Tag: life coach

How this New Moon Symbolizes the Final Push Towards an Abundant 2018

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IMG_5323So today we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, who’s energy is fiery, passionate, and willing to make our goals our destiny. This is the final push to see how much transformation we’ve made and what we still need to do to have a successful New Year.

But lately it’s gotten me thinking about how far I’ve come, myself, in just a few short years.

It wasn’t too long ago that I would set goals just to have them crumble beneath me in a few weeks. It seemed impossible because there were so many “outside forces” that seemed to be standing in my way. One thing or another would dramatically change the course of events, and I just felt as thought I couldn’t win.

But once I hit the proverbial rock bottom, I came to my senses and reached out for some much needed help. I sought out guidance that directed me to real change, and it seemed as though outside forces didn’t have the same effect. Sure, life still happens, but the real force that kept obstructing my journey was ME. And seeking out help got me out of my own way.

As the Star appeared, and hope was renewed, I started to see a shift in my overall abundance. Because I worked with my shadow, acted with gratitude, defined my values and put true intention behind every action, my goals weren’t difficult to attain anymore. In fact, just setting them was enough for them to manifest.

I know what it’s like to be frustrated and discouraged. I still have those days. But the difference is that I know how to honor the feelings and switch them to a vibe so high that abundance can’t help but find me. And I can teach you how to do exactly the same.

I’ve created a group program to start off the New Year right, which is held in a private Facebook community for 8 full weeks. I have educational videos, private coaching calls, guest speakers, assignments and rituals that are specifically designed to get you out of your own way and into a revolutionized way of thinking. I made this group program for ME a few years ago.

So act as the Knight of Swords and move forward with action. Don’t wait, because you can only receive this insane package at the early bird price for two more days. Get on this no, because you won’t regret it. Find the link here, and stay witchy ( *)

Ways to Honor Your Body, Mind, and Soul in the Winter Months

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For many of us, it’s hard to slow down when it gets cold. But going against nature and what our body needs causes us unnecessary stress (and sometimes even depression.) Use any of these quick tips to honor hibernation season and preserve your strength to kick ass for the long run, instead of burning out entirely.

  • Know what your body is asking for: Listen, I totally understand that you’ve made a pact with yourself to get up at 5am and work out, but what do you do when you know you’re getting sick? Do you push through it anyways, only to find that you’re sicker for longer after that CrossFit class? Sometimes staying in bed isn’t worth feeling guilty over, and will preserve your health for longer lasting results.
  • Obligations don’t exist: Holiday parties are fun, sure, but they can fill your social calendar to the point of literal anxiety. You’re allowed to say no, and to stay home in your pjs while you warm by the fire. I’m not saying to completely be the Hermit, but also know when to say “no.”
  • If you have to, schedule downtime: Now this might be the type A in me talking, but if it isn’t in my planner, I simply won’t do it. If your schedule is jam packed to that point, I suggest scheduling in a movie at home so you KNOW you have to sit down and relax. Write in “bubble bath” at 8pm and don’t bring your phone. Anything to honor the resting period.
  • Remember gratitude: If you’re so busy with Christmas shopping, holiday parties, work events, etc. that it makes you want to scream, remember to be grateful that you have things going on. You could be one of the humans out there on the street in the snow, and even though it may seem like they’re not doing much, they certainly aren’t relaxing. Be grateful for your busy schedule, and make time for yourself because you have the freedom to do it.

All in all, just remember you’re shooting for longevity, and pushing against your body will not serve you. Mind the seasons, honor rest, and stay witchy ( *)

Why I Always Romanticized the Word “Tragic”

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I remember being 13 and wanting to be miserable. 

You know the saying, “misery loves company”? 

Misery loves familiarity. And romanticizing tragedy was so aligned with my state at that time. I needed tragic to be romantic so I could feel a sense of worth. 

There was something about the skinny, miserable, cigarette smoking girls I would see in movies that was glamorous to me. It was like validation. But I wasn’t looking at the big picture. I was looking to feel comfortable, instead of getting UNcomfortable and completely changing my state. 

My perspective was looking across the floorboards to find loose change under couches, instead of standing up and seeing the entire room. My view was low and targeted, instead of vast and abundant. 

This was very reminiscent of the 8 of Swords. Blindfolded and bound, unaware of the way out that was right in front of me at the time. Tragedy wasn’t the answer, opening my eyes was. 

I needed to see the World. I needed to view the fulfillment you can achieve by waking up. I couldn’t feel whole without getting out of my own head. And once I did, the magic happened. 

If this sounds like you, and you love tragedy, and negativity follows you, it’s time to step back. Every time you feel down, think of your mental state. You are your own prisoner; you can open the cell at any time. Get out of your head, and stay witchy ( *)

Rerouting Conversations

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img_4630The theme in my life the past two months has been of negativity, paranoia, and betrayal. What fun is that?!

In fact, it’s come to my attention that a lot of my interactions with friends has been circling around complaints and assumptions. That, my dear sweets, is a recipe for disaster.

Here’s how it all starts: you get thrust into a new environment, it takes some time to adjust, and you’re absorbing absorbing absorbing. Unfortunately, the energy circling around is negative, and you become a dark sponge after a while. All of the verbiage that is bestowed on you becomes apart of your vernacular. You start becoming part of the problem.

And quite honestly, I’m not one to deal with negativity well. I don’t think many people are, but as an empath I find it excruciating. I act out because it feels like a physical weight.

But to take a step back and see things through the looking glass, as they actually are, you can put things in their proper box and step over it. You can triumph in the wake of something that isn’t serving you emotionally, but may be in other ways (i.e. financially.)

What the plan is, going forward, is to re-route and re-direct. Although I hate to admit that it’s taken me this long to figure out the solution, I arrived at the destination and that’s all that matters. This is why I suggest everyone get a life coach: then you don’t have to figure it all out yourself 😉

As the reversed position of the Seven of Swords suggests, it’s time to break through the mental challenges. At the end of the day, we are the only ones standing in our way, and it’s as simple as flipping a switch. No, it doesn’t seem simple in the beginning, but if you keep at it, and combat one negative thought with three positive ones, you’re already beating the system.

Use the Chariot as a guide to control your thoughts. If you see that you are taking part in a conversation that is complain-y or negative, either consciously reroute the conversation, or simply leave. The fact that you INTENTIONALLY are steering clear of negativity is the biggest and most important part.

No this isn’t that easy. Yes it will take practice. But putting intentional positivity into the universe will yield insane results in your life. No one enjoys a spiral. No one wants to be a Negative Nancy. So notice, stop, redirect, and stay witchy ( *)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 4

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 4 is live! I’m coming to you solo today to talk about the podcast, a short version of my journey, and overall witchiness.

 

Listen below and subscribe on iTunes!

 

Codependency in a Vacuum

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More than an article to provide advice, this blog post comes to you as sort of a realization piece, courtesy of my recent trip and a conversation with my sister. Hopefully this can additionally add insight to someones life who may need it, however, this is meant more to be an exercise in self exploration.

Here at WitchyWisdoms, I write about my relationship with a heroin addict at length. I also use to word “codependent” to often describe myself and my struggles. But reflecting away from the self-help jargon has actually brought me to a different understanding, and it is becoming more and more clear that I am not a definitive codependent, but was one in a vacuum.

Let me elaborate: as a person who has struggled a lot with self love, self acceptance, anxiety, and depression, I have had many instances where I would exhibit reckless behavior to get attention. However, my happiness growing up was not contingent on that of another. My happiness was lost in the shuffle, and I would look for it in many different forms of addiction. Where codependency is more of a trait than an isolated incident, it was not ever something I embodied until recently.

After my rape, I felt used and unwanted. I felt as though I should be discarded because I was tainted. And at that very moment, my knight in shining armor, or rather a sheep in wolf’s clothing, stepped in and made me feel like I was deserving of love. This is where the vacuum begins.

Through a seemingly necessary dependence on him, because I now owed him my life and happiness, I could not risk losing him. And he played the game very well. Rich with manipulation and emotional abuse, he guided me through a very codependent moment in my life. But once I sought out help, did some digging, and did the work, it almost seemed crazy that I ever fell for his games. It seemed like he had dated another person entirely.

And that is what usually happens in recovery. Once you look back at the person who you once were, they seem unrecognizable to you. But in my case, and what my sister, who has seen me grow up in various stages, helped me to realize, is that I didn’t struggle with codependency before him, nor do I now. This isn’t something that is a hurdle for me to jump over. But given my circumstances and a perfect storm of feeling alone and down-trodden, I exhibited text book codependency.

Now this is not to serve to look down on anyone who is codependent. I have my very rich share of troubles that I continue to work on, but this just isn’t recurring. It is helpful to see what your journey looks like from a realistic angle, because spending time working on something that isn’t an issue for you is not beneficial. And while, at the time, group meetings and books on codependency helped me tremendously, it helped the symptom of the underlying issue, which is most certainly trauma from sexual abuse. This year I will be searching out trauma counseling, and I look forward to sharing my progress with you all. Stay healthy and happy witches ( *)

Vacation Wrap Up

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Well witches, I’m back! I’m ready to get back fully into writing and sharing and I am bursting with new projects and ideas to help my coven blossom!

Pictured above is the Two of Wands, one of my favorite cards, which can denote discovery when you step out of your comfort zone. And this was definitely that for me. I have been working since I was thirteen years old, and am fairly new in the self help game, so taking a large break and leap of faith in five European countries was quite eye opening.

As some of you know, I came here to visit with my sister and go on this excursion together. We’ve been on three trains, five planes, and to seven cities, and if that isn’t going to put stress on a relationship, I don’t know what will. It’s very enlightening to travel with someone, and this took the cake.

Well to my pleasant, not-so-much surprise, we were not only excellent travel companions, but also extraordinarily supportive of each other. We knew each other’s needs (i.e. The Hanger) and were patient with each other pretty much every step of the way. Putting our heads together in the way of navigating and communicating served us very well. But aside from probably being able to win The Amazing Race, we had incredible heart to hearts where I learned so much about this incredible woman who I’m so lucky to have as a sister.

She is an extremely wise, take-no-shit old soul who really cares for herself. She embodies a true, wild young woman who is passionate about life and holds firm and strong values. And not without her own experiences and setbacks. She has molded a truly inspiring outlook on the world and makes me so incredibly proud. She also makes me very grateful to be doing the work that I do, for not many women are as fortunate as her to be endowed with her wisdom.

I also learned, or more so enforced my belief, that self help must be practiced 24/7, less you lose yourself in your negative self talk. Backpacking through countries, staying in 10 bed hostels, and eating foods you wouldn’t normally isn’t going to give you a red carpet glow. And being a little bloated with no makeup, natural hair and a couple of angry pimples (mostly from flying) doesn’t make you really feel on top of your game when you have vanity issues. So if you aren’t practicing your self help tools and all you’re doing is comparing yourself to other women around you, you lose yourself in a negative spiral that takes away from this enormously beautiful experience. I mean, fuck what you look like in a selfie, you’re literally standing in front of the Coliseum! This is for real memories, not to showcase a false ideal. I traveled and experienced. I did not spend the whole time in the bathroom contouring for a good photo. I also dressed warm because it is literally 6 degrees out, so yeah, I’m going to look a little puffy. That’s not the point though. The point is to focus on the incredible experience that I’ve been given. And only being able to intermittently write and read and listen to my podcasts has allowed some of that back of the head bitch talk to sneak its way in. Luckily though, I have my beautiful and wise sister to put things in perspective, as I have helped to do for her.

We really bounced off of each other a lot on this vacation in very positive ways and I wouldn’t trade this experience for the whole world. But it’s time to get back to reality and get my life and career back in gear with all of the new things I’ve seen and learned. Can’t wait to spend 2017 with you witchies! ( *)

Self Permission

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As my Euro trip comes to a close, I want to touch on an important issue for most every woman on vacation, and that is allowing yourself permission in terms of diet and exercise. 

Yes it is the New Year and I’m sure most of you have weight-related resolutions, but let’s get this shit straight: you are human, and excessive rigidity always fires back with a huge and devastating relapse. 

As a woman with body image issues, going on a month long Euro-trip devoid of exercise and full of heavy meat and potatoes can really take its toll on you mentally, especially when you’re used to a pretty regular regimen of running, yoga, and vegetables. But along with self permission comes moderation, and we all need to remember that it’s ok to allow yourself to enjoy life. 

My sister and I have been walking between 2 and 8 miles a day and eating a budget-friendly diet, so while it may be rich in red meat and starch, it is also in small portions and surrounded by smaller healthier meals. This constitutes for moderation, but I digress. 

In situations like this, it is very easy to beat yourself up for not eating a superfood for every meal, especially when you see European beauties in tiny Brazilian bikinis at every thermal bath in Budapest. It is easy to compare your body and blame yourself because you had a hot meal. But this is not conducive to your mental well being AT ALL. That will not make you feel better about your body, make you skinnier, make you have less cellulite. And dieting on vacation is just as inane. You’re here to experience life and the cultures, eat their food and socialize, and just plain have fun. Focusing on your body image and what you ate for lunch takes away every bit of beauty because you’re focusing on the wrong damn thing. So this is where self permission comes in. You need to allow yourself the modest freedom to enjoy life. You aren’t a glutton. You’re on fucking vacation. 

So next time you feel like you really want that pistachio cheesecake after you’ve been eating really well, let yourself have it! You can’t starve yourself into a better you, trust me I’ve tried. Next time you’re tired from working late and can’t muscle up the energy to run 5 miles in the morning, allow yourself to sleep in a little later and do a 30 minute kickboxing video. Or, allow yourself the day to recoup. It’s not the end of the world. Changing your diet and exercise routine is a lifestyle change. It’s not a quick fix, but when you eat well and exercise over all, you’re definitely going to deserve to have treats and rest days. Moderation is key, and self permission is part of self love. Stay witchy ( *)

Merry Christmas Eve!

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The Ten of Pentacles is a card of family, tradition, togetherness and affluence, which is perfectly appropriate for the Christmas season! As an admittedly commercial holiday, as opposed to the more spiritual solstice holiday of Yule, it still has many positive messages we can practice.

We go through life alone, for the most part, and in that solitary journey we can find ourselves becoming self involved. Fixating on our own problems and dwelling on past injustices. But when a holiday calls as a reminder to step outside and see your place in the lives of your friends and family, even for a brief moment, you can recognize where your problems lie in the grand scheme of things. 

In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff. Family and friendship, health and happiness, those are the big ticket items. Be reminded of that this holiday season, be merry, and stay witchy ( *)

What is a “Calling” and Do I Have One?

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The Fool symbolizes the beginning of a journey. A bright, shiny-eyed fellow who is setting forth on a path that is completely and utterly new. One with purpose and one full of lessons to be learned. He is all of us.

If you’re a young, ambitious individual, it’s not surprising that you might have been faced with the question “What is my life purpose?” The insurmountable pressure of having one thing you were set on earth to do. What it’s all for.

Nietzsche has a quote: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” And I think that surmises what we are all looking for. A reason to muscle through the cold, lonely days of our journey. Not to be mistaken for love, because we know that is not a completion of our circle, but rather the addition of one in the form of a bond. No, this is a personal “why.” This is what we dream of when we are little girls and little boys. This is the “why” that made Mother Teresa run homes for the diseased. This is the “why” that made Jonas Salk invent the Polio vaccine. “Why” Elie Wiesel took his horrific experiences in Auschwitz and turned them into inspiring stories and a Nobel Peace Prize.

Now not everyone can run to Uganda and cure Zika. Although if we all sought out to cure diseases that would be pretty kick ass. We can’t all write Grammy winning albums or star in Oscar winning roles. We can’t all write best sellers and we can’t all win the Fields Medal. But everyday we have choices to make, and making the right ones are indicative of our purpose.

See, I think that if we all strive to make conscious decisions that feel right and true within our sphere of authenticity, our purpose will be handed to us on a silver platter. In fact, I think that is the purpose in it of itself. Instead of having one solid concrete thing that we must stick to for the rest of our lives, which seems to be more of a shackle than a path to greatness, at every turn we are given an opportunity to think with conviction and at that time our purpose is highlighted. Our purpose morphs and bends to the person we are at that very moment, and if self respect and self love are things that you practice regularly, that authentic light will shine through. That purpose, that pattern, that character, that will be the guide in your journey. That will be your “why.” It’s what is inside you.

When I got the help I needed and put into practice all of the tools that I gained from my support, I slowly started to make conscious decisions that benefited me and felt right and true to my core. No longer did I have a gaping hole of panic in me. I was sticking up for myself. And through the trail of conviction, though not always perfect, I started to find seeds of what was hidden beneath the wreckage. I listened to myself and felt called to start writing. And although I don’t put the pressure on myself to say that this is it for me forever, right now it feels true. And that’s what the journey is all about.

So if you’re getting down on yourself for not having it all figured out, well let me tell you something: No one does. Not even Oprah.

But what people like her do that is so inspirational is that they seize every opportunity authentically. That’s the calling. And if we all have the capacity to be authentic, we all have a life purpose. Live true to yours and stay witchy ( *)