WednesdayWisdoms: Taking it Easy

For all my high achievers out there, I know it is hard to take some time to relax and enjoy yourselves. I know we can’t all go on expensive vacations around the world, but we can at least dedicate a few hours to ourselves out of our week to take it easy.

This week, I want you to pick one day and block off a few hours. Do a mud mask. Take a bath. Workout and then meditate. Watch Orange is the New Black. Any activity you want, but just be sure to dedicate it to yourself, sans interruptions. You deserve to kick back, so carve out the time! It is possible. I promise.

Set out a schedule of your week and see what you can move around to make it happen. Can you do laundry after work one day in order to free up some time on Sunday? Do it. Make time for yourself and structure your week accordingly. Your soul will thank you.

Stay mindful of your own time, and stay witchy ( *)

Victimhood vs. Vulnerability

It is a very important distinction to make between an act that serves us versus an act that alienates us. One that I’d like to point out today is the difference between being vulnerable and being a victim.

If you’re feeling beaten down, as with the Ten of Swords, there is a clear cut choice to make here. You can sit with outward blame and project the betrayal on others, a lá victimhood, or you can choose to be vulnerable, take responsibility, and heal.

Well what does all of that mean?

Vulnerability takes Strength. No only does it takes courage to feel your emotions authentically, but to let someone in that you trust can be outright scary! But this is the exact reason why talk therapy, 12 step programs, and life coaching alike work; they all require a degree of vulnerability and sharing to release some of the inside pressure in order to move on. Being vulnerable means taking responsibility for your emotions and dealing with them in a constructive manner. Being vulnerable means loving yourself enough to let your feelings out before they bubble up to the surface.

On the flip-side, being a victim requires no bravery whatsoever. In fact, victimhood kind of embodies this melting figure into a bubbling pool of liquid for me. When you’re a “victim,” you’re accepting no personal responsibility for your feelings.

This is not to say that all victims have control over the reason for their grief or trauma. Not by a long shot. But EVERYONE has the power to heal. When something terrible happens to you, like an attack or a death or a fire, that is not your fault, and I am not insinuating that it is. However, your response to those occurrences are all under your control. You can grieve, pick yourself up from your boot straps, and move on through your life, or you can sit there and say woe is me and never get anything done.

And to be extremely frank, being around a victim is SO BORING. Sitting next to someone who can’t stop complaining about how awful their life is and how things keep happening TO them is such a yawn. It is a huge turnoff.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret…

You have complete control over your life. Facing a stream of setbacks with grace and vulnerability will only serve you in the long run. And projecting blame will only make your life seem terrible to you and everyone around you.

RuPaul said it best, “Life is hard if you do, and life is hard if you don’t.” Any which way you slice it, life is gunna throw things your way. But building character and creating a world in which you are the supreme ruler takes guts, moxie, and is all well worth it.

Get vulnerable, feel all your feelings, and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You in Your Journey: Episode 12

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Episode 12 is live! In this short, solo episode I do a quick wrap-up, highlighting key themes and similarities between my interviewees this season. I won’t be returning the podcast until September, so until then you can find archived posts here. I’m dedicating this summer to focus my attention on my clients and my upcoming book, so in the meantime, stay witchy ( *)

Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

Recurring Dreams


I get asked about recurring dreams all the time. I even used to struggle with them myself. But the funny thing about recurring dreams, or dreams in general, is that they are just metaphorical manifestations of our greatest fears and hopes.

One reader wrote to me recently that she often dreamt of a “frail, depressed girl” who was constantly out of reach. She kept trying to grab and help her, but the girl kept slipping away. And every time she woke up, she was frightened.

I asked her a few questions about her upbringing, and she had faced some neglect in her life. I asked her if she knew how to care for herself and give herself the attention she deserved, and she said not really. Then I asked her if the little girl in the dream could be her, and she didn’t know how to respond.

After she came to the realization that she so desperately wanted to save herself, but did’t know how, she started a healing process. You see, our dreams force our unconsciousness into light. It is in a cryptic, somewhat creepy manner, but it’s enough to grab our attention and make us curious.

The Moon illustrates fears and anxieties coming up from our subconscious. Sometimes we don’t know what is buried there, nor are we willing to uncover it. But let me tell you, if it wants to be heard, it will be.

In this instance you must embody the Fool. You must embark on this journey to find the pain that is plaguing you. And if it is so unconscious that you need help to discover what it is, I am always only an email away.

Get dreaming, and stay witchy ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 11

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Episode 11 is live! Here you’ll meet Catarina Carlson, a very old friend of mine who sheds some beautiful light and insight on loss and love. If you’d like to follow up with Cat you can follow her on Instagram ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Positive Reframing

Today we’re going to practice an essential skill for life in general, but more specifically, those really tough times.

Like mentioned in the previous blog post, it can be really difficult to look at the positive in trying times. But that is why we have a tool called positive reframing.

Positive reframing takes your current situation, asks you to look at it with an objective viewpoint, and then find the positive amongst the difficult. If you are going through it right now, ask yourself some of the questions below and see if you come out with a new outlook.

  1. How will this make me stronger?’
  2. What can I learn from this?
  3. How can I best show up in this situation to have it align with my values?
  4. What are the benefits?

I know it’s difficult, and what we really want to do is wrap ourself up in our pity blanket, but if you practice positive reframing on a daily basis, you will literally change the way you brain works! You are actively programming your brain to focus on the positive. And it will get easier the more you practice.

Get positive, and stay witchy ( *)

What to Do When it All Falls Apart


Life happens. And sometimes, it is really, really shitty.

You know the saying, when it rains, it pours? Well, like many of you, I have experienced a hail storm.

So what are we supposed to do when it all falls apart? How do we keep it together when everywhere we turn there’s a new tragedy right in front of us?

The Tower represents a sudden upheaval. It shows chaos and turmoil. The eye of the storm. But what it also represents is nature’s order. There must be a rough pattern of weather before clear skies; you must push through the challenge to reach the other side.

If you’ve experienced death, then lost your job, then broke up with your boyfriend, then got kicked out of your apartment, you sure as shit know how tough life can be. But what if I told you the MOST challenging part of this journey is not the actual occurrence of the tragedy or setback, but the acceptance of it?

We fight so hard against just accepting the reality of a situation and it throws us into this dark, twisted fantasy land that we can’t escape from. If we just cried, got out the sadness, picked ourselves up from our bootstraps and moved forward, we would be one step closer to freedom. We would be moving out of the storm.

I mean, how much easier would finding a new apartment or job be if we just got real with ourselves and stopped wishing things were different?

The Sun reversed shows you are finding it difficult to see the positive. And trust me, I get it. You want to scream and cry and just give up because its all just TOO MUCH. And maybe the positive isn’t necessary, at least not right now. Maybe just the reality is enough. But it is imperative that you get a grip on what’s happening in order to survive this literal shit storm.

If you’ve lost someone near to you, grieve. Grieve authentically. Reach for support and talk it out. The acceptance will come naturally when you allow yourself to move through the stages. If you broke up with someone, grieve that too! Let it out, move to acceptance, and then get back on that horse. Man-shop on Bumble to distract yourself. Let the other person go so you can heal and focus on growing. Lost your job or apartment? Get on Craigslist. Take active steps to finding a new place to flourish. Listen, at the end of the day, you got this. The universe doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. It is not a cruel overlord. It is a teacher.

So when it all just seems to be way too much, give yourself a minute to cry. Cry hard. Cry from your gut. And then pick yourself up and take action to heal and to re-situate.  Make a list. Write down each struggle individually and journal about it. Tackle everything separately to organize your thoughts and emotions. Nothing is impossible. You just need the right tools. Stay strong and stay witchy ( *)