Being Lonely When You’re Surrounded by People


“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.”
Douglas Coupland

On any given weekday, there are approximately 4 million people inhabiting the tiny island of Manhattan. So how is it possible, when we are sandwiched into overcrowded trains, streets, restaurants, and movie theaters, that it is possible to feel so alone?

Whenever you are single, you see couples everywhere. It’s almost like that Orange Car Effect again. What you want to see manifests in front of you because you are searching it out. But instead of helping to attain your goal, it just teases you from afar.

Even if you don’t want a relationship, it is easy to feel lonely around your friends. Like when you are the only one making plans and seeking out one on one time with them. Or when you’re the primary texter. Or when you have to go out and drink in order to see them.

I equate loneliness to being stuck in your head. When you feel that no one can relate to you, and you’re crying out inside to find your people, your soulmate, or really just any one who has a similar idea of the world, you hold the ones around you to a pretty high standard just to convince yourself that you need more.

But maybe, when you are feeling this way, it is time to open yourself up to new ideas and ways in which to relate to others. Relationships are a two way street, and in order to establish a real human connection, mind body and spirit must all be present. Pokemon Go and Candy Crush should be put away at dinner with a friend. Facebook and blogging during an outing are your way of isolating yourself.

Much like the reversed image of the Five of Pentacles suggests, this is a time of inner, spiritual poverty. This indirect, self-inflicted isolation can make you feel very alone. However, because this idea is created by you, you have the power to undo it. Rethink it. Rewrite it.

Be thankful for those in your life. They are there for a reason. So get real when you get lonely, and stay witchy ( *)