Authenticity and the Chameleon Complex


You know the girl.

The one that walks into a room, statuesque and graceful. The one that catches everyone’s eye.

The one that you can’t help but want to imitate because she is everything you want to be.

The one that is an enigma. The one you dream of becoming.

Well I’ll tell you her secret:

She’s unapologetically authentic.

Oscar Wilde has this brilliant quote that goes, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” And it’s easier said than done. Honestly, it’s a pretty scary thing to live authentically. It’s a vulnerable place, and it takes confidence and faith in yourself. But man, that energy is magnetic and irresistible when you get there.

The┬áreal goal is to find inner peace with the person you are meant to be. Who is in your bones. Like the Lovers reversed suggest, you may be experiencing a disharmony within. This can be due to the loss of one’s genuine self; when you don’t know what makes you, you. It suggests looking at your inner belief systems and values to guide you.

We all have stories and experiences that comprise the makeup of our personality. Our life is filled with things we’ve glommed onto and made into our truth. And with this journey of self help, we are able to look back and unpack all of these beliefs, remove these little road blocks we’ve put in our way, and settle back into our true self.

Like, remember when you were a little kid and you did everything that made you happy without the fear of being accepted? When being accepted wasn’t even a concept in your world? That kind of authenticity and confidence is pure magic.

I’m not saying to strip away culturally accepted social norms and start lifting up your dresses to show your princess underwear (why do little girls always do that?) but I am saying that exploration and creativity is blocked by fears we have made up due to interactions in our life.

For example, I always had this belief that being wrong made you stupid. So I started to investigate this belief and realized it stemmed from a time I was too eager in a middle school class to answer a math question on the board. I got it wrong, the class got a kick out of it and I got ridiculed. So for the rest of my young life I carried around this belief and didn’t say a word unless I was 110% sure that I was right, for fear of being labeled an idiot. Sounds like its far-fetched, but those things that we make important to us at an early age develop into habits, and eventually, core beliefs.

So what we do in order to avoid being authentic (because, yes, scary) is we create a persona that we’re comfortable in that fills in these standards we’ve built over time. We become the fun-house mirror version of ourselves. We have engaged in the Chameleon Complex. We become quiet to avoid ridicule. We don’t dress the way we want because of what people may think. The scenarios are vast and full of detail.

So start stripping away all of that made up nonsense. Every time you encounter a belief that is hindering you, sit down with a piece of paper and try to trace back where that shit came from. It’ll help you to live your authentic life and be that girl with the magnetic energy. Get authentic, bare your bones and stay witchy ( *)