Your Goal, Your Motivator, and the Journey

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The Chariot is a very triumphant card that represents conquest through willpower and determination. And for every task that can be succeeded, there is a motivator to keep the tenacity alive.

But what motivates you? And does that motivator lead to healthy goals?

While it can be argued that regardless of the motivator, the completion of the task is what is important. But, this combo says a lot about you and will unearth a lot of deeper soul stuff. This will help show you where you are in your life.

Personally, men and love were my motivators for a very long time. And the journey to the goal was quite unhealthy. I would go out of my way to do things that I wouldn’t normally do, some dangerous, some not, in order to be liked more by the male species. And once I realized that none of these decisions were actually mine, my whole world got flipped upside down.

Suffering with bulimia was motivated by men and love. If I could just get skinny enough, I would find my soulmate, put on that size zero white dress, and walk down the aisle. I just needed to be thin in order for that to happen. Being thin and finding love was the goal. Men and love were the motivators, and bulimia was the journey.

Being cool and bad ass by smoking a bunch of meth was motivated by men and love. If I quit doing that, I would be uncool and lose my amazing drug dealing boyfriend who still lived with his grandparents.And what a catch he was! He was the motivator, being cool was the goal, and ruining my body with illicit substances was the journey.

Trying to make a toxic and co-dependent relationship work was motivated by men and love. Because who could love the failure and the quitter that couldn’t get her boyfriend off of heroin? The goal was a perfect relationship, that man, and ultimately love, were the motivators, and codependency was the journey.

You see, when you forgo your own will for the sake of proving something for the wrong reason, you end up getting swept under the rug. You lose your personality and become this chameleon, rather than harnessing your inner bad bitch and becoming a unique kween that people will love for the right and true reasons.

But these goals and motivators aren’t always super scary after school special stories. Sometimes they are really simple things that reflect what we are willing to do and for what reasons.

Like staying in a job you absolutely despise for the money. While money may be your goal, your journey is hell! And finding a new job is just not as daunting as it once was. Many of us have the freedom to find a job, but won’t leave because the comfort motivates us to stay.

Even something silly and actually quite healthy as a goal could prove to have not so healthy motivators. As I said before, men and love motivated me. But sometimes the goals attached were healthy ones. The only difference was, that since I wasn’t attaining these goals for me, but for them, the journey wasn’t fully and purely my own.

I remember in high school I used to practice singing in front of the mirror, putting on a heartfelt concert for all of my ex boyfriends and current crushes. I was going to be the best singer ever and I was going to croon like the greats JUST so they would know what they were missing out on.

Instead of doing it because I loved it (which I did, and I do) it became all about them. I lost my goal to sing for enjoyment in my motivators. I would only sing songs that would reflect how I felt about THEM, rather than broadening my horizons and experimenting for my own creative gain. My journey was filled with pain and spite, and I was confined to that.

Now I am not saying to dissect your whole life and every decision you ever made in this way, but when you start to realize a pattern in your behavior, you can start doing the good hard work towards being your authentic self. Be happy where you are, trust the journey, question your goals and motivators, and stay witchy ( *)

 

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