isn’t right for you isn’t helping anyone, it may be the push you need to finally let go. Take care of your heart, and stay witchy ( *)

When to Stay and When to Walk Away

When you turn around and see the Devil leering over your shoulder, it is time to get the fuck out. The chains of lust are not enough to keep you safe, and your safety is your main concern. To ignore him hiding in the bushes is denial, and he will inevitably bring you down. 

The Devil shows obsession. Codependency. Impulsiveness. All of the quick-fix-sick-personality traits that are meant to fill a void in our heart but never will. And when we couple the Devil with the Lovers, we tend to care for our partner in a seemingly selfless way, but actually one which is purely selfish. They are the air we breathe, and we need to give them anything we have to keep them enabling our sickness. 

When the relationship is toxic, and it generally is when it’s foundation is codependent, when do we know for ourselves when to stay and when to walk away? 

I think realistically, one never knows concretely, black and white, when to walk away. It is not going to be written on a sign, in a textbook, or in a blog. Rather, it is a feeling in the gut, through your blood and rattling your bones. It is more than a decision on paper; it is a matter of life or death. To ignore our bodies responses to something toxic is spiritually irresponsible. 

When I was in my toxic relationship, riddled with (rightful and deserved) paranoia and sick feelings, I ignored it. I shoved it down way deep inside because it was far more important to hear the words “I love you,” than to take responsibility for where I was in that time. I would have rather been an empty shell than alone. That was the state of the matter. 

In fact, I knew I had to walk away. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was not only that I felt trapped in the matter, but I also didn’t want to leave. I was comfortable in tragedy. I felt at home in despair. Crying was my normal. 

It’s easier said than done to extract yourself and have an out-of-body experience that pulls you out of the unnecessary nonsense. To realize that melancholy isn’t the end all be all. But the sadness is your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. I invite you to look at the ratio of bliss to sorrow. Make a list of pros and cons. And don’t cheat yourself; make an honest list. Your spirit will thank you. Stay witchy ( *) 

Tales From My Bedroom Floor: Volume 3, The Drunk

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Volume 3 is now up on My Trending Stories! Go read here:  https://mytrendingstories.com/article/tales-from-my-bedroom-floor-volume-3-the-drunk/

In this six part series, I go through times that were pivotal in collecting my personal and detrimental belief system, all while crying on my bedroom floor.

And if you like my writing so far, please share and comment. I’m working on a new and long term project and would really like some feedback on my writing style. Thanks ya’ll and stay witchy ( *)

Intimacy…?

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“The Devil is a passionate, hedonistic and lust-filled card indicating great sex but where there is something amiss. The relationship may be bordering on the side of obsession or it has become angst-ridden. You might also be involved with someone who is not fully available to you, yet you keep going back for more.” Biddy Tarot