WednesdayWisdoms: Releasing the Negative

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When shitty things happen to you, and they will through the course of your life, you have two clear routes to take. As discussed in the previous post, you can turn to whiney victimhood, or to raw vulnerability that helps you move on in an organic way.

But before you get to this fork in the road, there is a long stretch of grieving. Some of us know how to grieve, in fact, we’re seasoned professionals. Some of us others, however, would rather push the grief down or aside until it takes the wheel as an act of rebellion,  and we’re forced down the road of panicky, inconsistent victimhood.

So for all of the events, people, pets, homes, jobs, or traumas you never got to grieve, I have an exercise in purging some of the anger that leads us down the back alley of victimhood.

We’re going to write down everything we wish we could have said “no” to.

I suggest Post-it notes or index cards. You want to write each specific event on a card of it’s own. We aren’t making a list, we’re giving individual space to each shitty life event.

There is no need to journal on this either. Give your event a title, and as you write it down, imagine what it would look like if you could have said “no” to this particular event.

Then, for each card, I want you to burn it (safely!) over an open flame. As you do, say the following:

“I cannot change the past, but I can re-route my future. I accept the reality of the present, and release my anger towards ___________”

This should help to begin a revolutionary healing process. Acceptance is the final stage of grief in the Kübler- Ross Grief Cycle. But we must move through the other six stages in order to get there.

What I find people hang on to the most in grief is guilt and anger. This ritual should alleviate some of those feelings so you can continue your journey inward, and then onward. Stay strong, and, as always, stay witchy ( *)

Tales From My Bedroom Floor: Volume 6, The Strong Woman in Training

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Volume 6 is now up on My Trending Stories! Go read here: https://mytrendingstories.com/article/tales-from-my-bedroom-floor-volume-6-the-strong-woman-in-training/

In this six part series, I go through times that were pivotal in collecting my personal and detrimental belief system, all while crying on my bedroom floor.

 

This is the final volume of this series, and I hope you all have enjoyed reading through it! From here on out, you’re going to see a new series, titled WednesdayWisdoms, coming to you weekly.

If you’ve seen the value in my Tales From My Bedroom Floor series, you will most certainly see the value in this new series, where I will be giving expert advice on the tools in my tool belt.

Stay tuned for next week, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Tales From My Bedroom Floor: Volume 4, The Best Friend

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Volume 4 is now up on My Trending Stories! Go read here:  https://mytrendingstories.com/article/tales-from-my-bedroom-floor-volume-4-the-best-friend/

In this six part series, I go through times that were pivotal in collecting my personal and detrimental belief system, all while crying on my bedroom floor.

And if you like my writing so far, please share and comment. I’m working on a new and long term project and would really like some feedback on my writing style. Thanks ya’ll and stay witchy ( *)

Grief

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To bereave quite literally means to deprive or to rob. Anyone who has dealt with grief will know that this is exactly how one feels. Robbed.

Be it a death, a divorce, the loss of a job, really anything that a person can become saddened by, we all have our own ways in which we grieve.

Some cry, some don’t. Some want to be alone, while others choose to be around loved ones. What is important is that when we grieve, we do it in a healthy manner.

Support can come in all different forms. If you don’t know what to say to a grieving person, that’s just fine. Grieving can be awkward for those not involved. But dancing around the subject of loss, rather than being present and accepting that you have no idea what to say, can actually harm the relationship you are trying to preserve.

The truth is, nothing will make a situation better. There is no magic wand to wave and “fix” reality. To best support a grieving person, offer a kind word, a hug, or even a smile. Let the person know that they can come to you for a chat if they want to. That they are in your thoughts.

Grief is never fun. But it is a necessary vehicle towards healing. The grief never really goes away, but it lessens over time. When you are a friend trying to help, you can always do so by just being there.

Stay supportive and stay witchy ( *)

Crying is Therapeutic

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When this card is reversed, it signifies the releasing of pain. And what better way to do that than have a good, old fashioned cry fest?

For many of us, we see tears as a sign of weakness. We spent the better part of our lives trying to mask any emotion that would trigger crying. We feel embarrassed when we cry. But why is that? Why do we steer clear of a natural response to pain?

In my opinion, the bravest thing a person can do is to feel their emotions truly. Rather than shove them deep down into the depths of their soul and try to hide them forever, or mask them with alcohol or any sort of addiction, to be able to feel your feelings in a raw way is an amazing thing. To step up and face these emotions with courage and acceptance is heroic, and we have the opportunity to do this every day.

I have definitely felt the repercussions of masking and hiding my feelings. It doesn’t work. Those feelings are tricky little bastards and they will manifest in many ways. Be it eating disorders, addictions, reckless behavior, or just plain snapping at people you are close to. If you don’t deal with your feelings, they’ll find a way to cry for help. Not until you learn how to address your emotions will you truly find balance.

And honestly, what feels better than having a good cry? Sometimes I feel like I need a purge of emotions so I play some sad songs or turn on a sad movie and just ball my eyes out. Its healthy. And although you may need to freeze some spoons to avoid puffy eyes, your emotional burden will be lightened.

So go on Netflix, watch The Notebook (I’m only half kidding) and have a cry fest. Stay true and stay witchy ( *)