By practicing this kind of empathy towards someone who hurt you, instead of a flippant disregard of someone’s negative approach, you cultivate a deeper, more profound understanding of their pain. But what if you’re just not ready for that? What if their side doesn’t interest you?
Well, we’re going to paint this like the chicken and the egg. It doesn’t matter which comes first. If understanding helps you to forgive, we’ll work on that first. If not, we can forgive first. But the bottom line is that this forgiveness is for YOU. It is so you can free up negative hate space in your heart for a love that you so truly deserve. So, let’s get started.
If you want to try and understand from the person’s side first, I have to make one thing very clear: Understanding does not mean obsessing and over-analyzing. It is a deeper connection to the problem, and it exists without assumption. If you are in a position to ask for clarification, I suggest getting it straight from the horses mouth. But if not, write down a list of three things you would do in that situation if you were in their shoes. Write it from your perspective. And, if none of your answers measure up with what they’ve done to upset you, then you have to understand that their journey and their tools are much different than yours, and your forgiveness has to stem from there. Forgiveness is all about you. It is internal. It is your personal response.
And if you are not ready to understand the journey from their side, after you’ve had some time to cool down and are ready to forgive, you have to jump straight into the deep end. Forgiveness means accepting the course of events just as they are, accepting their actions just as they were, and accepting your responses as well. Forgiveness isn’t going to fix everything and make it go away, and your participation in a relationship with this person is entirely up to you afterwards, but forgiveness is essential to just move ON.
Forgiving people is really hard. And sometimes things that have happened to you are seemingly unforgivable. But if you do not forgive, you will hold on to that pain forever. Release the pain, forgive the past, and stay witchy ( *)