What is a “Calling” and Do I Have One?

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The Fool symbolizes the beginning of a journey. A bright, shiny-eyed fellow who is setting forth on a path that is completely and utterly new. One with purpose and one full of lessons to be learned. He is all of us.

If you’re a young, ambitious individual, it’s not surprising that you might have been faced with the question “What is my life purpose?” The insurmountable pressure of having one thing you were set on earth to do. What it’s all for.

Nietzsche has a quote: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” And I think that surmises what we are all looking for. A reason to muscle through the cold, lonely days of our journey. Not to be mistaken for love, because we know that is not a completion of our circle, but rather the addition of one in the form of a bond. No, this is a personal “why.” This is what we dream of when we are little girls and little boys. This is the “why” that made Mother Teresa run homes for the diseased. This is the “why” that made Jonas Salk invent the Polio vaccine. “Why” Elie Wiesel took his horrific experiences in Auschwitz and turned them into inspiring stories and a Nobel Peace Prize.

Now not everyone can run to Uganda and cure Zika. Although if we all sought out to cure diseases that would be pretty kick ass. We can’t all write Grammy winning albums or star in Oscar winning roles. We can’t all write best sellers and we can’t all win the Fields Medal. But everyday we have choices to make, and making the right ones are indicative of our purpose.

See, I think that if we all strive to make conscious decisions that feel right and true within our sphere of authenticity, our purpose will be handed to us on a silver platter. In fact, I think that is the purpose in it of itself. Instead of having one solid concrete thing that we must stick to for the rest of our lives, which seems to be more of a shackle than a path to greatness, at every turn we are given an opportunity to think with conviction and at that time our purpose is highlighted. Our purpose morphs and bends to the person we are at that very moment, and if self respect and self love are things that you practice regularly, that authentic light will shine through. That purpose, that pattern, that character, that will be the guide in your journey. That will be your “why.” It’s what is inside you.

When I got the help I needed and put into practice all of the tools that I gained from my support, I slowly started to make conscious decisions that benefited me and felt right and true to my core. No longer did I have a gaping hole of panic in me. I was sticking up for myself. And through the trail of conviction, though not always perfect, I started to find seeds of what was hidden beneath the wreckage. I listened to myself and felt called to start writing. And although I don’t put the pressure on myself to say that this is it for me forever, right now it feels true. And that’s what the journey is all about.

So if you’re getting down on yourself for not having it all figured out, well let me tell you something: No one does. Not even Oprah.

But what people like her do that is so inspirational is that they seize every opportunity authentically. That’s the calling. And if we all have the capacity to be authentic, we all have a life purpose. Live true to yours and stay witchy ( *)

 

When is Passing Judgement Conducive to Your Life?

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No one likes to be labeled as judgmental. In fact, in a world of shaming and prejudice, it is an extremely frowned upon characteristic to hold.

But…

We need to utilize judgement in our daily practice in order to keep our covens strong and weed out the bad magic in our lives.

For example, when I see someone who is surrounded by drug use, I become hyper aware. Knowing what it is like to be an active addict from the inside out helps me to understand the degree of manipulation and the lack of control that goes hand in hand with this practice. It automatically casts a shadow of distrust and skepticism in my eyes. Am I assuming the worst? No. Do I proceed with caution? Absolutely.

See, I think the term judgement that we throw around embodies more of a hater ideology. It doesn’t come from a place of thinking that I’m better than someone for what they choose to do with their body, but I am using judgement as a tool to discern whether or not I want to keep this person close to me.

As a person with core values, I like to keep my coven tight knit with people who cherish similar morals and respect boundaries. It makes me uncomfortable to see people who do not have boundaries, and so I choose to keep them at an arms distance.

There is this awesome coach, Randi Buckley, who uses a garden as a metaphor for boundaries. She describes it as having many different concentric circles, and certain people are only allowed to a particular layer before their boundary is set in front of them. You wouldn’t have the same boundaries with a stranger on the street as you would with your mother, so there are different layers within your garden for different people who come into your life. I feel that this is an awesome way to illustrate the idea of boundaries in your mind, because you aren’t looking to shut everyone out, you’re looking to protect the beautiful bush of red roses at the core of the garden.

But in order to understand which layer people belong in, we have to use judgement. We have to be able to see what people can bring to nourish the soil in order to allow them a certain distance into the garden. If all they are doing is tromping on the flowers, we put up a fence. And judgement is a good tool to use to distinguish the weeds from the gardeners.

So when you use judgement, don’t let it consume you and turn into hate. That isn’t the point of the tool. Use it to protect yourself and create healthy relationships. You will be stronger for it. Protect your garden and stay witchy ( *)

WitchCrafts ( *)

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Welcome to your November installment of WitchCrafts! Because I believe so much in harnessing your creative energy to get you out of a rut, I’ve decided to run this segment monthly to get you to shake up your routine.

This segment comes to you with a free print out in the product page. I have spoken before about making lists and I feel that if you suffer from anxiety, like me, you can free up your headspace by just jotting down things to do throughout your week. Taking things one day at a time can seem overwhelming when your schedule has you bogged down, but using resources like a planner or a notebook can really help to release the tension once you’ve physically written down your tasks.

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I have created these printouts by month but only containing a week, so you can print out four at a time to complete the set. At the bottom I’ve listed what crystal energy the birthstone corresponding to the month harnesses, and a space to write down a personal mantra.

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I personally like to doodle all over my planners. It helps me to meditate a bit. If you have adult coloring books, you know what I mean by this.

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My example has a lot of detail, but feel free to make it your own. It is important that this reflects your comfort level. These were made to help ease the burden of the upcoming week.

So get out your colored pencils and get cracking! It is pretty amazing how easy it is to alleviate stress by just writing things down. Stay witchy, friends ( *)

 

What Are You Thankful For?

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The Nine of Pentacles denotes gratitude and inner harmony, and what better time to be grateful than during Thanksgiving?

When things aren’t going well, it is difficult to be thankful. But it is also an important time to look for the positive in your life so the negative doesn’t consume you. Looking in retrospect at how you’ve chosen to grow from unfavorable situations is easier than when you are in it, but looking forward with tenacity is an admirable skill that can be learned.

In the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, I’ve decided to create a list for the things I am thankful for today. Feel free to use it in comparison with your own!

  1. I am thankful for my mental and physical health, which I have had the strength and value to invest time in.
  2. I am thankful for my coven/ my family, for supporting me when times were bad, and celebrating with me when times were good.
  3. I am thankful for the ability to open my heart again.
  4. I am thankful for the obstacles in my life that have made me stronger and smarter.
  5. I am thankful for the strength that made me a survivor, and more than a victim.
  6. I am thankful for forgiveness, which has helped me to release harmful, negative energy within myself.
  7. I am thankful for my steady income, which keeps a roof over my head.
  8. I am thankful for my ability to write, which has been an incredible gift and exercise.
  9. I am thankful for my followers, who are loyal and accepting of my brand.
  10. I am thankful for my spirit, which had many opportunities to falter, but never did.

Get thankful today, tomorrow, and always. Stay witchy ( *)

The Rocking Chair Epidemic

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I heard this saying a while back: Worrying is like a rocking chair, it passes the time but doesn’t get you anywhere.

I personally find this poignant because worrying has always been my go-to. With lots of practice, it is a fraction of the size of the problem it used to be, but, we are all a work in progress.

The Five of Pentacles is a major indicator of worry and desolation. But here’s the thing, going through a tough time is not going to be made easier by worrying about the future. The most important thing to do in times of hardship is to pick yourself up from your boot straps and do whatever necessary to get you back to a comfortable situation.

If you lost your job, instead of worrying about money, get on Craigslist and find a temp job until you can get something you love. Boyfriend broke up with you? Go out with your girlfriends to get your mind off of what he’s doing. Worrying about how you performed on the job interview? Get back out there to get more interviews, even if it was a slam dunk. Being proactive is going to help you get your mind off of things that are completely out of your hands at this point. You do not control them now, the universe does.

Another thing that helps is the repetition of mantras. I have had many upsets with dating, as you may have read, and when things start to go good, or bad, or hell even the same, I’m quick to worry. So to keep my head on straight and to put up a safety net in the rabbit hole, I repeat to myself a couple key mantras that work for me. Mostly they are reminders to have faith, go with the flow, and continue to be proud of how I show up. This is how I stay proactive in my mental health.

So you can sit in that miserable rocking chair all night and obsess over every detail you’ve made up in your head, or you can put all of that excess energy into something productive. Have some faith, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Willpower and Self Trust

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It is my personal belief that willpower, or the Chariot, cannot exist without self love or self trust.

Here’s a thought: If you and a friend are going to a party, and said friend is going to be the designated driver, and said friend promises to only have one drink for the entire length of the party, would you feel at all comfortable taking that ride if you didn’t trust that promise?

So here it is imperative that trust exists in order to feel secure in the ride.

Now think of it this way: If you told yourself when you went to a party that you were going to only have one drink, and then you decided to get black-out drunk, you would stop trusting yourself, right?

Right.

When you initially don’t trust what you are saying as you make that promise to yourself, and you let the little gremlins step all over that promise, you’re showing that you have no conviction rooted in what you declared, even if it is subconscious. Without conviction there can be no willpower. And through transitive property, no willpower = no self love/ trust/ respect.

When you make a promise to yourself, you will stick to it out of self respect if it is present. You would do it for a friend, so why wouldn’t you do it for number one? Letting yourself lose control is a powerless feeling, and you want to get the reigns of the Chariot sturdy.

This is not to say that you should beat yourself up over the fact that willpower is hard for you. For some it is a practice, and some (like those in anonymous programs) have to give it up to God or whoever in order to just make it by. That in it of itself is showing self respect because you know the shit-show to come if you try to play with moderation.

This can be practiced in many different situations. Like when you know you only have twenty dollars until your next paycheck but your friends want to go out or go shopping, and out of total disregard for your financial situation, you pull out your credit card and shut your eyes to try to ignore the bad decision. You try to convince yourself that it’s fine and the whole while you’re literally dying of anxiety because of a decision YOU made to hurt YOU. You could have said no. But you chose anxiety.

I am no stranger to this. I had zero self respect so I kept putting myself in situations that made that abundantly clear. After 15 grand in credit card debt, a couple eating disorders, and a damaging relationship, its time to wake up and take responsibility for your role in your willpower. It isn’t easy but if you cut the shit and start taking responsibility for loving and respecting yourself, you’ll start to gain the trust back as a result.

At the end of the day its finding out where you are in your journey. No one is ever happy with the fact that they over indulged. It always allows you to panic. So diminish that feeling by practicing self love,  vis a vis, willpower. Get ahold of that Chariot, make good decisions, and stay witchy ( *)

 

New Moon New Me!

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Not only is today the beginning of a New Moon, but it is also my birthday! A New Moon brings about rebirth and regeneration, and I feel that it is perfectly appropriate that it would appear tonight. I have always imagined the age 27 as the perfect adult age when I was a child, making all of my Barbies and dolls this age. With the launch of this new brand I have created and the beginning of my life coaching career, I just know that this year is going to be a major success.

In numerology, the number 9 (2+7) is the number of universal love, eternity, and faith. It invokes a spiritual awakening, and coupled with the New Moon, I’d say my spirituality and life purpose are going to knock it out of the park. The number 9 in tarot also symbolizes fulfillment and the giving of wisdom, and I am certainly excited to see what that brings! As the Nine of Cups symbolizes comfort, happiness, and satisfaction, I am so excited to go into this year with an open heart.

Here’s to a great year everyone! Stay witchy ( *)

Rationing Your Time

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Good afternoon witches! As some of you may have noticed, my blog posts have becoming more infrequent. While I used to try and post as often as possible, the time has come for me to spread out my writings in order to preserve the quality of my content.

Which brings me to the Ten of Wands. Today we’re looking at a reversed card that signifies the process of holding onto a burden that is unnecessary. Biting off more than you can chew and finishing the bite out of pride. This kind of behavior is silly and ends up working against you by burning you out.

This blog was originally made to be a writing project for me to spill my guts, while using my influences of tarot and self help to allow me to move my message in a personalized manner. As I would like my posts to exhibit an air of passion over obligation, I am taking a step back from writing when I have nothing to say. I want this page to have content full of worth rather than filler pieces for when I have writers block.

Essentially, this post is to apologize, inform, and explain the gaps in my writing. I will still be posting multiple times a week, but only when it feels organic and there is a subject worth writing about.

I love you all and thank you for following. Stay witchy and stay reading ( *)

Tackling Obsession

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Uh oh. Here’s that scary Devil card again.

However, today, we’re going to use it to illustrate obsession.

This card is not “bad” by any measure, but it is truly enlightening. It is the perfect metaphor for obsession. Being bound by mental chains of fixation on one thing or another is quite debilitating.

When we obsess, we lose sight of everything else around us. We are the horse with blinders on, only staring ahead at the thing we desire most. And that thing may even change routinely, but when the obsession is present, nothing else is.

I have a problem with obsession. From the tiniest of things to large scale life goals, obsession is something I have struggled with for most of my life. It stems from my need for control: if I put this in the forefront of my minds eye, it can’t go anywhere or do anything until it is achieved. It cannot change or be forgotten if all I do it think about it.

As unhealthy as that is, in earlier years I convinced myself that the obsession begat ambition. That it was fuel for the fire. And in my rationalizing my obsession, it became ok to do with everything in my life.

However, the stark difference between obsession and goal setting, is that goal setting doesn’t interfere with the rest of your life. Goal setting makes room for many aspects in it, while obsession demands full attention.

The way I deal with my obsession is by using an exercise tailored to the root of my problem. I fixate because I’m afraid I will forget, and therefore fail. So in order to not forget, when I find myself becoming fixated on whatever it is, be it a healthy diet, new pair of jeans, a morning routine, or even the pursuit of love, I write it down. Once it is written down in a list or a notebook, something I regularly look at, it cannot be forgotten. It now exists in stone, and frees up my mind from all of the worries and anxieties associated with obsession.

So if you find yourself fixating on something, try to figure out why it is so important, and try to soothe your mind based on what you find. Obsession is wasted energy, and there is so much out there that deserves your attention. So be frugal with the amount of energy you spend, and stay witchy ( *)

Why Pity Parties Don’t Work

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In the Five of Cups, we see a man cloaked in despair. He is focusing on three spilled cups in front of him, and is unaware of the two cups,still full, behind him.

And that is Lame Ass, amiright?

Pity parties can be fun for a hot second, like when you really just need to be dramatic and let it out. But there is a clear and evident time for when to end that shit, get back on the horse, and be thankful you still have those two full cups behind you.I know that it is hard not to feel bad and sorry for yourself, but when you do, you are wasting precious, valuable time you could be using to bounce back.

Grief is real and should be felt. Sadness is a true emotion and should be treated with care. But to sit around and whine about how bad things only happen to you and that you’ll never heal from this setback and that life is too hard is just plain annoying. None of that is true and to lower yourself to that level is insulting to your insides. You should get real with yourself and realize that no matter how bad your situation is, there is someone out there with it ten times worse who has already shaped up and is on the road to recovery.

When my little dog, my best friend in the world, passed away, I was the Queen of Pity Parties. Not only had I been reigning royalty in the court for years beforehand, but once we had to put little Max down, my title was stronger than ever. I walked around mopey, convinced that no one had it as hard as I did (a privileged, attractive, white female growing up in one of the biggest cities in the world.)

I didn’t actually grieve. I was sad, of course, but the sadness was just stagnant because I didn’t know what to do with it. I used that sadness as a crutch, because I was already just unhappy altogether. My dog passing away, which, in a vacuum, is sad as hell to begin with, was compounded with all of my other “stuff” and blown out of proportion. Because I was looking for any excuse to feel bad for myself, I took it to a whole other level and basically demanded attention from people through it. Which is super fucked up (R.I.P. Maxy Boy.)

So the point is, there is a stark difference between grief and feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself takes away from the actual incident and inhibits your ability to heal. Grief and sadness are normal human reactions and are necessary for growth. Self-pity is a crutch. Clarity through healing is an open door.

So get up off that floor and dry your tears. There’s always a way out, and it starts with you taking the focus off of your pain and putting it onto your healing and the resources your still have. Those are your two full cups. Remember that, and stay witchy ( *)