When I was in my teens I always thought “tragic” was such a glamorous word. There was something about pain that was so beautiful, so comfortable to me. But, reflecting on those years, I see now that it is only because it was the only world I knew. Tragic HAD to be beautiful, because otherwise my foundation would crumble. As a former drug addict, if my addiction couldn’t be seen as “cool,” or my pain as “pretty,” then I’d have to clean up and rebuild.
So, this week’s ThursdayThinks, featuring yet another Oracle Card from my Modern Goddess Oracle Deck (illustrated by @tamalgoth) I’ve decided to list some words that SHOULD be glamorized for those that need it. Feel free to post yours in the comments <3
Some of these words might even be your core values, or may inspire you to live fully. Use this list when you feel down and begin to do things that aren’t aligned with your soul, but with tragedy. I implore you, if “tragic” is something you feel akin to, take this list and start looking up, because when the Tower crumbles, new beginnings emerge. Stay witchy, beautiful ones ( *)
Season 2, Episode 6 is live! In this interview, I get acquainted with Jocelyn Zahn! We talk about diet culture, using creativity in the kitchen, and how changing your diet can help beat depression. Find her on Instagram or on her website!
Listen up and stay witchy ( *)
Tune in below and on iTunes, and be sure to subscribe and leave a rating!!! ( *)
I have been in a situation that I will allude to cryptically, but it is not one I can easily walk away from. There are a lot of personalities that I’ve come across lately that include entitlement and plain disrespect, and it’s kind of turned my entire world upside down.
When faced with a barrage of negativity as a generally positive and peaceful person, I get affected. And lately I have started to question my core beliefs because of this. Is the universe echoing to me what I’m putting out? Is manifestation even real? How is it possible that I can let this get to me so completely?
Which is why this situation is affecting my world around me. I’m absorbing and regurgitating these bad juju’s and I’m having encounters with people that I’ve never had before. Negative, awful, run ins. When I thought I had reached the light at the end of the tunnel, I was dropped into quicksand. Everything is cycling around me and it’s hard to see past the spiral.
Before I go on, let me be clear, as an empath, I understand what being sensitive actually is. It is not being dramatic, it is not flipping out or being easily offended. It is exactly what it is defined as:
adjective quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences; (of a person or a person’s behavior) having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings.
Which is why, when I am disrespected, talked down to, and belittled, I get affected. No, it is not because I believe I am unworthy. I’ve been through that before and no one can tell me I am not good enough anymore. But it’s because I sense the place that the other person is coming from, and it is a point of pain and insecurity. It is a small and infantile energy that pokes and prods and I want nothing to do with it, yet I’m somehow confined to continue dealing with a toddler that keeps flipping the back of my neck.
Which do you choose? The blue pill, or the red pill?
As a seeker of knowledge and truth, the red pill is not only attractive, it’s necessary for survival. I choose not to see a situation as an isolated interaction, but rather what it says about the entire environment. And because I choose to not live in ignorance, I have the power to step out of the matrix and redirect in a positive path.
I see the person who belittles as the small child that they are. Yes, it is annoying, but there is always a way out. It’s not my responsibility to parent the child, but it’s my responsibility to take care of myself. I ultimately can leave the playground if I choose to.
This involves Strength to see past the chaos of the Tower. Inevitably, the dissolution of this entire situation will bring more positivity than negativity, but it is up to me to dig myself out of the rubble. When something is not working, you either fix it, or accept that it is beyond repair.
So, witches, I have bad days too. I’ve had many in a row, actually. But I can get past them, and so can you, Stay strong, and stay witchy ( *)
The title of this post is not an endorsement, nor is it something I intended to do. But, let’s face it, this work is a 24/7/365 JOB.
Even as someone who has made this into my line of work and the source of my creativity, I must make a constant, valiant effort to keep it in the forefront of my mind. And now, it’s confession time, because when I took my vacation in June, I ended up taking off from everything.
I am inherently impulsive and emotional. Not the greatest combination, especially when you throw a lot of your personal work to the wind. Constant celebration and parties tend to blur what’s important and shove it into the background. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing.
Shown by the Eight of Wands, a card of whirlwind speed and haste, you can get caught up in glitz of it all and forget what you’ve been fighting all of this time for.
Although my business (and my brain!) is important to me, I’ve had a lot of bad days during my vacation and over the holiday. It has been harder for me to bounce back than usual. And I’ll tell you why:
Your inner critic, inner demons, inner monsters, whatever you want to call them, will always be inside your head. Your job, in order to stay sane and healthy, is to pump up your inner cheerleader, so she’s much louder than those voices, and to shout them into submission. When you don’t stay on top of that, those little gremlin bastards creep closer and closer to the very front of your mind until they are all you can see, and then we begin to spiral.
This is how easy it is to fall back into depression and anxiety, as noted by the Nine of Swords.
Now the magic here, is, noticing when that happens. I felt a slip, and I have to tell you, with the amount of work that I’ve done on myself in recent years, my bounce back time was a fraction of what it used to be. I recognized old patterns, nipped it in the bud, and now I’m back to magical old Shawney.
My point of this, though, is to stress the importance of staying on top of your game. When you’re on vacation, listen to your body and your intuition. Make sure they have a voice, and respect yourself. You don’t need to throw caution into the gutter to have a great time! In fact, if you stay on your shit, you’ll preserve it and save yourself the guilt and shame! So remember from my mistakes next time you want to let loose, and as always, stay witchy ( *)
Brought to you by an epiphany during my latest vacation home, here is a break down of the power of sadness:
Let me tell you, from pure experience, that sadness and desperation is a stench. It’s an obvious aura that is just plain freaking unattractive. Harsh, right?
Well in simple terms, your inside dictates your outside. When you feel sad and need constant validation that you are worthy of love, your actions will mimic this feeling. Your unintentional belief that you are not enough will cause this obvious energy that no one (except for two kinds of people) will flock to.
Who are they? Let’s look at exhibit A: The Sick Girls (aka the Pack)
Like attracts like, and when your idea of yourself is something sad and invaluable, you will most likely fall into a group of negative girls that think the same thing about themselves. Together you’ll harness all of this sick, negative energy, and then direct it outwards to people who don’t deserve it. You will be giving out a direct reflection of yourself onto innocent bystanders. The attraction of these kinds of girls is involuntary; it’s almost as if you all smelled the same scent on each other to know you are the same species.
And then there is exhibit B: The Unattainable Man (aka the Predator)
This is a man who would love to sleep with you during a one night stand and then never answer a text. And lets unpack this real quick, because I am an EXPERT in this area. First off, when you are sloppy drunk and looking to cut corners in love by grabbing the first guy to give you a side eye and taking him home, you are not only completely ignoring quality, but you aren’t valuing yourself and what you deserve. This, might I add, is completely different than doing it on your own terms and knowing exactly what you’re getting into (i.e. NOT LOVE.) And, when you can’t get the guy off of your mind because he paid you the tiniest bit of what you crave and you start to send drunk texts as a half assed approach to show interest, that becomes a turn off unless the man is clinical. He may reciprocate to get what he wants, but he unconsciously knows you don’t value yourself, so why the hell should he?
Let me put it to you this way, if someone was following you around, desperately texting and calling in order to get a sliver of attention, and assuming you’re of somewhat sound mind, you’d find that to be a bit of a turn off, right?
So, here you can see that while you’d like to paint the picture of the Queen of Wands, your inner Nine of Swords is far more noticeable than your flimsy facade. That inner turmoil, anxiety, and desperation for love and attention is a sneaky snitch. Your body language, actions, and energy will always rat you out when you aren’t willing to.
However, I think that if this is something you’re experiencing regularly, you have been given the gift of a pattern. You have the ability to notice the pattern, and therefore the ability to CHANGE the pattern.
Play some role reversal, here. Do you want a man of quality, with a real sense of self and a sense of respect? Or do you want a drunk crying blob that you have to take care of in order to get a few nights of sloppy sex?
Ru says it best ladies: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gunna love somebody else?”
Can I get an amen up in here??
So, to not end on a depressing note, remember that everything starts with YOU. You want the man, the good job, and the fabulous life? Well, you have to start small. Take tiny steps to remind yourself that you are worthy of it. It won’t feel genuine at first, because of years of conditioning, but you must fake it till you make it baby. Look yourself dead in the eye in the mirror and say “I love you.” And one day you’ll wake up and believe it.
And PLEASE don’t cut corners. Sleeping with a stranger one drunken night does not a relationship make. You have to put in the work. You can’t just hop into bed and expect to fall in love. It just doesn’t work that way. Standards, boundaries, and plain old self love are the keys here. And if you don’t have any standards yet, stay tuned for the exercise on Wednesday. Remember that you are loved, you are worthy, and to always stay witchy ( *)
Do you have recurring dreams? Or do you just want some more insight into what your mind is trying to tell you?
Buy a pretty dream book and let’s get journaling!
I like to keep crystals and a dream journal on my night stand. I suggest that if you have recurring dreams you should, too. Having your dream journal handy when you wake up is essential for remembering what you dreamt.
Write down every single detail you can remember. Don’t worry about making sense of it now, just write it down.
Try to write a summary of the dream the best you can. Writing a storyline can also help you to figure out exactly what’s going on in there.
Once you’ve written down everything you can remember, I suggest just putting the book down until you have a weeks worth of dreams. Then the fun starts.
When you have a weeks worth, try to connect the dots. Is someone wearing a specific color? What do you associate that color with? Is someone saying something to you? What did they say? Can you see faces? Try to pick out themes from these observations.
Remember, dreams don’t have specific meanings. Your dream is like your own made up universe: you have created all of the language and metaphors. So if you look up in a dream book what a bridge means, it won’t mean the same thing to you, because that author hasn’t lived your life and collected your memories. This is an exercise in authenticity.
So what did you find? Did you explain some unexplainables? Or is there more exploring to do? If you need a helping hand and can’t figure out what your brain is trying to tell you, let me help you. Otherwise, keep journaling and stay witchy ( *)
I heard this saying a while back: Worrying is like a rocking chair, it passes the time but doesn’t get you anywhere.
I personally find this poignant because worrying has always been my go-to. With lots of practice, it is a fraction of the size of the problem it used to be, but, we are all a work in progress.
The Five of Pentacles is a major indicator of worry and desolation. But here’s the thing, going through a tough time is not going to be made easier by worrying about the future. The most important thing to do in times of hardship is to pick yourself up from your boot straps and do whatever necessary to get you back to a comfortable situation.
If you lost your job, instead of worrying about money, get on Craigslist and find a temp job until you can get something you love. Boyfriend broke up with you? Go out with your girlfriends to get your mind off of what he’s doing. Worrying about how you performed on the job interview? Get back out there to get more interviews, even if it was a slam dunk. Being proactive is going to help you get your mind off of things that are completely out of your hands at this point. You do not control them now, the universe does.
Another thing that helps is the repetition of mantras. I have had many upsets with dating, as you may have read, and when things start to go good, or bad, or hell even the same, I’m quick to worry. So to keep my head on straight and to put up a safety net in the rabbit hole, I repeat to myself a couple key mantras that work for me. Mostly they are reminders to have faith, go with the flow, and continue to be proud of how I show up. This is how I stay proactive in my mental health.
So you can sit in that miserable rocking chair all night and obsess over every detail you’ve made up in your head, or you can put all of that excess energy into something productive. Have some faith, and stay witchy ( *)