Making the Best Relationship You Can with the Worst Part of Yourself

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The Nine of Swords reversed is a card of sheer torment, anxiety and depression. It signifies utter sadness and despair. But, as with all cards of the tarot, there is a bright side: it is personal, which means it is manageable.

The title of this post is a quote from the book that I’m reading through now and am infatuated with, Women Who Run with the Wolves. I’m sure I’ve linked up to it in a past blog post. If you haven’t, buy it now.

It is such a powerful quote, because I truly believe that is the secret of self help. Knowing your faults, understanding your faults, and caring for them accordingly.

No one is perfect, nor will they ever be. But shaming yourself for your imperfections is more damaging than cleansing. It will spiral you down the well further to a point where you cannot see the light. And while there is always a way out, why delay the healing process?

So to make the best relationship with the worst part of oneself, where does one start?

Well, I think that you need to do a lot of self reflection in order to get to that worst part first. Mine is control and judgement. And those weren’t easy realizations to come to.

Understanding these faults comes with compassion. In doing some digging, I understand why these are present parts of my personality and knowing the backstory helps me to empathize with myself rather than throw shame in that direction. That is a great way to cultivate a relationship.

But then how do you care for them? Well each fault is unique to each person in accordance to their backstory. That is why the understanding portion is so crucial. But when you see these bad habits (or whatever you wish to call them) arise, you can sense them quickly, find the trigger, and do what you need to do to quell the urge to act on them. I repeat mantras and breathe, as most of you know. You can also give yourself space by removing yourself from a situation. Anything that will help you to care for that part of yourself that may be holding you back. Any team is only as strong as it’s weakest link.

Treat your “worst part” like your own child, but when they are having a tantrum. How are you best going to deal with this situation in order to come out on top? Spank them in public and cause a scene? Or remove yourself from a less-than-desirable situation and handle it after a few deep breaths? Remember to love all parts of yourself, and stay witchy ( *)

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