Sadness is the Anti-Pheromone

Brought to you by an epiphany during my latest vacation home, here is a break down of the power of sadness:

Let me tell you, from pure experience, that sadness and desperation is a stench. It’s an obvious aura that is just plain freaking unattractive. Harsh, right?

Well in simple terms, your inside dictates your outside. When you feel sad and need constant validation that you are worthy of love, your actions will mimic this feeling. Your unintentional belief that you are not enough will cause this obvious energy that no one (except for two kinds of people) will flock to.

Who are they? Let’s look at exhibit A: The Sick Girls (aka the Pack)

Like attracts like, and when your idea of yourself is something sad and invaluable, you will most likely fall into a group of negative girls that think the same thing about themselves. Together you’ll harness all of this sick, negative energy, and then direct it outwards to people who don’t deserve it. You will be giving out a direct reflection of yourself onto innocent bystanders. The attraction of these kinds of girls is involuntary; it’s almost as if you all smelled the same scent on each other to know you are the same species.

And then there is exhibit B: The Unattainable Man (aka the Predator)

This is a man who would love to sleep with you during a one night stand and then never answer a text. And lets unpack this real quick, because I am an EXPERT in this area. First off, when you are sloppy drunk and looking to cut corners in love by grabbing the first guy to give you a side eye and taking him home, you are not only completely ignoring quality, but you aren’t valuing yourself and what you deserve. This, might I add, is completely different than doing it on your own terms and knowing exactly what you’re getting into (i.e. NOT LOVE.) And, when you can’t get the guy off of your mind because he paid you the tiniest bit of what you crave and you start to send drunk texts as a half assed approach to show interest, that becomes a turn off unless the man is clinical. He may reciprocate to get what he wants, but he unconsciously knows you don’t value yourself, so why the hell should he?

Let me put it to you this way, if someone was following you around, desperately texting and calling in order to get a sliver of attention, and assuming you’re of somewhat sound mind, you’d find that to be a bit of a turn off, right?

So, here you can see that while you’d like to paint the picture of the Queen of Wands, your inner Nine of Swords is far more noticeable than your flimsy facade. That inner turmoil, anxiety, and desperation for love and attention is a sneaky snitch. Your body language, actions, and energy will always rat you out when you aren’t willing to.

However, I think that if this is something you’re experiencing regularly, you have been given the gift of a pattern. You have the ability to notice the pattern, and therefore the ability to CHANGE the pattern.

Play some role reversal, here. Do you want a man of quality, with a real sense of self and a sense of respect? Or do you want a drunk crying blob that you have to take care of in order to get a few nights of sloppy sex?

Ru says it best ladies: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gunna love somebody else?”

Can I get an amen up in here??

So, to not end on a depressing note, remember that everything starts with YOU. You want the man, the good job, and the fabulous life? Well, you have to start small. Take tiny steps to remind yourself that you are worthy of it. It won’t feel genuine at first, because of years of conditioning, but you must fake it till you make it baby. Look yourself dead in the eye in the mirror and say “I love you.” And one day you’ll wake up and believe it.

And PLEASE don’t cut corners. Sleeping with a stranger one drunken night does not a relationship make. You have to put in the work. You can’t just hop into bed and expect to fall in love. It just doesn’t work that way. Standards, boundaries, and plain old self love are the keys here. And if you don’t have any standards yet, stay tuned for the exercise on Wednesday. Remember that you are loved, you are worthy, and to always stay witchy ( *)

Taking Vacations

Hello witches! This week I am on V A C A T I O N *****

My little sister graduated so we went to watch her walk the stage in Northern California, have road-tripped down to Vegas (where I am currently) and will be heading back to my home town of little old Los Angeles on Wednesday for a few days.

Currently, I am embracing the Nine of Pentacles by enjoying the fruits of my labor. I have been working my buns off and now it is time to enjoy some fun in the sun 🙂

The Three of Cups is all about celebration and community, and being around my family has all of my wishes fulfilled. It’s hard to live so far away from them, but it makes the time we have together so much more special.

I hope you are all enjoying your summer. Stay witchy ( *) !!

WednesdayWisdoms: Reigniting the Fire

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In order to find our Starchild again, we have to do some soul searching. My go-to is journaling, because it lays down all of my thoughts on paper and I am able to see clearly what my jumbled brain is trying to tell me.

For this week’s exercise, you’re going to journal about your young life:

  1. Write your biography from when your active memory starts to about grade school. Describe yourself and the stories you have from childhood.
  2. Then re-write it, keeping your self and your personality in tact, but changing the situations and relationships you wish you could.
  3. Take all of the situations that you wish could have been different, write them down on a separate piece of paper, and forgive them. Burn them. Let them go. They may have had a hand in shaping your belief system, but it is time to release them now. They do not serve you, nor do they control you.
  4. Do something this week that you would do when you were five. Go to a magic show, roll around on the grass, sing at the top of your lungs, whatever sets your young heart on fire.

 

Live young, live free, and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: What Are You Grateful For?

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It is easy for us to say that we are grateful for everything we have, but what does that mean? What is everything?

If we wrap up all of the intricacies into one term labeled “everything,” we minimize some of the most important aspects in our lives. So for this weeks practice, we’re going to make a list.

I want you to start out with a list of twenty things that you are grateful for. I know that sounds like a daunting number, but once you get flowing you’ll realize you have so much you never accounted for! You can start with some big ones: the fact that you’re alive, your family, that you have two legs (if you do) just to get the ball rolling. Then, slowly, get more and more personal. Is there someone in your life that makes it better? Is there a particular family heirloom that makes you smile every morning? Do you possess a skill or trait that makes your world a better place?

I wrote my list above. Look it over and see if it brings you inspiration. Then write yours out. REALLY set time aside for it. And when you’re done, post it somewhere you will see everyday. Above the kitchen sink or bathroom mirror. Somewhere super visible. Post it with a mala or your favorite crystal. Bring some light and energy into it. The more emphasis you place on this list, and the more reminders that you have to be grateful, the less space you will have in your heart for the negative.

And you are highly encouraged to KEEP ADDING! If you think of something new to be grateful for, pop that bad boy of the list and watch it add some more shine. Sprinkle it with glitter. Kiss it with lipstick. Love that list because it makes your world great.

Stay grateful, and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 5

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 5 is live! Today I have a guest who has chosen to be anonymous. She helps to shed some light on being in an image based industry, struggles with weight as a child, and plastic surgery.

Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 4

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 4 is live! I’m coming to you solo today to talk about the podcast, a short version of my journey, and overall witchiness.

 

Listen below and subscribe on iTunes!

 

Energy is Input/ Output: Manifesting Your Fears

 

In the past, when I started to date someone new, I wouldn’t tell anyone about it in the beginning. I was terrified that it would end and I would look dumb for being excited. I originally put out into the universe that the relationship would fail.

Here I was bringing all of the anxiety of the Moon with me. The energy of my fears was more powerful than my excitement, so what manifested into reality? The fear, of course.

I was so married to the outcome that I just couldn’t enjoy the ride. As the Magician, who upright suggests careful planning and action, reversed displays a lack of direction. Because I was too focused on my fears and the “inevitable” fail (because at this point I didn’t think I deserved love) my anxieties would take the wheel and steer me off course. My lack of clarity and inability to pinpoint what I wanted and how to get it allowed my fears to push me over to the side and take center stage.

So if you are stuck in this place where you are constantly failing in relationships, try to look at your involvement in them. Are you putting out a palpable energy out into the universe, or constantly picking partners with an expiration date? If so, it’s time to switch gears and turn that Magician right side up. Stay witchy ( *)