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I feel so blessed for every moon cycle my dears!

I grow and evolve and for each full moon, I feel the skin shed and a new layer being introduced to the world.

As I write this, I am headed to an event where I will be reading tarot for a bunch of beautiful souls, looking for clarification in this emotional, deep, and glorious Scorpio Full Moon.

Us Scorpios don’t fuck around. We penetrate the shadow, and help to uncover pain, while healing it intuitively. Having this gift and an affinity for the shadow, I just feel so blessed to be able to read within this energy!

But I have a confession, I am nervous!

Which brings me to the topic of conversation for todays reflection: Fear.

Just because I do this professionally doesn’t mean I don’t have fear around public events. Or even going live in videos. Or even DM’s.

There’s always a tinge of “What if someone doesn’t like my interpretation?”

“What if they don’t understand my message?”

“What if I get judged?”

But the beauty in all of this, is that as the fear never goes away, it does SHRINK.

When I first started WitchyWisdoms, I knew it was something I had to do as a soul mission. Even though it scared the daylights out of me.

And every move forward I have had fear, but it has  become less and less the more I prove to myself that I can do it, no matter what.

Fear doesn’t disappear, but learning to navigate around it and cope within it is so essential on this Full Moon. As we grow, we love all parts of ourselves. Pain and all.

Use this Full Moon spread to find your pain point, and understand how it serves you. My fears always kept me safe, because if I listened to them, I could avoid judgement. But the growth of working through them is worth so much more.

Happy Full Moon babies. Get deep and stay witchy ( *)

What to Do When it All Falls Apart


Life happens. And sometimes, it is really, really shitty.

You know the saying, when it rains, it pours? Well, like many of you, I have experienced a hail storm.

So what are we supposed to do when it all falls apart? How do we keep it together when everywhere we turn there’s a new tragedy right in front of us?

The Tower represents a sudden upheaval. It shows chaos and turmoil. The eye of the storm. But what it also represents is nature’s order. There must be a rough pattern of weather before clear skies; you must push through the challenge to reach the other side.

If you’ve experienced death, then lost your job, then broke up with your boyfriend, then got kicked out of your apartment, you sure as shit know how tough life can be. But what if I told you the MOST challenging part of this journey is not the actual occurrence of the tragedy or setback, but the acceptance of it?

We fight so hard against just accepting the reality of a situation and it throws us into this dark, twisted fantasy land that we can’t escape from. If we just cried, got out the sadness, picked ourselves up from our bootstraps and moved forward, we would be one step closer to freedom. We would be moving out of the storm.

I mean, how much easier would finding a new apartment or job be if we just got real with ourselves and stopped wishing things were different?

The Sun reversed shows you are finding it difficult to see the positive. And trust me, I get it. You want to scream and cry and just give up because its all just TOO MUCH. And maybe the positive isn’t necessary, at least not right now. Maybe just the reality is enough. But it is imperative that you get a grip on what’s happening in order to survive this literal shit storm.

If you’ve lost someone near to you, grieve. Grieve authentically. Reach for support and talk it out. The acceptance will come naturally when you allow yourself to move through the stages. If you broke up with someone, grieve that too! Let it out, move to acceptance, and then get back on that horse. Man-shop on Bumble to distract yourself. Let the other person go so you can heal and focus on growing. Lost your job or apartment? Get on Craigslist. Take active steps to finding a new place to flourish. Listen, at the end of the day, you got this. The universe doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. It is not a cruel overlord. It is a teacher.

So when it all just seems to be way too much, give yourself a minute to cry. Cry hard. Cry from your gut. And then pick yourself up and take action to heal and to re-situate.  Make a list. Write down each struggle individually and journal about it. Tackle everything separately to organize your thoughts and emotions. Nothing is impossible. You just need the right tools. Stay strong and stay witchy ( *)

When Not Engaging is the Best Self Defense




When someone is acting childish, hurling insults, and just plain not seeing your side of the story, it’s easy to get frustrated and argue in order to “win.”
But what are you actually gaining from this behavior? Is it really worth it to throw some insults back at them? Because that almost always ends in regret.

As we see in the Five of Wands, everyone is shouting to no avail. No one wins because everyone wants to. And at the end of the day, is it about winning? Or is it about being heard?

What we should remember, instead, is to take the high road and not engage. When you do this, you’re actually forcing the person to look at their outlandish behavior, and, generally, they will shrink up and scurry away. And if this is someone worth having a discussion with, they will return once they have calmed down.

Embody the Queen of Cups and turn to compassion over reaction. Politely disengage from the argument until the other party is ready to communicate effectively. Have control over your emotions and remember that “winning” is not the desired result. Rather, showing up honestly and gracefully is the goal.

So next time a significant other is throwing a temper tantrum, or an uptight boss has a meltdown, take the high road. Not engaging in their fit will force them to see how ridiculous their actions are, and nine times out of ten they will reflect and apologize. Stay grounded, and stay witchy ( *)

 

Where Are You In Your Journey: Episode 5

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witchywisdoms.com

Episode 5 is live! Today I have a guest who has chosen to be anonymous. She helps to shed some light on being in an image based industry, struggles with weight as a child, and plastic surgery.

Tune in below and on iTunes ( *)

It Takes Two

Can you be in a healthy relationship with someone who is not fully healed?

The Lovers reversed suggests an imbalance. Some disharmony between the two. But I don’t think it is impossible.

Actually, I think the key here is willingness. When we enter into a relationship, we bring our own set of baggage, as our partner does, and we both have to work with it. We have to accept that it’s there, but also not let it get in the way.

So let’s say both partners have gotten out of pretty awful previous relationships. Let’s also say that one person has a higher EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) than the other. This may lead to some rough patches given that some baggage may bleed into the relationship, and only one partner is equipped to handle it.

Here I would say the willingness and acceptance of the partner who is struggling, as well as the patience of the other, is essential. Getting into therapy to help to cope with all of the new ups and downs of a fresh relationship could be very conducive for the struggling party. And not only for the relationship, but the partner as an independent.

As we see in the reversed Five of Cups, we need to move on and accept our shortcomings. Moving on and pushing through doesn’t mean forgetting the past, it means recognizing what makes you, you, and becoming the best version of yourself through practice.

Relationships are funny, in that they can be so compelling with two dysfunctional humans working in tandem. However, it only works well to a point. If you want a long lasting, fruitful relationship, BOTH partners have to be willing to be vulnerable, communicate, and accept their baggage. No one is perfect, but knowing that you aren’t and getting help with your roadblocks will ensure you have a healthy relationship. Regardless of if it works out or not is another story, but it will help you grow, minimize the drama, and treat your partner with fairness. Stay accountable and stay witchy ( *)

Tough News

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For anyone who is in therapy, was in therapy, or is considering it, this one is for you.

My first visit to my therapist during the tear down of my pivotal relationship was pretty torturous. I went in thinking that I was going to get a “yes man” who was going to agree with everything I said, tell me everything was fine, and that my life was going to be perfect. She was going to quell my doubts and tell me my relationship was peachy and I didn’t have to change a thing because I was right and knew everything.

LOL.

I lived in Jersey at the time, in the home I rented with my addict boyfriend who left for rehab a few days after we signed the lease. My therapist was all the way in Bay Ridge, so I spent the hour long commute in pure panic anxiety because, well, that’s what I did.

I walked into the office and some soothing music was on, which made me way more uncomfortable, and this cute little German lady came out of her office with a stern warmth about her. It was weird energy that I didn’t understand, but maybe that was because she lived in a healthy world of boundaries, and I lived on another planet.

I sat down in the room to fill out paperwork, and when she walked in we started. I’m a story teller, as you may have imagined, and need to give full explanation of every detail so I come across as perfectly understood, so about ten minutes into me droning on, she commented about my posture, and how I have basically white knuckled my way through proving to her that everything was OK.

See at this point, I was convinced that he was going to come back from rehab and everything was going to be OK. The lies and stolen money weren’t going to be the elephant in the room. He was going to stay clean and go to meetings. We were going to have our fairytale ending.

So by the end of the session, which was basically an introduction, she recommended that I get this book about codependency. At this point I was like, “Fuck off.” But I smiled and graciously accepted the advice.

I think I maybe went two more times when he was in rehab, but once he came back I abandoned my recovery and made my life dedicated to making sure he stayed clean.

He didn’t.

So when we broke up, I mustered up all of my courage to pull up her info from my phone and book another appointment. She welcomed me back with open arms, and through the rest of the sessions, once I really started to do the work, scribbled all over that damn book and went to meetings, I saw clearly.

She made a mention to me about my progress. How my speaking and posture have changed and how I just looked so sad and tired when I first walked into her office. Another “Fuck you” kind of bubbled to the surface at that point, but it was also a relief to hear. I wasn’t that right now. I had made progress. And I should be proud.

Now obviously the work doesn’t stop there. Its a 24/7/365 job. But its a job worth doing. So if you find that someone is trying t be frank with you and you just don’t want to hear it, take a minute to digest. They might be totally wrong, but they also might be right. Get help and stay witchy ( *)

Savoring Your Failures

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The Seven of Pentacles conveys themes of hard work and perseverance. It shows an investment in something, usually long term, and the expectation for reward.

But what if this investment isn’t as profitable as you had hoped? What if the finish line started to looked bleak from the other side, and you wish you hadn’t even started the race?

Well I’m sure we’ve all encountered less than fruitful endeavors. Most recently for me was my venture in real estate. After doing all of the classes, becoming certified, and practicing for around 6 months, I realized I was just not cut out for the business. I didn’t make a single cent and had to keep full time bartending to supplement.

And I’m going to tell you why this is OK.

Failures are never really failures. It is such an ugly and intense word with such a negative connotation, but it really shouldn’t be. Failures are not failures, they are vehicles.

No, I did not do well in real estate. But, through the short venture, I found that I was not cut out for it because of my personality and how far I am willing to go to cut a deal. My heart wasn’t in it. When I used to see myself as a shark who was fierce and business savvy, I realized that I actually wasn’t. At least, not in this context. I need more of a human connection, rather than looking at a client as a paycheck.

I tried to befriend my clients and listen to their needs. I tried to help them in every way possible in order to get them their “dream apartment…for now.” But I ended up getting swept out of the way by agents who were more aggressive and had more knowledge. It left me feeling unfulfilled and frustrated.

Through this lack of fulfillment (spiritually and monetarily,) I reached a point that I yearned for creativity so badly that I started this blog. Without that failure, or rather, that vehicle, I would not have had the push.

So savor your failures and thank them for bringing you to the point you’re at now. Even if that point looks cloudy, there’s sunshine up ahead through the knowledge you’ve gained. Stay thankful, keep failing, keep discovering, and stay witchy ( *)

Mean Girls

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Remember that saying: I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you?

Well that saying holds a lot of truth. When someone is outwardly rude or cruel, it’s a direct reflection of them. The only thing you are responsible for is how you show up and how you use your feelings after such an interaction. And that takes a lot of strength.

Now let’s be clear: this is a blog about SELF growth. I am not advocating everyone’s actions in the world and think all people are angels. Most of the time they aren’t. But if we individually work on self empowerment, maybe collectively we can all treat each other with more kindness.

When someone hurts your feelings, some people might suggest to not think about it. Well, I, for one, just don’t operate that way. Not by a long shot. But when I change my thinking from giving the inner critic a megaphone and start analyzing MY participation, I say that I showed up the best way I could, and everything else was on them. I get to go home sleeping on a pillow of self acceptance and they get to go home doing whatever they do. To me, I won.

This is about accountability. You are the only one responsible for how you feel and act. So to shower yourself in shame because one person decided to hurt you gives them all of the power.

So take that power back and stay witchy ( *)