No one likes to be labeled as judgmental. In fact, in a world of shaming and prejudice, it is an extremely frowned upon characteristic to hold.
We need to utilize judgement in our daily practice in order to keep our covens strong and weed out the bad magic in our lives.
For example, when I see someone who is surrounded by drug use, I become hyper aware. Knowing what it is like to be an active addict from the inside out helps me to understand the degree of manipulation and the lack of control that goes hand in hand with this practice. It automatically casts a shadow of distrust and skepticism in my eyes. Am I assuming the worst? No. Do I proceed with caution? Absolutely.
See, I think the term judgement that we throw around embodies more of a hater ideology. It doesn’t come from a place of thinking that I’m better than someone for what they choose to do with their body, but I am using judgement as a tool to discern whether or not I want to keep this person close to me.
As a person with core values, I like to keep my coven tight knit with people who cherish similar morals and respect boundaries. It makes me uncomfortable to see people who do not have boundaries, and so I choose to keep them at an arms distance.
There is this awesome coach, Randi Buckley, who uses a garden as a metaphor for boundaries. She describes it as having many different concentric circles, and certain people are only allowed to a particular layer before their boundary is set in front of them. You wouldn’t have the same boundaries with a stranger on the street as you would with your mother, so there are different layers within your garden for different people who come into your life. I feel that this is an awesome way to illustrate the idea of boundaries in your mind, because you aren’t looking to shut everyone out, you’re looking to protect the beautiful bush of red roses at the core of the garden.
But in order to understand which layer people belong in, we have to use judgement. We have to be able to see what people can bring to nourish the soil in order to allow them a certain distance into the garden. If all they are doing is tromping on the flowers, we put up a fence. And judgement is a good tool to use to distinguish the weeds from the gardeners.
So when you use judgement, don’t let it consume you and turn into hate. That isn’t the point of the tool. Use it to protect yourself and create healthy relationships. You will be stronger for it. Protect your garden and stay witchy ( *)