Living Intentionally vs. Floating Aimlessly

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This concept was pretty revolutionary to me, because after digging around I found that floating aimlessly was triggering my anxiety and depression. I was trying to control while spiraling out of it, and it wasn’t until I started to live intentionally that I found direction. When I started to put an intention towards my actions, first small, then big, I started to feel a major shift in my energy and people’s reactions to it.

So what do I mean by this? Well, first, it’s important to find out what your core values are. Once you have uncovered what it is that you truly believe in, you can live your life in alignment with your values.

Is one of your values loyalty but you have a cheating boyfriend? Get rid of him. He doesn’t suit you and will only veer you off course. Do you believe highly in creativity, but are stuck in a cubicle answering phones? Get out there and find a job that challenges you. Live with INTENTION.

Now, living intentionally is not a means of control, but rather, pouring meaning into your actions. It’s living WITH purpose, instead of for it. It’s molding a life around your highest beliefs, and honoring them with follow through.

This can be done on a really small scale day to day as well. Is one of your values respect? Give your seat to an elderly man or woman on the train next time it’s packed. Do you have money anxiety but value abundance? Clean out your wallet and make it a sad haven for cash. The possibilities are endless, and the reason why most things tend to spiral out of control is because we simply aren’t paying true attention to them.

This new journey will make you feel like the Fool, just starting out on a whole new view of your world. But I promise, that once you exercise this daily and get it down pat, you’ll feel the victory and control of the Chariot. The world is an abundant and beautiful place, and it is time to reap the benefits. And it starts by living life with intention. Stay witchy, friends ( *)

ThursdayThinks: Practicing Surrender to Get What You Want

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(FYI, exercises are coming on Thursdays now ( *))

On Monday we talked a bit about how the need for control can actually be getting in your own way in terms of manifestation. So, how do we step out of the way? How do we surrender?

Well, it’s definitely a work in progress, but the very first thing you can do is try to find out where your control stems from. Make a list of all of your beliefs surrounding money and do some digging around them.

For example, your list could look like this:

  • I never have enough money
  • Money is the root of all evil
  • I have to fight everyday so I am not poor

These beliefs could breed some powerful actions that will tell the Universe to go “Fuck off,” and the Universe doesn’t really like that. So, you perpetuate a sense of poverty.

If you believe you never have enough money, there is a lack of gratitude. That is a huge block. So, the solution? Thank the universe for what you DO have everyday. Write a gratitude list. Make it a part of your routine.

If you believe money is inherently “bad,” you’re creating a block around it to protect yourself. Instead of becoming “evil,” you’ve placed a limit around yourself for the amount of money you’ll ever make. To combat this, you’ll need to start searching for the good in money. It is just a tool after all. It doesn’t make people evil; it’s just a resource. Try to research some top philanthropists to prove it to yourself 🙂 Just look at what Bill Gates is doing!

And finally, if you feel that you have to fight for survival, then you WILL fight for survival. Making the act of earning money into a battle isn’t serving you. The best way to start breaking down this belief is to create a budget. Now you’ll know exactly what you need to make for any given day, month, week, etc. And when you work to earn this amount, make it FUN and be grateful you even have the opportunity to hustle! Once you reframe your ideas around money from battle to banquet, the Universe will answer.

These are just a few ways you can start to break down your money blocks. Pay attention to every thought and every action. It is important to be conscious when trying to manifest. Get wealthy and stay witchy ( *)

Manifestation vs. The Need to Control

In my early manifestation days, I ran into a lot of blocks wondering where the object of my desire would come from. Where am I supposed to get this cash flow? Where will I meet my soul mate? Maybe if I do this, or play the lottery, or stay at this bar later, everything will work out because I’M making it happen.

Well, boo boo, I was certainly wrong.

When you try to co-create with the universe, control is like using Google maps to a destination you’ve been to before. It takes you totally out of the way, and if you just had a little faith, you’d get there a lot quicker.

The need for control is very common. It helps us feel like we’re DOING something. But you can actually take action without controlling an outcome. You can move forward, be determined in your goal, and let the universe do the rest. It’s called surrender. And when you just get the hell out of your own way, the magic starts to happen.

Surrender feels the most impossible when you feel out of control. As the Chariot reversed suggests, worrying about that which is out of your hands can only lead to blockages. It is time to let go and let God (or universe.) Because when you start questioning the universe, it says, “Forget it, you do it then,” and watches you struggle from a distance.

You know how everything, up until now, has worked out? You know the feeling of the Four of Wands? One of harmony and completion? Even if it was fleeting? That is the universe doing it’s work. Don’t fight it, and don’t try to work against it. I know things in life pop up constantly, and it gets frustrating and tiring, and we feel like if we don’t make moves we are utterly powerless, but it’s actually quite simple: just show up, do what you gotta do, and let the universe take care of the rest. Cutting in front of the universe and trying to one up it doesn’t hep you AT ALL.

And I’m not saying don’t do your taxes and hope the universe takes care of it. No. Do what you gotta in life. But don’t question. Don’t worry. Surrender to the fact that this will all work out, and stay witchy ( *)

Surrender isn’t Losing

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The Hanged Man can suggest that it is finally time to let go. And I don’t know of a word people are more afraid of than surrender.

When I first walked into the rooms of various support groups, I used to cringe at this word. And they throw it around A LOT. See, in my head, as a struggling perfectionist, surrender looked like waiving the white flag because you gave up. Because you were going to lose. And I wasn’t ready to live with that connotation.

However, surrender is quite a powerful idea. No, this is not a theme of war and tragedy, but rather relinquishing the tight reigns of control. You see, when you try to control outside forces that you just cannot, you are hurting yourself by obsessing. And when you surrender, you free yourself from that obsession, because you’ve given it up to something bigger than yourself.

And something bigger than yourself can be anything really. God, Goddess, energy, light, your kitchen sink. The point is that you have a metaphorical symbol to give your control over to. It helps to visualize. It helps to personify. It helps make it easier.

So when you think about surrender, don’t demonize it and make it weak. Because there are not many things in this world harder than realizing you can’t control everything. But when you accept this fact and practice this act of freedom, you will feel the weight of the world lift from your shoulders. Stay mindful of your control, and stay witchy ( *)

Control Freaks and the Unknown

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Reversed, the Emperor denotes excessive control and rigidity. And that sounds super familiar to me.

You see, regardless of the self help path that you venture on, you’re bound to revisit some demons. But when you face these demons with the tool belt you’ve stocked up, you’re more able to combat them in a successful way.

So, as a person who struggles with control, I constantly come into contact with situations that are far out of my control (obviously) and it makes my psyche suffer. Until I whip out my tool belt.

Let’s take, for example, my trip to Europe. I’ve always had a big problem with money anxiety and in order to keep that in check, I’ve used my tools. Let’s see what that looks like:

Alright so I booked the trip on October 1st. I set out a savings plan to give me “enough” money  (3000 US dollars projected) to last me the month that I’m away.

I’ve stuck with my plan to the best of my ability, and yet, there’s still anxiety surrounding the situation.

Why?

Because I’m facing an unknown. I’ve never been to Europe and I’m terrified that I’ll run out of money and be stranded.

But where does that stem from?

I’ve written about this before, and it was more philosophical, but now it’s personal. The reason why I feel like I need to control the money aspect is because I’m afraid of my spending habits while I’m there, and also the fear of being unable to support myself.

Having 3000 in hand is going to be as much as it is. That is the bottom line. But it isn’t the amount that’s scary. It’s me. I’ve lived with myself all of these years and know the rabbit hole I can fall down when I live recklessly. I’m still paying off a 15 grand debt from credit card purchases. 

So in order to combat the scariness that surrounds me, I breathe and recite mantras that instill trust in myself. I also research the hell out of prices in Europe for peace of mind, but I mostly breathe and chant.

You see, the money isn’t the issue. I have what I have and that is that. A five hundred dollar expense doesn’t just sneak up on you (under normal circumstances) so just remembering to have a little trust goes a really long way.

Having faith in yourself is difficult, because you are faced with your entire wrap sheet. But if you just take a breath, take a look at where you are, understand that there are forces outside of you that you have no control over, you actually gain peace of mind. Accepting and surrendering is the best way to stay on top of yourself. Remember to breathe and stay witchy ( *)

 

Why “Nurturing” is Not Synonymous with “Codependent”

Remember when I wrote about dichotomous thinking? Well this is a perfect example.

Upright, the Empress is the pinnacle of femininity, mothering, abundance, and giving. Reversed she is codependent and blocked creatively.

They are two sides of the same card, but that does not mean there isn’t  happy medium.

When I started to heal from my codependent habits, I thought that these two words were synonymous. And that was a huge problem for me, because I am a nurturer. This left me feeling highly confused. How do I foster my nurturing demeanor without losing myself in codependency.

Well, did you guess it?

It’s obviously boundaries.

You can be a caring person who wants to cultivate relationships WITHOUT losing yourself. For example, when I was with my infamous ex, I lent him so much money (aside from what he stole from me) that I couldn’t care for myself. This wasn’t helping out a trusted friend in a time of need with money I had to spare. This was giving out more than I could afford from fear of losing him.

See the difference?

I cannot stress this enough: TAKE CARE OF NUMBER ONE. You are the most important person in your life and you are the only one responsible for you. That doesn’t mean you can’t care for a significant other when they are sick by bringing them chicken soup and holding their head, but it does mean you can’t miss a ton of work to dote on them when you already can’t afford your rent.

I know that my examples are always pretty extreme, but bare with me here. This could be the path you are going down if someone’s well being means more than your own. This is an age of independence and mutual love. Two people walking down separate paths that merge together for an equally enjoyable partnership. Not one person jumping on the others and taking over to the point that their original path has disappeared. Control and codependency are pretty synced up here, and you have no business routing another persons journey, especially when it’s to dodge your own.

Being a nurturer is an amazing feminine quality. Celebrating femininity and what makes us differently special is an important and notable idea. Just remember, that you are the most important person that needs caring for. This is why, in airplane safety speeches, they say to fasten your mask first before helping another. You’re no good to anyone when you’re unconscious. Nurture yourself first, before you can nurture others. Stay caring, and stay witchy ( *)