I’m coming to you today with Gabriella Herstik, LA based witch and author, to talk about starting up a career in writing. We discuss practical strategies for getting gigs, how to get big names in your byline, and channeling your matron Goddess.
Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)
Theme song by Cody Valentine
Theme for this Full Moon = PUMPED.
This Full Moon is 11 degrees Virgo, which amplifies it’s energy with the use of a power number. We’re feeling a lot of energetic shifts, especially if you consider where Virgo lies on your astrological birth chart.
So, coming into this Full Moon I had just arrived back from vacation on a Red Eye. And even though I still work on vacation, or I schedule posts/ emails so I have some free time, I always come back feeling like I haven’t done enough. I get this sinking feeling that taking time for myself has been a detriment and I have ruined everything I built by going away for a few days. I freak out and my anxiety bubbles up and then…
Guilt. Nervousness. All recipes for self sabotage. And why? Because I took a break to see my family?? No no, now it’s time to rewrite the narrative.
If you have been following my blog from the beginning, you know that personal development is 24/7 work. And running a business effectively is contingent on your own self care. Nothing you grow will flower from dead soil. So since I have been cataloging my journey, even I have down periods where I don’t follow my own WitchyWisdoms.
But I have noticed incredible progress. What used to be down periods of weeks, or even months, my down period this time was 12 hours. That’s it. 12 hours of lying in bed, binge watching Netflix (because every human deserves to be human) and then I woke up, meditated, and got back on the damn horse.
And guess what? Nothing in the world changed! All of that anxiety was self inflicted, and even though it could have been avoided, I’m grateful that it only lasted half a day. Progress is progress, and even baby steps move you forward.
And compared to a few years ago, these baby steps got me out the house and down the street!
I feel a lot of the Devil coming in to running my own business. It’s a lot of obsession over doing things all the time, right away. So to curtail that, I have set up a set schedule within my morning routine. Since my phone is my primary tool for work, I don’t use it at least one hour before bed and one hour after I wake up. I have two complete hours for me. Because guess what? Those clients can wait. I need to be fully me to serve, so in the end, they’ll thank me for waiting.
It was also very important to me to stick to a routine while I was away. Sometimes I have a tendency to have too much fun, or sleep to late, or eat the wrong foods just “because I’m on vacation.” But waking up with my morning ritual helps to set a pace of mindfulness throughout the day so I don’t go off the rails. If you throw everything to the wind because you have an excuse, you’re setting yourself up for disaster.
The last time I went away to California, it took be a couple weeks to bounce back. But today, I’m feeling ripe and ready for action. Yesterday was fabulous, today was fabulous, and tomorrow will be fabulous as well. And I can attribute that to this Full Moon in Virgo, which lights up my 12th house, and has to do with closure and spirituality. Gone are the days of endless self sabotage with a spiral and a freak out. I have honored my healing, I know what it takes, and I stay on top of it.
Tonight will be WitchTastic with a Full Moon bath, manifestation spells, and a lot of healing love from Mother Spirit.
Stay on top of yourself, keep yourself accountable, and stay witchy ( *)
This photo was taken in Berlin last New Years Eve, and I was so lucky to spend it with my sister dancing all night long to 90s American pop music. This year I was busy working, but I am grateful all the same. But it has me thinking…
The New Year has me reflecting and repurposing much of my business, Craft, and lifestyle, so get ready for some major changes happening over here!
For starters, this blog will no longer be so frequent. I honestly have begun to resent the task of sitting down and writing it, and its starting to feel forced. So, to bring the magic back to life, I’ve decided to cut back and only post on a Full Moon, so I can bring you a long reflection full of inspiration, rather than a contrived weekly post.
That being said, my email list WILL go out every Monday now, with tips, tricks, inspiration, witchy goodness, and updates! So be sure to subscribe to that so you don’t miss out.
And remember, tonight is a Super Full Moon in Cancer, with an emotional air and a powerful energy to kick off the New Year. Get your rituals ready, take out your journals, and pull some cards tonight. It should be highly insightful for your shadow self and the year to come!
To a beautiful 2018, to resting and relaxing today, and to staying witchy ( *)
I talk a lot about beliefs versus truths here, and RuPaul always says this phrase on his podcast so I thought I’d use it as my topic for this week. When he says, “The call is coming from inside the house,” he’s referring to your negative self talk holding you back, based on an old 70’s film titled When a Stranger Calls. The movie SPOILER centers around a baby sitter, played by Carol Kane, who keeps receiving strange and threatening phone calls. The stalker would consistently call and harass her, only to find out that when the call is traced, it’s coming from inside the house. The metaphor exists in this: it isn’t what is happening outside in reality, it is what you have held onto as your belief system that is the means for sabotage.
I recently performed a tarot spread for a reader who was frustrated with her creative blocks. She didn’t know why she couldn’t share her creations with the world. And although she reached out to me to consult my cards, the first phrase that popped into my head was “The call is coming from inside the house.” And, as I would have imagined, the cards echoed that loud and clear.
Fear is merely a byproduct of our overthinking. Yes, there are some real elements to fear, like physical danger, that our instincts will do our best to protect us from. But on a day to day basis, we mostly have constructed a belief system that masquerades as protecting us. It keeps us hidden in the house and isolated. It keeps us locked in one very accessible spot. Instead of letting us explore the options to make a systematic escape, we cower. All because of our own “truths.”
I’ve explained this before, but it bears repeating. Your belief system is constructed of things you’ve picked up throughout your life that have a significant emotion attached to it. For example, once I was wearing a dress with polka dots on it and a mean girl called me fat in an Urban Outfitters. Guess what belief manifested? Never wear polka dots.
Is that irrational? Totally. But if you don’t have the tools to separate emotion with sound reasoning (like when you’ve just hit puberty and you don’t know how to dress for your new boobs and slight pudge) that devastation will stay with you as a “truth.” So the next time you walk into Target and see some adorable polka dot romper, you’ll get a call that says “Don’t wear that, it’ll make you look fat.” And when you trace it, it won’t be coming from a mean girl. It’ll be coming from you. Because the more you repeat it, the more it becomes your own words.
There needs to be destruction, much like the Tower portends, in order to grow past these outdated beliefs. You need to trace that call back, aaallllll the way back, and have a real conversation with who’s on the other end. Why did you hold onto so tightly what the mean Urban Outfitters girl said? Why did it hurt you so much? Is it actually true? Or is it something you can let go of?
These kinds of questions and lines of reasoning can lead to the emotional security of the Queen of Cups. Holding onto fearful language and damaging beliefs only sits your house on a rocky foundation. In order to be truly rooted, your beliefs and values must exist in confidence and logic. Not on insults that you’re afraid of.
So next time you feel held back or restricted, take a long hard look at why these exist in your brain. Why have you decided to protect yourself by rehashing illogical statements? Is it still serving you? Don’t you WANT to wear polka dots???
Start tracing those calls, wear the polka dots proudly, and stay witchy ( *)
It’s hard to reach out to friends or family when you feel guilt or shame surrounding your situation. Those kinds of self-inflicted emotions can hinder your ability to speak up and reach out for the help you need.
So today I’m going to move, step by step, through how to pick up the phone:
Notice your habits:
Make a journal or a list of things you tend to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed or down. Do you notice what your go-to actions are? Are you keeping a drinking log of how much you drink and when? Are you sleeping until 1pm instead of getting up at 8 and running like you used to? Has the small bag of chips turned into the family sized bag? What is falling off balance, and why? Is there a reason?
Imagine your best friend called you for the same reason, and play out what you’d say in your head:
Would you judge him/ her? Would you scold them? Or would you be kind, loving, and supportive? Chances are, your phone call will go exactly the same way.
Use the 5 second rule:
Feel the urge to call? Need help? Don’t give yourself more than five seconds to think about it. Literally count down to 5, and on 1, dial. If it is over 5 seconds, the brain will automatically start to create excuses. This tip is courtesy of miss Mel Robbins 🙂
Friendships, the real good ones, are not one-sided and hollow. They are deep, nurturing, and loving. If you develop the kind of friendship that serves as a sacred safe space, you will always have support in your time of need. That means when your friend needs a pick me up, you’re there like you want them to be there for you. Being able to cultivate a friendship where you both lift each other up is priceless.
Don’t be afraid witchies. Reaching out is more rewarding than scary. It takes courage, but I know you’ve got that in spades. Get bold, and stay witchy ( *)
Kristen Johnston was recently on my favorite podcast (you guessed it, What’s the Tee?) and she mentioned an article by Nancy Colier. In this article, titled “Letting Go of Toxic People: When Staying in it is Not More Spiritual,” she details the immense pressure we put on ourselves to be open and forgiving to those that have wronged us, for fear that we have not achieved a heightened sense of spirituality.
When it comes to certain trauma, like abuse, we are taught that forgiveness will set us free. And when we still have emotional responses to triggers or actually seeing our abuser, it’s possible to feel that we actually haven’t forgiven at all.
However, these emotional responses are a product of our reptilian brain, the oldest and most basic part of our brain that is only focused on survival. While you can decide on forgiveness in your prefrontal cortex, your reptilian brain may not follow suit. And that is ok. In fact, the forgiveness we practice should be turned towards ourselves. Rather than pushing the limits of our instinct to be “higher” and more “elevated,” we should accept ourselves for what just is.
If you have experienced this kind of immeasurable betrayal, as pictured in the Ten of Swords, forgiveness is not something that just happens because you decide so. There is a natural ebb and flow to healing, and while self exploration will help move things along faster, you cannot cut corners on healing from trauma. This is because new questions arise every day, concerning what you did to deserve this kind of treatment. And the answer is nothing. The answer is forgiving yourself for every feeling and honoring your emotions. THAT is where the spirituality lies.
As the Five of Cups suggests, it is time to move on and forgive. But the only person you owe that to is yourself. And in time, once you’ve accepted your space and have healed properly, you may forgive your abuser. But, as the article above stresses, you don’t need to push yourself in that direction. Your fight/ flight/ flee responses will always try to protect you, and they don’t need to be shamed. Suffering through these responses by being around your abuser, just to prove you’ve forgiven them, is not helping anyone.
So, forgive from afar. Protect yourself and honor yourself first. You don’t owe anyone contact if it doesn’t serve you. Remember that, and stay witchy ( *)
Brought to you by a small bout of anxiety and depression, here is your WednesdayWisdoms exercise for the week!
Last post I fessed up about over-doing it on vacation and the spiral it led me down as a result. And under further investigation, I found that it is because I’ve strayed from my baseline routine.
There are certain things in everyone’s life that bring them joy and order. And when you abandon all of that for a certain length of time, you begin to float around in a sea of worry, not really realizing where you are in the ocean. And that’s because you pulled up your anchor.
Now the beauty of that, is that once you realize you’ve been floating aimlessly and that’s why you feel like shit, you can always drop anchor again! Now, what makes your anchor so sturdy?
For me, if I don’t have a steady diet, exercise, and meditation, I will go nuts. I will literally run off of the rails. And it’s very easily explainable. I don’t have proper nutrients to fuel my body, so I’m tired and feel gross, which means I don’t exercise. If I don’t exercise, I don’t get any endorphins, so I’m unhappy. And when I don’t meditate, I don’t clear a space in my head for my thoughts to pass through and it all becomes a screaming mess.
There are additional things, too. Like if I go too long without listening to an uplifting podcast (What’s the Tee with RuPaul and Michelle Visage and Your Kick Ass Life with Andrea Owen are my faves) or singing at the top of my lungs, I peter out as well.
So this week, I want you to observe your routine. What is it that maintains balance in your life? Is the morning cup of coffee from your Keurig an absolute staple? What about midday yoga? A certain TV show before you fall asleep? What brings happiness and order into your life?
Start naming these things and hold them at the highest importance. These are your new non-negotiables. No clients before coffee. No emails once you’ve turned on Golden Girls. Do not let these snippets of joy be compromised by anyone or anything. They are your baseline. They are your anchor.
So next time you feel an energy shift, do a check in with your routine. Have you been neglecting the things that provide order and happiness? Keep it together and stay witchy ( *)
I see this happen in women of every age. Myself, not so long ago, included. When we’ve lost what makes us happy, we become shells.
When you’re a child, you breeze through life with an extreme approach. Everything is pure whimsy, or complete destruction. Because you don’t know anything else.
And as we grow older, we start to collect ideas, values, and stories that shape our behavior. Rather than banging on a bunch of pots and pans in public, we don’t because we know it to be “rude.”
But sometimes, banging on pots and pans is necessary. If you love to sing, and don’t because you “can’t,” you’ll start to feel a growing emptiness inside. You’re punishing yourself for something you made up. And it’s literally as easy as turning on the Chicago soundtrack and belting out All That Jazz in your mirror (I did that last night ;))
I talked to a client yesterday and she said she doesn’t know what she loves anymore. She doesn’t know what flexes her creative muscles and sets her soul on fire. And while, yes, this is heartbreaking, I told her it didn’t have to stay this way. It’s just going to take some time to uncover her Starchild again and dust her off. And let me tell you, it’s worth it.
If I never did the work to find my authentic, shiny little Starchild, I would have never started a blog, nor have created this company in which I help women. I would still be feeling empty, dating the wrong men, picking the wrong jobs, and blaming it all on my bad luck. And let me tell you, suppressing your authentic self in order to do what you “should” and not make any waves in order to keep people liking you is EXHAUSTING.
I needed the message of the Hermit reversed, which asks you to look deep inside and find your inner voice. To find the laughing little girl that has been silenced by years of conditioning. I needed to give her a megaphone.
I needed to let her sing like the 6 of Cups suggests, pointing to your inner child and asking you to express childlike joy. And I’ll make one thing clear: it is hard and scary and uncomfortable at first. It almost feels wrong, because for decades that is what you’ve been telling yourself. But, girl, once you find your rhythm, it is pure magick from there on out.
So if you’ve been feeling unfulfilled as of late, start thinking about your personality as a five year old. Were you loud and brazen? Shy and creative? A mixture of both? Think back to childhood, stay tuned for more on Wednesday, and stay witchy ( *)
Do you have recurring dreams? Or do you just want some more insight into what your mind is trying to tell you?
Buy a pretty dream book and let’s get journaling!
I like to keep crystals and a dream journal on my night stand. I suggest that if you have recurring dreams you should, too. Having your dream journal handy when you wake up is essential for remembering what you dreamt.
Write down every single detail you can remember. Don’t worry about making sense of it now, just write it down.
Try to write a summary of the dream the best you can. Writing a storyline can also help you to figure out exactly what’s going on in there.
Once you’ve written down everything you can remember, I suggest just putting the book down until you have a weeks worth of dreams. Then the fun starts.
When you have a weeks worth, try to connect the dots. Is someone wearing a specific color? What do you associate that color with? Is someone saying something to you? What did they say? Can you see faces? Try to pick out themes from these observations.
Remember, dreams don’t have specific meanings. Your dream is like your own made up universe: you have created all of the language and metaphors. So if you look up in a dream book what a bridge means, it won’t mean the same thing to you, because that author hasn’t lived your life and collected your memories. This is an exercise in authenticity.
So what did you find? Did you explain some unexplainables? Or is there more exploring to do? If you need a helping hand and can’t figure out what your brain is trying to tell you, let me help you. Otherwise, keep journaling and stay witchy ( *)