I grow and evolve and for each full moon, I feel the skin shed and a new layer being introduced to the world.
As I write this, I am headed to an event where I will be reading tarot for a bunch of beautiful souls, looking for clarification in this emotional, deep, and glorious Scorpio Full Moon.
Us Scorpios don’t fuck around. We penetrate the shadow, and help to uncover pain, while healing it intuitively. Having this gift and an affinity for the shadow, I just feel so blessed to be able to read within this energy!
But I have a confession, I am nervous!
Which brings me to the topic of conversation for todays reflection: Fear.
Just because I do this professionally doesn’t mean I don’t have fear around public events. Or even going live in videos. Or even DM’s.
There’s always a tinge of “What if someone doesn’t like my interpretation?”
“What if they don’t understand my message?”
“What if I get judged?”
But the beauty in all of this, is that as the fear never goes away, it does SHRINK.
When I first started WitchyWisdoms, I knew it was something I had to do as a soul mission. Even though it scared the daylights out of me.
And every move forward I have had fear, but it has become less and less the more I prove to myself that I can do it, no matter what.
Fear doesn’t disappear, but learning to navigate around it and cope within it is so essential on this Full Moon. As we grow, we love all parts of ourselves. Pain and all.
Use this Full Moon spread to find your pain point, and understand how it serves you. My fears always kept me safe, because if I listened to them, I could avoid judgement. But the growth of working through them is worth so much more.
Happy Full Moon babies. Get deep and stay witchy ( *)
Baby it’s cold outside and we’re upon the shortest day of the year, known as the Winter Solstice, or by Pagans as Yule. This day marks the point in the year where, from here on out, the days begin to grow and the Sun makes it’s return. The underlying themes of this glorious Pagan holiday are gratitude, introspection, and planning, and that is exactly what we’ll be reflecting on today.
For this exercise, take three pieces of paper out. On the first, list everything you are grateful for from the past year. Then, on the second, take a personal inventory of how much you’ve grown from the beginning of 2017. Write out a timeline and see if you can mark off your personal growth through the months.
Next, as I explained in my email blast, this is where it get’s interesting.
From your growth’s trajectory, I want you to see if you can derive some values from the direction you’ve been heading. Have you been paying more attention to self care? Have you acted more courageously? Have you only kept those that are loyal close to you?
These characteristics are the things that you hold close, and should serve as your guidepost to intentionally move into 2018.
So from here, flip that paper over and write out your goals for 2018, but try to align them with the values you’ve carved out for yourself.
This is just a taste of the kind of work we’ll be doing in my new group program, starting January 2018, Resolve to Revolutionize. Check it out so you can start your year right, and stay witchy ( *)
Featuring an Oracle Card from the deck I’m working on (very slowly) with @tamalgoth! Samhain, as most of you here know, is the Pagan New Year. It is a time for reflection and intention setting, with the veil of the living and the dead at it’s thinnest. I was in Montreal, the most haunted town in Canada, for this Halloween/ Samhain, and didn’t get much time to reflect until the plane ride home yesterday.
This year has been a lot of learning and boundary setting. Strengthening my boundaries and respect for myself has helped me to grow and learn further. It has helped me to empower myself in ways I couldn’t imagine. And it has also helped me to let go of things that don’t serve me, even if they are emotions in a situation that I cannot change.
Whether it was dating and realizing more of what I need in a man, or switching up side hustles and realizing what is truly important for something that just fills my pockets, there have been a lot of lessons, some down times, some upward bumps, and mainly self reflection and independence.
So, if you haven’t already, I invite you to do some reflections yourself. Start with October 2016, and make a list of each month leading up to this past Samhain. Write a short summary of what happened in each month, and next to it write the lesson.
Did you achieve something? Lose something? Have a rough time? Take a respite? Find the highlights through each month and look for the over arching message within it. If you’re having trouble, you can even pull a card on the message of the month 😉
When we take full inventory of our year, it helps to show us how much we’ve actually grown. We all tend to take for granted our achievements and growth spurts, so take some time for yourself to reflect before setting new intentions for the year to come. Stay grateful, and stay witchy ( *)
Season 2, Episode 2 is live! In this interview, I get acquainted with creativity coach and inspiration for women in mid-life, Sue Lyon-Myrick! We talk about finding your passion after children and using a smart phone camera to capture daily inspiration. Find her on Instagram under @suelyonmyrick_creative or through her program the Reignite Your Life E-Course!
Listen up and stay witchy ( *)
Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)
Episode 9 is live! Here you’ll meet Dr. Meredith Watson, an incredibly bubbly alchemist who will help you grow your business with integrity! If you’d like to follow up with Meredith you can find her at her Confidence Lounge(along with me!) and at her virtual villa!
In honor of my mothers birthday today, I’d like to explore the ups and downs of a mother-daughter relationship. Such a unique bond is special, and whether you weren’t, aren’t, were or are close with your mother, this is a story I think we can all appreciate.
My mother and I have had quite a ride together. I was always searching for attention and affection, and through my teenage years that kind of behavior turned destructive. I was not your typical teenager, with changing hormones and training bras. I was all of that, but I was also a drug addict suffering from depression.
My relationship with my mother at this time tore apart at the seams. And of course it did. I was crying out for help because of psychological disorders, but instead of accepting the help when it was offered, I ran into the arms of a drug dealer and decided to worsen the problem.
From the first sign of trouble, my mother brought me to a psychologist. I was deep into a punk rock phase at the time, rich with music and creating fashion, but I was horribly sad. I walked into the doctors office and immediately hated this woman because she couldn’t possibly understand me. She made me do this exercise where I was supposed to guess what the potted plants behind me looked like and I rolled my eyes so hard that I gave myself a headache. I told my mom I didn’t want to go back. She said OK, and we talked.
My mom always tried to talk to me. She always extended her arms. But I just wasn’t having it. I liked to isolate and I found solace in drugs. Not shortly after that first therapy session, I found cocaine. Which turned to meth. Which turned to complete and utter destruction.
I was extremely young when I found drugs. And I am not blaming my teenage self for how I acted. I was a child from 13-17 who was totally lost.
I sure as hell don’t blame my mother. She tried with all of her compassionate and motherly might to help me. But what do you do with a wild animal who is constantly getting arrested? I sure as hell don’t know.
So through all of this, as soon as she saw some light in my eyes at the beginning of my recovery, she was right there. She was also there to pick me up from jail and to bring me to court appointments, but when I came home from being kicked out with real sincerity in my eyes, I had my mother back.
She let me sleep in her bed when I went through withdrawals. She supported me in every way that she could. But even after being clean, I just kept getting into trouble.
At some point, it was time to take responsibility for myself and get my shit together. Getting older and getting through college gave me some wisdom enough to do that. But even still, as I’m sure you’ve gathered from previous posts, it was not all rosey.
I put a heavy strain on my relationship with my mother. I have accepted full responsibility for that. At the time I was convinced that it was because she didn’t love me enough and that I had terrible parents. But now, knowing about that symptom of codependency that breeds manipulation and projection, it is clear to see that she loved me more than anything. It was me who didn’t love me.
When I first left for New York, I had my shit pretty tight. I saved up 10 grand to move, I graduated college, I set up an apartment in the city. Things were looking up. That was really my new beginning, and boy has it been a journey. But what the real amazing part was how much my relationship with my mother strengthened.
As I started to find myself, little rays of self love started to shine through. Anger turned into forgiveness. Blame turned into accountability. And hate into love and appreciation. I started to call my mother every day. I started to listen to her advice. I started to hear the compassion in her words that was always there, but ignored by self sabotage.
When she came to visit me when I was still with my then-boyfriend, we had more fun together then we ever had. And when I took her to Grand Central, my favorite site in NYC, we sat under that beautiful, sea green astrological mural and had one of the most important conversations of our relationship.
She asked me if I used to hate her.
We both started crying. I mean, how could a mother think her daughter hated her. And to the best of my ability at the time, I tried to explain that I’m sure I thought I did, but who I really hated was myself. We hugged, dried our eyes, and realized that we had crossed a threshold into a real bond. We were in an adult mother-daughter relationship.
I call my mother every day. She is the single most important woman in my life. And while I still stand by the fact that we aren’t the best roommates, I would never trade that I am able to stay so close in contact with her even though I am 3,000 miles away.
Boundaries and respect are important in any relationship. And once we were able (or I was willing) to do that for us, we have become closer than ever. She is the epitome of the Empress in my eyes. Happy birthday mom, stay witchy ( *)
Hello witchy readers! Welcome to a three part series that is basically an open book worksheet in self- awareness. In this three-parter I’m going to sift through and discover some traits that I possess that are holding me back, traits that I admire, and how to move into my ultimate awesome self by employing some self help skills. I invite you all to do this along with me, cards or not.
Lately in my daily readings I have been having strong emotional reactions to cards that illustrate some of my shortcomings (no one is perfect,) and in the spirit of getting curious, I thought I would openly sift through the clutter in the hopes that it may help a few of you as well. Within this series, I’m going to be using cards to illustrate certain qualities. Not that these cards or qualities should be shamed in any way because of their context, but to help drive the point further.I want to make this clear: these cards do not definitively mean what I have associated them with. They are merely my interpretations to fit my life and my story. If they show up in a reading for you, they can mean something entirely different.
Now lets dive in.
Overcome by Anxiety
So at first glance we see the suit of swords popping up frequently, one Major Arcana, and a reversed court card. The suit of swords deals with the mental level of consciousness; intellect, action, and change. Major Arcana cards represent large life lessons or obstacles. Kings represent a strong, powerful, male influence within the suit.
The Two of Swords represents how I block my feelings. After many bad experiences, I have created a wall around myself to protect me. Not in the way of healthy boundaries, but in order to not let anyone in. I see myself do this in the way of self sabotage.
The Ten of Swords represents how easy it is for me to fall into self pity. I have an easier time recognizing the triggers now, but when things are not going well, I tend to fall down the rabbit hole.
The Eight of Swords represents a lack of direction. This isn’t actually representative of myself, but it’s a trigger for anxiety. I feel as though if I don’t have a plan, everything will go to shit and the world will be set on fire. This fear is hindering at times.
The Moon represents being overcome by anxieties. This Major Arcana card also reinforces the previous in the theme of confusion. When my anxieties take a hold of me, I become completely derailed and focus only on the negative.
The King of Wands reversed is a big one for me. He represents impulsiveness. I have written before about acting with intention over impulse, and he is the inspiration. My anxiety drives me to act impulsively, and this is something I have been working on as of late.
At the end of the day, I do not want to be a closed off hermit who wraps herself in a blanket of anxieties and never experiences happiness because I am getting in my own way. While that is an extreme metaphor, if it weren’t for self help and doing the work, it’s not far from what could actually happen. Through tarot and self help, I am discovering (and can help you discover!) the biggest obstacles in the way of enlightenment and happiness. And the coolest part about this exercise is that these cards were all in my spread today when asking to show my shortcomings. The cards can be very honest when you listen properly.Stay tuned in two days for part 2 and stay witchy ( *)