Season 2 Episode 4

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witchywisdoms.com

Season 2, Episode 4 is live! Every fourth episode I like to get up close and personal with my gals, so this one is a solo!

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

Where Are You In Your Journey Season 2!!

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witchywisdoms.com

Season 2, Episode 1 is live! In this interview, I get acquainted with life coach and body posi queen Rachel Spencer! We talk about injecting creativity into your business, using Instagram authentically, and seeing art everywhere. Find her on instagram under @mylifecoachrachel or at MyLifeCoachRachel.com

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

 

 

Eliminating Shame from Sexuality

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When there is shame surrounding a topic, it takes something that should be beautiful and makes it seedy. It strips away all of the magic. It creates a dark air around it. And this is just as true for sex as any other taboo subject.

So, what can we do to eliminate the shame surrounding sex? How can we embrace our sexuality and live as sacred sexual beings day to day? Follow these tips to replace shame with confidence:

  1. Watch porn that suits you: 
    • A lot of the reason why people feel shame around sex is because they can’t relate themselves to feeling sexy. It’s almost as if it’s off limits because they subconsciously can’t see themselves as deserving. If this is part of your problem, I suggest watching porn with people that look like you that do what you like. There is so much on the internet with people of all colors, sexual preferences, body types, etc, that empowers the art of pleasure on every conceivable level. Watching realistic porn, instead of overly aggressive porn-star-porn, might help to add an inclusionary ideal to your own sex life.
  2. When appropriate, talk about it:
    • There’s nothing that takes the air out of a shame-tire like plain old words. Start talking about sex freely. Ask your girlfriends what their experiences are like. Ask your partner what they enjoy between the sheets. Open the dialogue and ask questions. Secrets are the main food source for shame, so take away it’s meal plan and start talking about it!
  3. Masterbate:
    • Getting acquainted with your body and learning what sets you on fire is a great way to eliminate shame. Our bodies are wired to react a certain way to stimulation. It’s natural! So learn what get’s you off and be proud of it!
  4. Confront what makes you uncomfortable: 
    • Do you shudder when you hear the word “vagina?” Do you want to run and hide at the idea of anal? What makes you want to duck for cover? Start taking note of your reactions to sex-related things and then do your research. I find that the more educated you are on a subject, the more comfortable you’ll feel about it.
  5. Allow yourself to feel sexy:
    • Dressing sexy is a big thing for me. I feel empowered when I can flaunt my sexuality and own it. However, that may be too bold for some. In that case, there are a myriad of more subtle approaches. Wear a new shade of lipstick, challenge yourself to wear a pair of heels, or sport some lingerie under your jeans and t-shirt. There are many undercover ways to embrace your inner goddess, and implementing them into your daily life will start to push shame out of the way.

Follow these tips at your own pace and you will start to see a shift from guilt to acceptance. Sex is a natural and beautiful thing, and as long as you do it with respect and consent, there is nothing to be ashamed of! Get your sexy on and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: How to Reach Out

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It’s hard to reach out to friends or family when you feel guilt or shame surrounding your situation. Those kinds of self-inflicted emotions can hinder your ability to speak up and reach out for the help you need.

So today I’m going to move, step by step, through how to pick up the phone:

  1. Notice your habits:
    • Make a journal or a list of things you tend to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed or down. Do you notice what your go-to actions are? Are you keeping a drinking log of how much you drink and when? Are you sleeping until 1pm instead of getting up at 8 and running like you used to? Has the small bag of chips turned into the family sized bag? What is falling off balance, and why? Is there a reason?
  2. Imagine your best friend called you for the same reason, and play out what you’d say in your head:
    • Would you judge him/ her? Would you scold them? Or would you be kind, loving, and supportive? Chances are, your phone call will go exactly the same way.
  3. Use the 5 second rule:
    • Feel the urge to call? Need help? Don’t give yourself more than five seconds to think about it. Literally count down to 5, and on 1, dial. If it is over 5 seconds, the brain will automatically start to create excuses. This tip is courtesy of miss Mel Robbins 🙂
  4. Reciprocity:
    • Friendships, the real good ones, are not one-sided and hollow. They are deep, nurturing, and loving. If you develop the kind of friendship that serves as a sacred safe space, you will always have support in your time of need. That means when your friend needs a pick me up, you’re there like you want them to be there for you. Being able to cultivate a friendship where you both lift each other up is priceless.

Don’t be afraid witchies. Reaching out is more rewarding than scary. It takes courage, but I know you’ve got that in spades. Get bold, and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Crafting a Baseline Routine

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Brought to you by a small bout of anxiety and depression, here is your WednesdayWisdoms exercise for the week!

Last post I fessed up about over-doing it on vacation and the spiral it led me down as a result. And under further investigation, I found that it is because I’ve strayed from my baseline routine.

There are certain things in everyone’s life that bring them joy and order. And when you abandon all of that for a certain length of time, you begin to float around in a sea of worry, not really realizing where you are in the ocean. And that’s because you pulled up your anchor.

Now the beauty of that, is that once you realize you’ve been floating aimlessly and that’s why you feel like shit, you can always drop anchor again! Now, what makes your anchor so sturdy?

For me, if I don’t have a steady diet, exercise, and meditation, I will go nuts. I will literally run off of the rails. And it’s very easily explainable. I don’t have proper nutrients to fuel my body, so I’m tired and feel gross, which means I don’t exercise. If I don’t exercise, I don’t get any endorphins, so I’m unhappy. And when I don’t meditate, I don’t clear a space in my head for my thoughts to pass through and it all becomes a screaming mess.

There are additional things, too. Like if I go too long without listening to an uplifting podcast (What’s the Tee with RuPaul and Michelle Visage and Your Kick Ass Life with Andrea Owen are my faves) or singing at the top of my lungs, I peter out as well.

So this week, I want you to observe your routine. What is it that maintains balance in your life? Is the morning cup of coffee from your Keurig an absolute staple? What about midday yoga? A certain TV show before you fall asleep? What brings happiness and order into your life?

Start naming these things and hold them at the highest importance. These are your new non-negotiables. No clients before coffee. No emails once you’ve turned on Golden Girls. Do not let these snippets of joy be compromised by anyone or anything. They are your baseline. They are your anchor.

So next time you feel an energy shift, do a check in with your routine. Have you been neglecting the things that provide order and happiness? Keep it together and stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Dealing with a Dictator

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Are you dealing with a high strung manager that won’t get off your back? Try these tips to keep yourself sane under all of the harsh treatment.

1. Remember that they are under A LOT of pressure.

Most likely, if your manager is coming down on you hard for something, it is because they are under direct order to do so. Their delivery might be harsh, because they aren’t too versed in how to communicate, but they are only doing their job. This understanding might help you to just let it go.

2. Breathe

It is really easy to fire back with a response, start to tear up, or shake with anger (whatever your chosen method is) when faced with someone who is a condescending prick. But if you remember to take three deep, long inhales before responding, and slightly meditate on, or at least remind yourself of, the first tip, the whole world starts to feel bigger than just that interaction.

3. Just say yes

This was a huge one for me to learn. I love to have a comeback and an answer, but in all honesty, you need to save yourself the exhaustion. Just agree with your boss. If it’s a deadline that you can’t possibly make because of all of your other work, then speak up in a polite manner, but if it’s anything trivial, just say yes. You don’t even have to do it (haha don’t tell them I told you that.) Sometimes, bosses just need to say something to remind themselves they are the boss. And if you just nod in agreement, they’ll walk away feeling great and you can go on doing your job as well as you always do.

4. Remember the BIG picture

Are you truly happy at this job, despite your boss? Do you like your coworkers, the work you produce, and your hours? Is the pay good? Is the commute worth it? Think of this tip like you think of finding an ideal mate. Tick off all of the must haves, the “great if it did” haves, and the “could do without”s. Is this job meeting your standards? Or are you convincing yourself that you’re happy because you don’t know anything else? Ask the big questions before continuing to put up with a sour asshole who’s bad at communication.

I hope these help you in your future work endeavors. Working for someone else is not easy, but neither is owning a business. Neither is sitting still forever. It all takes work. Just remember to ask yourself what will make you the most happy. Stay witchy ( *)

WednesdayWisdoms: Standards, What?!

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To continue this weeks theme of creating standards and boundaries in love in order to reinforce the positive beliefs in yourself, we’re going to do some writing exercises and watch some movies.

First, pick three movies or tv shows in which you absolutely adore one of the characters romantically and make a profile for each one. Write a list of pros and cons for each character and from there, we’ll pick out the things you’d like to look for in a potential mate.

For example, if Mr. Big is your type, you need to create a list for what you find so attractive and be HONEST. If his womanizing ways turn you on, we need to explore that and find out why. For the most part, we need to dismantle old, unconscious beliefs before we create new and healthy ones.

If you love his sense of fashion, or that he finally stepped up in the end, then write that down too. Your pros and cons are subjective, but each quality needs to be explored.

So for each of the three characters, write three qualities in each column. Notice any overlaps. Try to find out what something seemingly negative or unhealthy lights your fire. Get CURIOUS.

This might come to a bit of a shock, because this is perhaps the first time you’ve even looked at why you’re attracted to certain kinds of men. And it might be scary, but remember that the future hasn’t happened yet, and you have the ability to change it! Stay aware and stay witchy ( *)