ThursdayThinks: Ways to Exercise Boundaries in Business

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Want some tips on how to keep your personal flavor, while maintaining a business savvy?? It’s difficult to be an empath as an entrepreneur, but check out these tips to stay on top of the game!

  • Know your worth and align it in every practice: What do you think you’re ACTUALLY worth? Think about what your practice/ business affords the world, and lead with confidence around it.
  • Know when to cut the dialogue short: If you’re in the middle of being taken advantage of, in whatever the case, get yourself an exit strategy. Know how to identify when people are asking for too much (i.e. to a point of making you uncomfortable) and remember that you are allowed to not participate.
  • Set some ground rules, and don’t break ’em: It’s important to have a policy in place for your business, because when you come from an empathetic place (like I do) you want to do favors for everyone. Policies help set the standard.
  • Consistency is key: Remember when I said “don’t break ’em”? I mean it. To convey consistent policies is the only way to command respect, in your personal life AND your business.
  • Communicate effectively: Let your customers or clients know your policies in a firm manner! This can be hard for empaths, because we are sensitive ourselves, but firm (not rude!) communication is the real winner here.

Practicing these tips is not only going to help you run your business effectively, but it will amp up your energetic flow! This kind of confidence around the worth of your business will bring respectful customers and ideal clients to your doorstep! Practice carefully and stay witchy ( *)

When You’re Stuck in a Negative Energy Vacuum

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I have been in a situation that I will allude to cryptically, but it is not one I can easily walk away from. There are a lot of personalities that I’ve come across lately that include entitlement and plain disrespect, and it’s kind of turned my entire world upside down.

When faced with a barrage of negativity as a generally positive and peaceful person, I get affected. And lately I have started to question my core beliefs because of this. Is the universe echoing to me what I’m putting out? Is manifestation even real? How is it possible that I can let this get to me so completely?

Which is why this situation is affecting my world around me. I’m absorbing and regurgitating these bad juju’s and I’m having encounters with people that I’ve never had before. Negative, awful, run ins. When I thought I had reached the light at the end of the tunnel, I was dropped into quicksand. Everything is cycling around me and it’s hard to see past the spiral.

Before I go on, let me be clear, as an empath, I understand what being sensitive actually is. It is not being dramatic, it is not flipping out or being easily offended. It is exactly what it is defined as:

adjective quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences; (of a person or a person’s behavior) having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings.

Which is why, when I am disrespected, talked down to, and belittled, I get affected. No, it is not because I believe I am unworthy. I’ve been through that before and no one can tell me I am not good enough anymore. But it’s because I sense the place that the other person is coming from, and it is a point of pain and insecurity. It is a small and infantile energy that pokes and prods and I want nothing to do with it, yet I’m somehow confined to continue dealing with a toddler that keeps flipping the back of my neck.

So…

Which do you choose? The blue pill, or the red pill?

As a seeker of knowledge and truth, the red pill is not only attractive, it’s necessary for survival. I choose not to see a situation as an isolated interaction, but rather what it says about the entire environment. And because I choose to not live in ignorance, I have the power to step out of the matrix and redirect in a positive path.

I see the person who belittles as the small child that they are. Yes, it is annoying, but there is always a way out. It’s not my responsibility to parent the child, but it’s my responsibility to take care of myself. I ultimately can leave the playground if I choose to.

This involves Strength to see past the chaos of the Tower. Inevitably, the dissolution of this entire situation will bring more positivity than negativity, but it is up to me to dig myself out of the rubble. When something is not working, you either fix it, or accept that it is beyond repair.

So, witches, I have bad days too. I’ve had many in a row, actually. But I can get past them, and so can you, Stay strong, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Using Rage Constructively

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So, you’ve got fire in your eyes and rage in your belly. What now?

Here’s what you can do to help:

  1. DONATE:
    • You can donate to the victims of the Charlottesville attack via multiple GoFundMe pages. The victims of the car attack can be reached here, to donate to the man beaten by Nazi’s in a parking garage here, and to Natalie Romero, a victim without health insurance, here. You can also donate to the local NAACP chapter here, the Black Lives Matter chapter here,  Charlottesville’s only synagogue here, and the Charlottesville Pride community here.
  2.  Protest:
    • It is terrifying out there right now, and with the recent events in Charlottesville, people are afraid to protest white supremacists. Unfortunately, now more than ever, we need to gather peacefully to show that we are not afraid and will not be intimidated. There is power in numbers, and you can be one of them by joining here.
  3. Stop hatespeech:
    • When you hear an employer, coworker, parent, teacher, or racist uncle say something that is discriminatory, CALL THAT SHIT OUT. Silence is violence. It is perpetuating that it is ok to use hate speech. People will do whatever they want so long as no one says anything, so SAY SOMETHING.
  4. Use the words White Supremacist and Nazi frequently:
    • This is not “alt right” or “nationalism.” Nazi’s hide behind terms like these to cloak what they actually are. Using the correct rhetoric fights denial. Call it out whenever you can.
  5. If you are a parent, educate your child:
    • Beliefs start at home, and preaching love and acceptance to your children will instill a moral compass that deters them from this scary, repugnant hate. Keep an eye on your young ones and educate, educate, educate.
  6. Write your representatives:
    • Are you outraged? Write the right people here. Demand equal and fair police protection. Update them on what is going on in your district. Complain about the president. Whatever it is that you have to say, tell them. They are called representatives for a reason; tell them who and how to represent.

There is a lot we can do, as a community, to start making change. Nothing gets done by sitting idly by. Get active, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Reaching Out vs. Attention Seeking

img_3108As someone who previously felt shame in asking for help, I have a lot of experience in this area.

I used to think that if I couldn’t conquer something on my own, I was a failure. And not even just day to day tasks. In fact, I would internalize my emotional problems to the point of many sicknesses, because I thought that if I needed help dealing, I was crazy.

This, in turn, manifested in a lot of “acting out.” Crying when drunk, doing a bunch of drugs, easy sex, the list goes on. I was seeking attention because I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.

But here’s the secret: Asking for help isn’t shameful. Everyone needs help at some point in their life.

And now, that’s why I do what I do. I help those in need. I help rectify bad judgement and steer clients away from dangerous behavior. Because that was me.

So, are you acting as the Knight of Swords reversed? Acting out in a hasty and impulsive manner? Are you noticing that you are creating drama in order to get noticed? Is it because you can’t ask for help and are hoping these outlandish behaviors will force you into it? Is that really easier?

Or are you so ashamed that you’d rather impose your own isolation, as in the Four of Cups? Is there so much guilt involved in whatever you need help with, that you’d rather vanish all together?

I’ll say it again,  because it needs to be written in stone. Asking for help ISN’T SHAMEFUL.  It is actually an act of courage. It means you’d rather not walk around the subject in tragic circles, and instead point directly at the problem. It means that you are willing to stand up for yourself and do whatever it takes. It means there is too much bullshit in the world for you to create more that doesn’t need to be there. It means you’re a fighter.

So, if this speaks to you at all, I’m calling on you to reach out. Pick up the phone, and call a friend and talk. Spill your guts out and have a conversation about whatever is bothering you. This is not your cross to bear, and friends are there to listen. Friends don’t want you to struggle alone. And hopefully your friend can point you in the right direction for the help you need. And if that happens to be a life coach, you know where to find me. Stay witchy ( *)

 

 

When is Passing Judgement Conducive to Your Life?

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No one likes to be labeled as judgmental. In fact, in a world of shaming and prejudice, it is an extremely frowned upon characteristic to hold.

But…

We need to utilize judgement in our daily practice in order to keep our covens strong and weed out the bad magic in our lives.

For example, when I see someone who is surrounded by drug use, I become hyper aware. Knowing what it is like to be an active addict from the inside out helps me to understand the degree of manipulation and the lack of control that goes hand in hand with this practice. It automatically casts a shadow of distrust and skepticism in my eyes. Am I assuming the worst? No. Do I proceed with caution? Absolutely.

See, I think the term judgement that we throw around embodies more of a hater ideology. It doesn’t come from a place of thinking that I’m better than someone for what they choose to do with their body, but I am using judgement as a tool to discern whether or not I want to keep this person close to me.

As a person with core values, I like to keep my coven tight knit with people who cherish similar morals and respect boundaries. It makes me uncomfortable to see people who do not have boundaries, and so I choose to keep them at an arms distance.

There is this awesome coach, Randi Buckley, who uses a garden as a metaphor for boundaries. She describes it as having many different concentric circles, and certain people are only allowed to a particular layer before their boundary is set in front of them. You wouldn’t have the same boundaries with a stranger on the street as you would with your mother, so there are different layers within your garden for different people who come into your life. I feel that this is an awesome way to illustrate the idea of boundaries in your mind, because you aren’t looking to shut everyone out, you’re looking to protect the beautiful bush of red roses at the core of the garden.

But in order to understand which layer people belong in, we have to use judgement. We have to be able to see what people can bring to nourish the soil in order to allow them a certain distance into the garden. If all they are doing is tromping on the flowers, we put up a fence. And judgement is a good tool to use to distinguish the weeds from the gardeners.

So when you use judgement, don’t let it consume you and turn into hate. That isn’t the point of the tool. Use it to protect yourself and create healthy relationships. You will be stronger for it. Protect your garden and stay witchy ( *)