What is Holding Me Back?

Hello witchy readers! Welcome to a three part series that is basically an open book worksheet in self- awareness. In this three-parter I’m going to sift through and discover some traits that I possess that are holding me back, traits that I admire, and how to move into my ultimate awesome self by employing some self help skills. I invite you all to do this along with me, cards or not.

Lately in my daily readings I have been having strong emotional reactions to cards that illustrate some of my shortcomings (no one is perfect,) and in the spirit of getting curious, I thought I would openly sift through the clutter in the hopes that it may help a few of you as well. Within this series, I’m going to be using cards to illustrate certain qualities. Not that these cards or qualities should be shamed in any way because of their context, but to help drive the point further.I want to make this clear: these cards do not definitively mean what I have associated them with. They are merely my interpretations to fit my life and my story. If they show up in a reading for you, they can mean something entirely different.

Now lets dive in.

So at first glance we see the suit of swords popping up frequently, one Major Arcana, and a reversed court card. The suit of swords deals with the mental level of consciousness; intellect, action, and change. Major Arcana cards represent large life lessons or obstacles. Kings represent a strong, powerful, male influence within the suit.

The Two of Swords represents how I block my feelings. After many bad experiences, I have created a wall around myself to protect me. Not in the way of healthy boundaries, but in order to not let anyone in. I see myself do this in the way of self sabotage.

The Ten of Swords represents how easy it is for me to fall into self pity. I have an easier time recognizing the triggers now, but when things are not going well, I tend to fall down the rabbit hole.

The Eight of Swords represents a lack of direction. This isn’t actually representative of myself, but it’s a trigger for anxiety. I feel as though if I don’t have a plan, everything will go to shit and the world will be set on fire. This fear is hindering at times.

The Moon represents being overcome by anxieties. This Major Arcana card also reinforces the previous in the theme of confusion. When my anxieties take a hold of me, I become completely derailed and focus only on the negative.

The King of Wands reversed is a big one for me. He represents impulsiveness. I have written before about acting with intention over impulse, and he is the inspiration. My anxiety drives me to act impulsively, and this is something I have been working on as of late.

 

At the end of the day, I do not want to be a closed off hermit who wraps herself in a blanket of anxieties and never experiences happiness because I am getting in my own way. While that is an extreme metaphor, if it weren’t for self help and doing the work, it’s not far from what could actually happen. Through tarot and self help, I am discovering (and can help you discover!) the biggest obstacles in the way of enlightenment and happiness. And the coolest part about this exercise is that these cards were all in my spread today when asking to show my shortcomings. The cards can be very honest when you listen properly.Stay tuned in two days for part 2 and stay witchy ( *)

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