WednesdayWisdoms: Releasing the Negative

IMG_2022

When shitty things happen to you, and they will through the course of your life, you have two clear routes to take. As discussed in the previous post, you can turn to whiney victimhood, or to raw vulnerability that helps you move on in an organic way.

But before you get to this fork in the road, there is a long stretch of grieving. Some of us know how to grieve, in fact, we’re seasoned professionals. Some of us others, however, would rather push the grief down or aside until it takes the wheel as an act of rebellion,  and we’re forced down the road of panicky, inconsistent victimhood.

So for all of the events, people, pets, homes, jobs, or traumas you never got to grieve, I have an exercise in purging some of the anger that leads us down the back alley of victimhood.

We’re going to write down everything we wish we could have said “no” to.

I suggest Post-it notes or index cards. You want to write each specific event on a card of it’s own. We aren’t making a list, we’re giving individual space to each shitty life event.

There is no need to journal on this either. Give your event a title, and as you write it down, imagine what it would look like if you could have said “no” to this particular event.

Then, for each card, I want you to burn it (safely!) over an open flame. As you do, say the following:

“I cannot change the past, but I can re-route my future. I accept the reality of the present, and release my anger towards ___________”

This should help to begin a revolutionary healing process. Acceptance is the final stage of grief in the Kübler- Ross Grief Cycle. But we must move through the other six stages in order to get there.

What I find people hang on to the most in grief is guilt and anger. This ritual should alleviate some of those feelings so you can continue your journey inward, and then onward. Stay strong, and, as always, stay witchy ( *)

It’s Not “Fine”

ace-of-cups-reversed

I’m sure you’ve either done this or have had a friend do this before: when something truly upsets them they shrug it off and go “it’s fine.”

Well that is total bullshit.

As the Ace of Cups signifies blocked or repressed emotions, it is IMPERATIVE that we address what is wrong instead of shrugging our shoulders. Saying things are fine when they are not are a huge sign of pushing down feelings and being dismissive.

When someone asks you if you are OK and you aren’t, but you really don’t want to talk about it (with this person or at all) it’s perfectly reasonable to say you aren’t ready. But when you shrug your shoulders to YOURSELF and bottle your emotions, baby, you’re in real trouble.

I used to be the best at this. I would pretend I was fine (in fabulously dramatic fashion) and then drink to feel my feelings. I know, most people drink to numb, I drank to be a hot crying mess.

I would bottle up this whirlwind of sadness, and unfortunately, it cannot be contained. Emotions are energy. They never die. And to ignore them is a pretty fatal mistake. They will manifest in one way or another. Whether its emotional or physical, they will find a way to come out of hiding.

The best thing to do is find support. Whether your tribe/ coven lies in group meetings, family, friends, or coworkers, you need to talk to someone when something is bothering you. It could be as silly as a boy not texting you back, to as extreme as a loved one passing away. But whatever the emotional freakout is about, you can’t keep it living inside your head. That little monster will end up taking the wheel, and you want to be in control of your life and your emotions. Give yourself a chance to cry and feel. Be vulnerable with who you trust. This will give you the strength to move forward, rather than in a downward spiral. Get real and stay witchy ( *)

 

Creativity is Healing

ace_of_cups_card_by_enchantress_lele-d54bfjn

Symbolizing creativity while letting your emotions shine through, the Ace of Cups has water over flowing with spiritual awakenings.

Being creative is an important part of every persons life. Whether you think you are traditionally creative or not, you possess the ability to have creative expression.

I, for one, have always been creative. As a child, I played piano for 10 years, guitar for 4, wrote music, sang, wrote stories, painted, drew, and invented made up companies and toys. My childhood was full of creation, but after a 4 year long stint with drug addiction, followed by trying to get my shit together (pretty unsuccessfully,) I lost a lot of my creative practice.

When I lived in LA, I at least sang frequently. Karaoke nights were a big thing for me and my friends. Driving in the car I would belt out my favorite songs, stuck in traffic with the windows rolled down. But moving to New York halted a lot of that. You can’t really sing out loud on the train, unless you want people to think you’re crazy.

Meeting a creative pause did a lot to me, though I didn’t know it. When you feel unfulfilled, you can’t exactly pinpoint what is missing until you find it again. Writing this blog has helped me fill in some gaps that were missing for a while.

Thankfully though, this year has been truly enlightening. I have implemented a lot more hobbies so I don’t feel like I’m wasting away in the hustle. I’m currently sewing pillows. I’m creating jewelry again. And I make a point to sing out loud whenever possible.

You see, you don’t have to have a good voice, dance well, paint well, or whatever to be creative. If you are type A and work in a corporate environment, innovating new procedures can be a form or creativity. Coloring is a form of being creative. Watching new movies and reading books can serve as a creative outlet. These things are important, and they not only can heal you when you are down, but can unlock so many hidden gems inside you.

Harnessing your inner creative bad bitch will provide your life with balance. No one should live a life without the beauty of creative expression. So turn on iTunes and dance like no one is watching. Get creative, stay creative, and stay witchy ( *)