Where Are You In Your Journey Season 2!!

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witchywisdoms.com

Season 2, Episode 1 is live! In this interview, I get acquainted with life coach and body posi queen Rachel Spencer! We talk about injecting creativity into your business, using Instagram authentically, and seeing art everywhere. Find her on instagram under @mylifecoachrachel or at MyLifeCoachRachel.com

Listen up and stay witchy ( *)

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Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)

 

 

Eliminating Shame from Sexuality

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When there is shame surrounding a topic, it takes something that should be beautiful and makes it seedy. It strips away all of the magic. It creates a dark air around it. And this is just as true for sex as any other taboo subject.

So, what can we do to eliminate the shame surrounding sex? How can we embrace our sexuality and live as sacred sexual beings day to day? Follow these tips to replace shame with confidence:

  1. Watch porn that suits you: 
    • A lot of the reason why people feel shame around sex is because they can’t relate themselves to feeling sexy. It’s almost as if it’s off limits because they subconsciously can’t see themselves as deserving. If this is part of your problem, I suggest watching porn with people that look like you that do what you like. There is so much on the internet with people of all colors, sexual preferences, body types, etc, that empowers the art of pleasure on every conceivable level. Watching realistic porn, instead of overly aggressive porn-star-porn, might help to add an inclusionary ideal to your own sex life.
  2. When appropriate, talk about it:
    • There’s nothing that takes the air out of a shame-tire like plain old words. Start talking about sex freely. Ask your girlfriends what their experiences are like. Ask your partner what they enjoy between the sheets. Open the dialogue and ask questions. Secrets are the main food source for shame, so take away it’s meal plan and start talking about it!
  3. Masterbate:
    • Getting acquainted with your body and learning what sets you on fire is a great way to eliminate shame. Our bodies are wired to react a certain way to stimulation. It’s natural! So learn what get’s you off and be proud of it!
  4. Confront what makes you uncomfortable: 
    • Do you shudder when you hear the word “vagina?” Do you want to run and hide at the idea of anal? What makes you want to duck for cover? Start taking note of your reactions to sex-related things and then do your research. I find that the more educated you are on a subject, the more comfortable you’ll feel about it.
  5. Allow yourself to feel sexy:
    • Dressing sexy is a big thing for me. I feel empowered when I can flaunt my sexuality and own it. However, that may be too bold for some. In that case, there are a myriad of more subtle approaches. Wear a new shade of lipstick, challenge yourself to wear a pair of heels, or sport some lingerie under your jeans and t-shirt. There are many undercover ways to embrace your inner goddess, and implementing them into your daily life will start to push shame out of the way.

Follow these tips at your own pace and you will start to see a shift from guilt to acceptance. Sex is a natural and beautiful thing, and as long as you do it with respect and consent, there is nothing to be ashamed of! Get your sexy on and stay witchy ( *)

Great Sexpectations (and the Shame Game)

When we’re talking about something as taboo as sex, we (as a society) tend to get a little uncomfortable. When we include shame in the dialogue, things get thrust into the shadows and we can’t celebrate our kinks. And what fun is that??

As a major proponent for open communication, I think it is equally as important in the bedroom as anywhere else. There is a 50/ 50 chance that your first time with a partner won’t be mind blowing, and that’s ok! True intimacy is a deep knowing of another, and that comes with time, and, plainly, opening your mouth (no pun intended.)

It is much more of a process for women to orgasm than men, and because of a conditioned shame towards sex and pleasure throughout our lives, some of us find it hard to communicate to our partner exactly what gets us going. Instead of empowering ourselves sexually, we’ll get in our heads and predict that it’s going to be “weird” to talk about, and then we live in an unfulfilled romance. We just expect things to get better magically, without thinking that you have to put forth some effort for the magic to happen.

To be honest, I am appalled that there are still women who fake orgasms. You’re not only doing yourself a wild injustice, but your partner is going to falsely walk around thinking they’re the shit. And every subsequent partner they have is going to fall victim to super disappointing sex. That’s just poor community service.

Instead, channel the Queen of Cups and gently express your pointers. Just as there are women who have shame surrounding the mere fact that they can’t get off easily, men have shame surrounding the fact that they aren’t Casanova straight out of the womb. By effectively communicating, you and your partner (whether it’s a one night stand or a ten year marriage) can have an incredibly connected experience. You’re both dedicating the time, so why not do it right?

The Two of Cups represents a point of intimacy that is unified. It takes two to tango, so why not be all inclusive? Your partner isn’t feeling the same sensations that you are, so clue them in. Talk them through it, and listen to what they have to say as well. When you are supplying pleasure for each other, there becomes a circulation of energy that is out of this freaking world, and sex becomes so much better than you could ever imagine.

Have you ever been lying underneath someone as they were tediously plowing away and all you could do was think about all of the laundry that was piling up in your closet? Well, consciously or not, your partner receives that message that you aren’t present. So one person is doing all of the work (poorly) and the end result is lackluster and boring. If you took initiative and consciously created a safe space where you two could be open, communicative, and wild,  you could reap the benefits of an incredibly cosmic experience. Don’t commit yourself to a life of bad sex; you deserve all of the pleasure in the world. Speak up and stay witchy ( *)

 

WednesdayWisdoms: Taking it Easy

For all my high achievers out there, I know it is hard to take some time to relax and enjoy yourselves. I know we can’t all go on expensive vacations around the world, but we can at least dedicate a few hours to ourselves out of our week to take it easy.

This week, I want you to pick one day and block off a few hours. Do a mud mask. Take a bath. Workout and then meditate. Watch Orange is the New Black. Any activity you want, but just be sure to dedicate it to yourself, sans interruptions. You deserve to kick back, so carve out the time! It is possible. I promise.

Set out a schedule of your week and see what you can move around to make it happen. Can you do laundry after work one day in order to free up some time on Sunday? Do it. Make time for yourself and structure your week accordingly. Your soul will thank you.

Stay mindful of your own time, and stay witchy ( *)

Taking Vacations

Hello witches! This week I am on V A C A T I O N *****

My little sister graduated so we went to watch her walk the stage in Northern California, have road-tripped down to Vegas (where I am currently) and will be heading back to my home town of little old Los Angeles on Wednesday for a few days.

Currently, I am embracing the Nine of Pentacles by enjoying the fruits of my labor. I have been working my buns off and now it is time to enjoy some fun in the sun 🙂

The Three of Cups is all about celebration and community, and being around my family has all of my wishes fulfilled. It’s hard to live so far away from them, but it makes the time we have together so much more special.

I hope you are all enjoying your summer. Stay witchy ( *) !!

Losing Your Starchild

I see this happen in women of every age. Myself, not so long ago, included. When we’ve lost what makes us happy, we become shells.

When you’re a child, you breeze through life with an extreme approach. Everything is pure whimsy, or complete destruction. Because you don’t know anything else.

And as we grow older, we start to collect ideas, values, and stories that shape our behavior. Rather than banging on a bunch of pots and pans in public, we don’t because we know it to be “rude.”

But sometimes, banging on pots and pans is necessary. If you love to sing, and don’t because you “can’t,” you’ll start to feel a growing emptiness inside. You’re punishing yourself for something you made up. And it’s literally as easy as turning on the Chicago soundtrack and belting out All That Jazz in your mirror (I did that last night ;))

I talked to a client yesterday and she said she doesn’t know what she loves anymore. She doesn’t know what flexes her creative muscles and sets her soul on fire. And while, yes, this is heartbreaking, I told her it didn’t have to stay this way. It’s just going to take some time to uncover her Starchild again and dust her off.  And let me tell you, it’s worth it.

If I never did the work to find my authentic, shiny little Starchild, I would have never started a blog, nor have created this company in which I help women. I would still be feeling empty, dating the wrong men, picking the wrong jobs, and blaming it all on my bad luck. And let me tell you, suppressing your authentic self in order to do what you “should” and not make any waves in order to keep people liking you is EXHAUSTING.

I needed the message of the Hermit reversed, which asks you to look deep inside and find your inner voice. To find the laughing little girl that has been silenced by years of conditioning. I needed to give her a megaphone.

I needed to let her sing like the 6 of Cups suggests, pointing to your inner child and asking you to express childlike joy. And I’ll make one thing clear: it is hard and scary and uncomfortable at first. It almost feels wrong, because for decades that is what you’ve been telling yourself. But, girl, once you find your rhythm, it is pure magick from there on out.

So if you’ve been feeling unfulfilled as of late, start thinking about your personality as a five year old. Were you loud and brazen? Shy and creative? A mixture of both? Think back to childhood, stay tuned for more on Wednesday, and stay witchy ( *)