Going along with Monday’s theme of separating reality from your beliefs, I thought I’d create a checklist of questions to ask yourself when faced with such a dilemma. How do you know when you’re seeing things as they are, or merely dancing with the proverbial pink elephant?
It’s helpful to do a line of investigation when anxiety builds. Am I anxious because of the actual situation? Or because of a set of beliefs I’ve built AROUND the situation? Follow these questions the next time you’re faced with that unsavory anxiety and see if it doesn’t shed some light on your feelings around it. Let’s take going on a job interview, for example:
Ok, so you’re nervous about your big interview. So nervous that it might get in the way of success, which makes you MORE nervous! What do you do?
What does it mean if things don’t go exactly as I planned?
Have you put more pressure on this situation than necessary? Do you think it will define your character in any way if you don’t get the job? Are you worried about what your friends and family may think, rather than being focused on how you truly want to show up?
Are these beliefs ego serving in any way?
Does the word “failure” come up? Is it mostly negative-focused? Have your friends and family misjudged you before? Are you judging yourself for fear of landing outside of “perfect?”
Ideally, HOW do I want to show up?
Is it anxious and fidgety? Or calm, cool, and collected? Is it bubbly and confident? Or shy and quiet? What is the ultimate personality that needs to be displayed?
What is not serving me in this moment to perform my best and how do I let it go?
Are my previous beliefs creating an anxious environment? What affirmations can I say to cool me down? Do I have a second to meditate, or list off things I’m grateful for? Can I surrender the things that are simply out of my control?
Just performing a simple line of questioning can knock you back into reality. And if your anxiety is REALLY bad, you can always do some rounds of tapping to help open you up and put you back in a grounded state. At the end of the day, the negative self talk and damaging beliefs are merely a form of self sabotage. So how do you stop it? Well, YOU stop it!
You have complete and utter control over what your head says to you. Make it a safe haven. A sacred place. Stay calm, and stay witchy ( *)