As someone who previously felt shame in asking for help, I have a lot of experience in this area.
I used to think that if I couldn’t conquer something on my own, I was a failure. And not even just day to day tasks. In fact, I would internalize my emotional problems to the point of many sicknesses, because I thought that if I needed help dealing, I was crazy.
This, in turn, manifested in a lot of “acting out.” Crying when drunk, doing a bunch of drugs, easy sex, the list goes on. I was seeking attention because I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.
But here’s the secret: Asking for help isn’t shameful. Everyone needs help at some point in their life.
And now, that’s why I do what I do. I help those in need. I help rectify bad judgement and steer clients away from dangerous behavior. Because that was me.
So, are you acting as the Knight of Swords reversed? Acting out in a hasty and impulsive manner? Are you noticing that you are creating drama in order to get noticed? Is it because you can’t ask for help and are hoping these outlandish behaviors will force you into it? Is that really easier?
Or are you so ashamed that you’d rather impose your own isolation, as in the Four of Cups? Is there so much guilt involved in whatever you need help with, that you’d rather vanish all together?
I’ll say it again, because it needs to be written in stone. Asking for help ISN’T SHAMEFUL. It is actually an act of courage. It means you’d rather not walk around the subject in tragic circles, and instead point directly at the problem. It means that you are willing to stand up for yourself and do whatever it takes. It means there is too much bullshit in the world for you to create more that doesn’t need to be there. It means you’re a fighter.
So, if this speaks to you at all, I’m calling on you to reach out. Pick up the phone, and call a friend and talk. Spill your guts out and have a conversation about whatever is bothering you. This is not your cross to bear, and friends are there to listen. Friends don’t want you to struggle alone. And hopefully your friend can point you in the right direction for the help you need. And if that happens to be a life coach, you know where to find me. Stay witchy ( *)