Tag: lifestyle

WednesdayWisdoms: Eclipse Season Survival Guide

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This eclipse season is INTENSE witches!

With the full moon eclipse in Aquarius and the upcoming solar eclipse in Leo, we’re headed for an emotional and full throttle ride.

Since I had no post on Monday, I’ve decided to just craft a mini-survival guide for the next couple weeks, in lieu of a self help exercise according to the topic of the week.

Within all of this big big energy, we’re going to encounter three major things that will throw us for a loop. Here they are and how to keep your head on straight through it!

  1. Feeling vulnerable: 
    • This eclipse season is going to crack your soul open in a deep way. This may leave you feeling unsafe or scared. Just remember to not shrink up. Change is amazing and transformative, and the epiphanies at this time can help to lead you on a new and vibrant path. Use your judgement and proceed with caution in your day to day, and remember to be gentle with yourself, but ultimately embrace the tide.
  2. Acceleration: 
    • Life is MOVIN ladies! Quickly, I might add. In the face of a fast pace, I suggest taking a step back. Take things slowly, carefully, and deliberately. Try not to get swept up in anxiety and make impulsive moves that may land you in hot water. There is always time to breathe.
  3. Confusion:
    • With a period of night and day becoming one, there is a lot of confusion running about this season. A great way to find clarity is to journal journal journal. If you use a notepad to structure your thoughts, you will find more ease in your days. This is a great time for regular meditation as well.

All in all, I wouldn’t go into eclipse season feeling afraid. Just prepare yourself with the right tools and stay cognizant of why certain feelings may be coming up. Stay level headed and stay witchy ( *)

 

WednesdayWisdoms: How to Reach Out

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It’s hard to reach out to friends or family when you feel guilt or shame surrounding your situation. Those kinds of self-inflicted emotions can hinder your ability to speak up and reach out for the help you need.

So today I’m going to move, step by step, through how to pick up the phone:

  1. Notice your habits:
    • Make a journal or a list of things you tend to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed or down. Do you notice what your go-to actions are? Are you keeping a drinking log of how much you drink and when? Are you sleeping until 1pm instead of getting up at 8 and running like you used to? Has the small bag of chips turned into the family sized bag? What is falling off balance, and why? Is there a reason?
  2. Imagine your best friend called you for the same reason, and play out what you’d say in your head:
    • Would you judge him/ her? Would you scold them? Or would you be kind, loving, and supportive? Chances are, your phone call will go exactly the same way.
  3. Use the 5 second rule:
    • Feel the urge to call? Need help? Don’t give yourself more than five seconds to think about it. Literally count down to 5, and on 1, dial. If it is over 5 seconds, the brain will automatically start to create excuses. This tip is courtesy of miss Mel Robbins 🙂
  4. Reciprocity:
    • Friendships, the real good ones, are not one-sided and hollow. They are deep, nurturing, and loving. If you develop the kind of friendship that serves as a sacred safe space, you will always have support in your time of need. That means when your friend needs a pick me up, you’re there like you want them to be there for you. Being able to cultivate a friendship where you both lift each other up is priceless.

Don’t be afraid witchies. Reaching out is more rewarding than scary. It takes courage, but I know you’ve got that in spades. Get bold, and stay witchy ( *)

Reaching Out vs. Attention Seeking

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img_3108As someone who previously felt shame in asking for help, I have a lot of experience in this area.

I used to think that if I couldn’t conquer something on my own, I was a failure. And not even just day to day tasks. In fact, I would internalize my emotional problems to the point of many sicknesses, because I thought that if I needed help dealing, I was crazy.

This, in turn, manifested in a lot of “acting out.” Crying when drunk, doing a bunch of drugs, easy sex, the list goes on. I was seeking attention because I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.

But here’s the secret: Asking for help isn’t shameful. Everyone needs help at some point in their life.

And now, that’s why I do what I do. I help those in need. I help rectify bad judgement and steer clients away from dangerous behavior. Because that was me.

So, are you acting as the Knight of Swords reversed? Acting out in a hasty and impulsive manner? Are you noticing that you are creating drama in order to get noticed? Is it because you can’t ask for help and are hoping these outlandish behaviors will force you into it? Is that really easier?

Or are you so ashamed that you’d rather impose your own isolation, as in the Four of Cups? Is there so much guilt involved in whatever you need help with, that you’d rather vanish all together?

I’ll say it again,  because it needs to be written in stone. Asking for help ISN’T SHAMEFUL.  It is actually an act of courage. It means you’d rather not walk around the subject in tragic circles, and instead point directly at the problem. It means that you are willing to stand up for yourself and do whatever it takes. It means there is too much bullshit in the world for you to create more that doesn’t need to be there. It means you’re a fighter.

So, if this speaks to you at all, I’m calling on you to reach out. Pick up the phone, and call a friend and talk. Spill your guts out and have a conversation about whatever is bothering you. This is not your cross to bear, and friends are there to listen. Friends don’t want you to struggle alone. And hopefully your friend can point you in the right direction for the help you need. And if that happens to be a life coach, you know where to find me. Stay witchy ( *)

 

 

Letting Go of Heartbreak

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When love ends, there is always an undeniable hurt.

Even if you’re the one doing the ending, there is still an unshakable sadness. On the one hand, you don’t have the person around that you spent so much time with anymore. and on the other, there’s just plain disappointment.

I think the biggest reason why we hold onto this sadness and heartbreak, is because we were so attached to the hope that this person could be the “one.” And whether it came as a surprise because you were broken up with, or you sat with the decision to make the break, it’s never an easy reality to come to.

And that’s the thing that makes heartbreak so gut-wrenching. Because our society puts so much pressure on us to find that one special person to be with forever, when you end a relationship, it almost feels like failure. Like you’ll never attain your fairy tale. Because of an attachment to the outcome and what it means for you.

But when you look more closely, objectively, at the state of the relationship, you can start to make sense of why it ended in the first place. Do you want to live in something that clearly isn’t working, just for the sake of not being alone? Or, even, to prove that you did what you were supposed to do?

Consider The Lovers, who signify an alignment of values. What I’ve come to learn in my short life, is that, over time, peoples values change. And if your values are not running parallel with your lover’s any longer, it is time to sever the ties.

In fact, it’s time to embody the Fool. With whimsy and hope, it is time to embark on a new journey to find a soul with a new alignment of values. It’s time to let go of what is no longer serving you and to find what will for however long that lasts.

Love and heartbreak are difficult to navigate because of the emotional investment. But when you recognize that staying with someone who isn’t right for you isn’t helping anyone, it may be the push you need to finally let go. Take care of your heart, and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Crafting a Baseline Routine

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Brought to you by a small bout of anxiety and depression, here is your WednesdayWisdoms exercise for the week!

Last post I fessed up about over-doing it on vacation and the spiral it led me down as a result. And under further investigation, I found that it is because I’ve strayed from my baseline routine.

There are certain things in everyone’s life that bring them joy and order. And when you abandon all of that for a certain length of time, you begin to float around in a sea of worry, not really realizing where you are in the ocean. And that’s because you pulled up your anchor.

Now the beauty of that, is that once you realize you’ve been floating aimlessly and that’s why you feel like shit, you can always drop anchor again! Now, what makes your anchor so sturdy?

For me, if I don’t have a steady diet, exercise, and meditation, I will go nuts. I will literally run off of the rails. And it’s very easily explainable. I don’t have proper nutrients to fuel my body, so I’m tired and feel gross, which means I don’t exercise. If I don’t exercise, I don’t get any endorphins, so I’m unhappy. And when I don’t meditate, I don’t clear a space in my head for my thoughts to pass through and it all becomes a screaming mess.

There are additional things, too. Like if I go too long without listening to an uplifting podcast (What’s the Tee with RuPaul and Michelle Visage and Your Kick Ass Life with Andrea Owen are my faves) or singing at the top of my lungs, I peter out as well.

So this week, I want you to observe your routine. What is it that maintains balance in your life? Is the morning cup of coffee from your Keurig an absolute staple? What about midday yoga? A certain TV show before you fall asleep? What brings happiness and order into your life?

Start naming these things and hold them at the highest importance. These are your new non-negotiables. No clients before coffee. No emails once you’ve turned on Golden Girls. Do not let these snippets of joy be compromised by anyone or anything. They are your baseline. They are your anchor.

So next time you feel an energy shift, do a check in with your routine. Have you been neglecting the things that provide order and happiness? Keep it together and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Dealing with a Dictator

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Are you dealing with a high strung manager that won’t get off your back? Try these tips to keep yourself sane under all of the harsh treatment.

1. Remember that they are under A LOT of pressure.

Most likely, if your manager is coming down on you hard for something, it is because they are under direct order to do so. Their delivery might be harsh, because they aren’t too versed in how to communicate, but they are only doing their job. This understanding might help you to just let it go.

2. Breathe

It is really easy to fire back with a response, start to tear up, or shake with anger (whatever your chosen method is) when faced with someone who is a condescending prick. But if you remember to take three deep, long inhales before responding, and slightly meditate on, or at least remind yourself of, the first tip, the whole world starts to feel bigger than just that interaction.

3. Just say yes

This was a huge one for me to learn. I love to have a comeback and an answer, but in all honesty, you need to save yourself the exhaustion. Just agree with your boss. If it’s a deadline that you can’t possibly make because of all of your other work, then speak up in a polite manner, but if it’s anything trivial, just say yes. You don’t even have to do it (haha don’t tell them I told you that.) Sometimes, bosses just need to say something to remind themselves they are the boss. And if you just nod in agreement, they’ll walk away feeling great and you can go on doing your job as well as you always do.

4. Remember the BIG picture

Are you truly happy at this job, despite your boss? Do you like your coworkers, the work you produce, and your hours? Is the pay good? Is the commute worth it? Think of this tip like you think of finding an ideal mate. Tick off all of the must haves, the “great if it did” haves, and the “could do without”s. Is this job meeting your standards? Or are you convincing yourself that you’re happy because you don’t know anything else? Ask the big questions before continuing to put up with a sour asshole who’s bad at communication.

I hope these help you in your future work endeavors. Working for someone else is not easy, but neither is owning a business. Neither is sitting still forever. It all takes work. Just remember to ask yourself what will make you the most happy. Stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Standards, What?!

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To continue this weeks theme of creating standards and boundaries in love in order to reinforce the positive beliefs in yourself, we’re going to do some writing exercises and watch some movies.

First, pick three movies or tv shows in which you absolutely adore one of the characters romantically and make a profile for each one. Write a list of pros and cons for each character and from there, we’ll pick out the things you’d like to look for in a potential mate.

For example, if Mr. Big is your type, you need to create a list for what you find so attractive and be HONEST. If his womanizing ways turn you on, we need to explore that and find out why. For the most part, we need to dismantle old, unconscious beliefs before we create new and healthy ones.

If you love his sense of fashion, or that he finally stepped up in the end, then write that down too. Your pros and cons are subjective, but each quality needs to be explored.

So for each of the three characters, write three qualities in each column. Notice any overlaps. Try to find out what something seemingly negative or unhealthy lights your fire. Get CURIOUS.

This might come to a bit of a shock, because this is perhaps the first time you’ve even looked at why you’re attracted to certain kinds of men. And it might be scary, but remember that the future hasn’t happened yet, and you have the ability to change it! Stay aware and stay witchy ( *)